Dysfunctional families affect the quality of life of each of the members, especially the children. These troubled relationships cause chronic feelings of guilt, shame, or worthlessness, as well as attachment issues.
The teenager who shared her story on Reddit some time ago comes from such a family where the father is basically absent from his children’s lives despite living under one roof with them.
She took to the Reddit thread AITA to explain that it was her mother who took care of her and her siblings while the father wasn’t really involved in their upbringing.
One day, as he got home and left his mobile phone on the table, OP could read the message that he received at that moment which said, “last night was amazing, can’t wait to see you again” and some emojis.
After thinking about it for a short time, she decided to tell her mother that her dad was cheating on her. “She got pretty emotional which I felt bad about, and told me not to worry and that I should just worry about being a kid and let her take care of the rest, so I just let it go cause I didn’t want to hurt her more.”
One evening, the entire family gathered for dinner at OP’s grandfathers. There, her cousin shared the news that she started a new job. Everyone was pleased with the news, but then OP’s father told OP that she should be more like her cousin because she wasn’t any good according to him. But he didn’t stop there. In fact, he continued shaming OP telling her she should focus more on school and a lot more.
At one moment he mentioned that OP lacked respect for him, and that was the final straw.
At this point, OP had it enough. “Hard to respect you when you openly cheat on Mom and don’t even try to hide it,” she said in front of everyone.
The room went silent at first, but then her father started yelling both at her and her mother. The mom then took her kids and told her husband she shouldn’t be returning home.
Once home, OP started receiving text messages from her relatives who accused her of ruining the evening and the family. Her mom, however, told her “that she understood my frustration and I probably should have expressed it better privately but what’s done is done.”
Redditors were quick to comment that OP was NTA.
What are your thoughts on this?
Do I Need to Tell My Husband What I Caught Our Son Doing?
Do I Need to Tell My Husband What I Caught Our Son Doing?
In the heart of a serene farmhouse nestled on a sprawling property, a mother’s world turned upside down as she stumbled upon a painful truth. A family reunion, initially intended as an opportunity for togetherness took an unexpected turn, leaving the matriarch in a state of shock and confusion.
A red barn house | Source: Pexels
In July 2020, an anonymous female poster shared her story in Reddit’s “Relationship Advice” forum. The Original Poster (OP) revealed how her brother, aged 37, along with his wife and two children, moved into the large farmhouse owned by her and her farmer husband.
The intention was to create a harmonious living arrangement, allowing everyone to work remotely and providing OP’s nieces with the charm of farm life. OP, aged 44, was already a mother to three children, all of whom lived with her and her husband. The kids included an 18-year-old son, a 16-year-old daughter, and a 13-year-old daughter.
Woman holding a shopping cart in a grocery store | Source: Shutterstock
On the day her brother arrived at her farmhouse, OP went on a routine trip to buy groceