Fearing for their children’s futures, parents search for universal parenting techniques that will put their kids on the route to a prosperous job and a happy life. But times are changing, and the old principles of success are no longer relevant. Sometimes, parents’ actions, intended to be helpful, can actually create challenges for their children’s future.
1. Not allowing their kid to fail
Perfectionist parent often strives for perfection themselves, leading them to expect increasing levels of perfection from their child as they grow older — from the child’s artwork never being good enough to their bed not being made perfectly or not studying hard enough. The child faces constant criticism and reprimands but is never allowed to learn from their mistakes. Children of perfectionist parents may grow up to be perfectionists themselves or develop low self-esteem and lack confidence. Both outcomes can negatively impact their future careers.
- Anna’s mother always compared her to Mary, saying, “Look how tidy Mary is compared to you, Anna!” Despite Anna’s efforts to emulate Mary, she never measured up, and her mother’s criticism only intensified. Anna’s mother never allowed her the chance to improve her habits and learn basic skills. Now at 25 years old, Anna still compares herself to others and always comes up short in her own eyes. Needless to say, this constant comparison has taken a toll on her self-esteem.
2. Paying a child for good grades
This topic remains a subject of debate, but consider this perspective: imagine yourself as a contractor continually paying more for a product or service, with the child as the supplier providing it in exchange for money or rewards. It doesn’t sound like a good idea, does it?
- Alexandra’s parents sought to motivate their daughter to excel in her studies by offering money as an incentive. Initially, Alexandra’s grades improved, suggesting the approach was effective. However, her parents later discovered that she had been fabricating stories about an imaginary illness and sharing them with her teachers. She even falsely claimed that her parents constantly criticized her for poor grades. The sympathetic teacher then raised Alexandra’s grades out of pity. Following this incident, Alexandra’s parents discontinued the practice of paying for grades and sought guidance from a child psychologist.
3. Preventing their child from expressing their feelings
Sometimes, adults dismiss a child’s feelings as wrong — insisting that bruises don’t hurt, feeling anger toward a child who hit them is shameful, or being sad even with a valid reason is incorrect. Parents often do this with good intentions, wanting to teach their children proper behavior. However, it’s crucial to recognize that a fundamental skill for modern individuals is the ability to acknowledge and manage their feelings, emotions, and needs.
- Kate, now 37, vividly remembers how her mother forced her to give away her beloved doll to another girl, admonishing her for being “greedy” and scolding her for getting upset over a “stupid toy.” Kate never got her doll back. Over the years, she has worked hard to assert herself, learning to say “no” to demanding people, including her boss and coworkers. Despite this, Kate often feels guilty whenever she refuses to comply with their requests.
4. Failing to support their child in front of strangers
Every child needs the assurance that their parents will stand up for them in any conflict, regardless of the situation, and won’t blindly trust the words of authority figures like teachers, principals, or neighbors. When parents allow their children to speak up for themselves when they are ready to take responsibility for their actions, it helps them develop healthy self-esteem and a sense of personal accountability.
- Maggy was raised by her grandmother, who often said, “But what will other people think?” Although her grandmother loved Maggy and wanted the best for her, she constantly emphasized the importance of public opinion. As a result, Maggy struggles to make her own decisions and even relies on her friends’ opinions when choosing something as simple as dessert.
5. Drawing inspiration and comparing to successful people
Each generation has its own set of heroes whom young people aspire to emulate. In recent decades, the tales of personal success from wealthy and influential individuals have become widespread. However, it’s not as simple as learning their life story and achieving happiness. If it were that easy, everyone who reads their books would have solved all their financial problems by now.
- Alex developed a passion for computers from a young age. Inspired by the story of Steve Jobs that his dad shared with him, Alex immersed himself in learning everything about Apple. When it came time to choose a university, Alex initially believed he didn’t need higher education because Steve Jobs succeeded without it. Eventually, Alex realized the importance of education for his path and pursued college to advance his career. Now, Alex jokes, “What worked for Steve Jobs is just a waste of time for an ordinary guy like me.”
6. Pressuring their child to decide on their future career
The notion that a person should stick to one career for their entire life is likely outdated and impractical. Many modern occupations didn’t exist a decade ago, while others have already become obsolete.
- Since childhood, Max had a passion for exploring computers and understanding various software programs. Despite his parents’ concerns, he pursued this interest and eventually discovered online courses in software testing. Now, he is thriving in this field, leveraging his potential and skills.
- Laura, at 37, worked as a sociologist for a major consulting firm but found it challenging to maintain her career after having her son. During maternity leave, she rediscovered her love for photography. Starting with unique photos of her child, Laura progressed to offering photoshoots for friends’ and acquaintances’ kids. Over time, she opened her photo studio. Laura now earns as much as her husband and successfully manages her professional life while caring for her family. This shift exemplifies the evolving nature of careers and the importance of embracing new opportunities.
7. Arguing about money
Since children may absorb long-lasting messages from these circumstances, it’s crucial to avoid arguing about money or other matters in front of them. Instead of one-on-one conflicts, which can cause youngsters to take sides and become distressed, talks should be led in a way that promotes involvement.
- Chris grew up witnessing his parents argue about money. When he went to college at 17 and moved away, he struggled with managing his finances and spending on unnecessary items. He now fears starting relationships, believing that money is the root cause of his sadness.
8. Prohibiting the child from using social networks
Social networks have become today’s equivalent of the yards and neighborhoods where we used to play as children. Kids can learn valuable skills through computer programs integrated with social media platforms. While parents should remind their kids about online safety rules, depriving children of this experience can be harsh.
- Aria’s mother was surprised to discover that her 10-year-old daughter had learned to create cool videos. Even more surprising was the realization that Aria had learned this skill from using TikTok. Now, creating short videos has become a family hobby for them.
9. Teaching the kid that they have the stuff at home
Many of us recall times when we asked our parents to buy us things, only to hear, “We already have that at home; we don’t need it.” Some parents repeatedly expose their children to such situations, unintentionally discouraging them from getting what they truly need. This pattern can significantly impact their financial habits as adults. On the other hand, constantly satisfying a child’s every need can also have negative effects.
- Jan’s mother often tells him they have things at home and they don’t buy them from the store. Jan has learned to overlook his needs, and with each subsequent request, he withdraws more, knowing not to ask. When Jan grows up and earns his income, money will go towards trivial things because that’s how he’s learned to live.
10. Preventing children from getting into conflicts
The ability to engage with others is perhaps one of the most crucial professional skills one can possess. It’s important not only to help children make friends but also to teach them how to engage in healthy arguments. People often hold differing opinions, and there are various ways to express emotions. The sooner children grasp this concept, the easier their interactions with others will be, including in professional settings.
- Michaela spent her life avoiding conflicts, preferring to agree with others rather than engage in disputes. She believed that someone always had to be the “smarter” one, but this approach proved more harmful than beneficial. One day, Michaela learned about active listening and decided to apply this approach in her professional life. She excelled at paying attention to others’ perspectives while also expressing her feelings when others attempted to take advantage of her. Initially, people found her communication style unconventional, but conflicts with coworkers became more constructive, leading to mutually beneficial resolutions.
11. Helping their child learn to save money
The world is always changing, and old ways of making or saving money might not work anymore. We can’t predict what skills will be valuable in the future economy. That’s why it’s important to teach kids to be flexible and ready for change, not just to save money.
- Emily’s grandfather saved money his whole life “just in case.” But when that “case” finally happened, a financial meltdown made all his investments lose value. Emily saw this while growing up, and now she’s worried the economy could collapse at any time. She believes the best investment is in her skills and knowledge.
12. Trying to build a strong character with the help of sports
While there’s a widespread belief that sports are beneficial for discipline and character development, excessive competitiveness in professional sports can be detrimental to a child’s physical and mental health. This competitiveness can be fueled by both fellow young athletes and coaches. Only a few individuals become champions, and coaches often prioritize these select few, neglecting the rest of the team. Coping with this unfair treatment at a young age can lead to low self-esteem and confusion about alternative life paths if a child must stop playing sports.
- Tom’s mother pursued rhythmic gymnastics as a child but had to abandon her Olympic dreams due to a leg injury. When Tom was three, his mother enrolled him in gymnastics classes, hoping he would excel. However, Tom struggled in this sport, leading him to lose interest in school, feel like a failure, and struggle to identify his strengths. Now, Tom is studying to become a child psychologist to help parents navigate the challenges of raising children without making the same mistakes.
Being protective of your children is natural, but it’s important to set boundaries. Respecting their privacy is crucial for a healthy parent-child relationship and their personal development. Violating their privacy can have serious negative effects, especially on their mental health.
“If I’d married an American and lived in Hollywood, I’d probably be on my third husband by now.”
Following a promising career in show industry, Rachel Ward appeared to vanish from the public eye.
Rather than pursuing celebrity, she concentrated on her 39-year marriage to Bryan Brown and their expanding family.
She is devoted to her two grandkids, who she now has.
About the same time that Rachel Ward met Bryan Brown, she was listed as one of the ten most beautiful women in the world. She was a rising star who had been nominated for a Golden Globe and appeared on the cover of UK Vogue.
Richard Chamberlain, her co-star in “The Thorn Birds,” was enamored with the stunning actress. Speaking about their time together on set, he remarked that because of his stunning co-star, all the love scenes were a pleasure to perform. She was in love with someone else, though, even as he was falling for her.
At one point, Chamberlain disclosed that Ward was falling in love with Brown at the time, indicating that she was a romantic, but regrettably not for him. Despite this, Chamberlain claimed that Ward’s enthusiasm was infectious, primarily due to the fact that they portrayed a couple in love.
He went so far as to say that it was easy to accept that Ward was in love with him and no one else. “I assumed I was the one! It was amazing. God, he used to think, ‘She’s really into me.
According to Ward, there was a strong attraction between her and Brown. “His pecs were nice.” It is, after all, quite chemical, don’t you think? She talked about what made her fall in love at first, saying, “It’s pretty basic.” In all honesty, there was no other way to explain her feelings—she simply liked him.
Brown, meanwhile, immediately concluded that Ward was “not a bad sort.” He was attracted to her right away, but it took him a while to express his interest in her. For Ward, however, this was no big thing because, according to Brown, it was a challenge she was eager to take on until he eventually changed.
It was obvious once Ward made up his mind about him: the 35-year-old ladies’ man, who was, to be honest, just a man averse to commitment, was done playing games. It was now time for him to be married, if not to the stunning Rachel Ward.
Despite coming from a shattered home, Brown never thought he would get married, but in nine months, he and Ward were married. Before Ward entered his life, he used to assure his mother that he would never get married.
Ward and Brown were married under different circumstances, despite the fact that many people decide to get married after discovering they have everything they could possibly need and want in a spouse. Brown was filming a project with Paul McCartney in London at the time. When Ward arrived, they got into a heated dispute.
Brown said, “I just thought we may as well get married if we’re going to argue like that.” In Oxfordshire, the home of Ward’s boyhood, they were married that year. After a while, they made Sydney their home, raising Rose, Matilda, and James, their three children.
Selecting an Alternative Course
Ward was the star of numerous songs prior to “The Thorn Birds.” Although her 1983 mini-TV series with Chamberlain was well-received, she eventually gave up acting due to scathing criticism of her performance. Speaking on her personal experience, she acknowledged:
“I took being slaughtered very seriously. After that, I never really regained my confidence.
Ward’s career was impacted by “The Thorn Birds,” but in the end, it helped her find the love of her life. As they waited for a take one day, Brown instructed Ward to raise her hand. When he saw three lines in her hand during his palm reading, he concluded that she would give birth to three children. They had no idea that they would end up having three children together.
Ward kept acting, but not very often. She made the decision to put her family first and relocated to her husband’s home country of Australia.
In response to a question concerning advice on preserving marriage, Brown says that one should “say yes to your wife all the time, and if anything goes wrong, say ‘it’s my fault.’” Men would be happier if they knew that.
Together, the charming couple had three children who all follow in their footsteps: The most well-known roles for their 1987-born daughter Matilda are in the television series “Lessons from the Grave,” “How God Works,” and “Let’s Talk About.” Their daughter Rosie is well-known for “Black Mirror,” “Inside No. 9,” and “Gangs of London,” while their only son Joe is well-known for “Let’s Talk About” and “Rake.”
Brown acted in the family-friendly film “Palm Beach,” directed by Ward, with his daughter Matilda. The family completed the project collectively.
When Matilda, Ward and Brown’s daughter, gave birth to Zan Neathway Gooding, her first boy, in 2019, the couple became grandparents for the first time. Brown remained by her daughter’s side, eager to eventually hold his grandson in his arms.
The actor did not sure how to react to being referred to as “grandfather,” even if he was a devoted grandfather, since it seemed to reveal his age. But whether he liked it or not, he had to admit that he would always be referred to as “grandpa.”
At first, Brown was concerned about becoming a grandfather because a lot of people were assuming he would adore it. When his grandchild arrived, he quickly became attached to the young boy and wanted to spend as much time as possible with him. He had wanted to work through that portion on his own.
Following the birth of her son, Matilda married Scott Gooding, formally becoming his adolescent son’s stepmother. They had originally planned to wed on Brown and Ward’s land in New South Wales, but they had to postpone their wedding due to the fear of a wildfire.
The family was forced to evacuate after the bushfires threatened to destroy their house. Although they would have preferred to wed at home like her parents did, Matilda decided to get married in Sydney to make sure everyone was safe.
Gooding’s kid was very involved in the wedding. With a broad smile on his face, he stood behind his father during the ceremony. According to the renowned chef, the wedding was “possibly the best moment” of his life, therefore it was the perfect unforgettable occasion.
Matilda is a happy mother of two now that he has had her younger siblings taken care of. Gooding posted a cute picture of his son strolling and pulling the pram of his younger siblings.
Similar to how Ward and Brown remain involved in their children’s life, they also make an effort to spend as much time as they can with their grandchildren. The devoted grandparents post glimpses of their grandparenting on Instagram, where they participate in a variety of activities.
Ward is seen gardening with her oldest grandson Zan in one cute video. In their herb garden, they can be seen sprinkling sugar cane mulch. Gooding boasts that his mother-in-law is “nurturing” her grandkids in the same manner that she strives to take care of the surroundings.
Zan spends time with their farm’s horses when he and his grandmother, whom he refers to as “mopie,” aren’t in the garden. They also spent a Christmas at the family farm, where the devoted grandma raised her first grandchild by exposing him to the animals at a young age to help him become accustomed to them.
Anouk, her second grandchild, arrived, and Ward made sure to spend equal time with him. One day, Gooding took pictures of Ward walking with her daughter Matilda and her second grandson, capturing the precious moment.
When their daughter Rosie became engaged to her fiance Andrew Cameron in 2020, their family grew even more. The start of a stunning partnership was marked by their Instagram engagement announcement.
After a span of two years, Rosie and Andrew joyfully relocated to a stunning new residence in New South Wales. Surrounded by a forest, waterfalls, and an abundance of avocado trees, the property has a modest house.
All of their neighbors stopped by to give the gorgeous couple a warm welcome when they arrived in the neighborhood. They declare they intend to stay awhile and claim to have everything they could possibly need in the town.
Cameron is an Australian regenerative farmer who shares Ward’s enthusiasm for the practice. He was a perfect fit for the rest of the Brown family, which made it simple for everyone to get along and share interests.
Ward and Brown have raised their family admirably throughout it all. Despite the fact that their children have grown, they maintain a close relationship and try to spend as much time as possible with their in-laws. The Browns, Goodings, and Camerons were a joyful family celebrating Christmas together in 2021.
Ward claims that at that point in her life, she most likely would have been married to a third husband if she had married an American and moved to Hollywood.
Ward and Brown are enjoying a successful marriage and their children are all grown up and independent. Ward acknowledges that she thinks there’s more to life than her marriage and her family life, even after 39 years of marriage and counting. Says she:
“While my family and marriage are very important to me, they are also not the end all be all.” I want to pursue a profession in acting because I adore it.
Ward has all the connections necessary to maintain her presence in Hollywood, even if she has spent the years living in Australia. As a matter of fact, she has been making the trip to Hollywood on demand for years.
Ward claims that even though it could have been more practical for her to live in America for her career, she most likely would have been married to her third husband by then if she had married an American and moved to Hollywood.
Rather, she is in a committed relationship with the passion of her life and has complete control over her house and family. When she’s not working on a project, the actress frequently shares with her kids what she does with pride.
One day, while painting her house over several days, her daughter Rosie captured her elevating a glass and the ladder she needed to do the job. Instagram users agreed with the happy daughter’s goal of showcasing what an amazing mother Ward was.
Ward shares more on her Instagram than only her abilities and priceless family moments—her sense of humor. She corrected misinformation regarding her activities during the COVID-19 pandemic.
She reported the following facts: (1) she hadn’t visited the US in more than five years; (2) she didn’t have a personal trainer; (3) she had spent the previous ten days at the mid-north coast; and (5) she lacked COVID-19. “Take a swing at another witch,” she concluded her amusing message.
Ward works on her farm while Brown is filming “Darby and Joan” on television. Together with other things, they are the owners of The Good Farm Shop, which offers ready-made, organic meals.
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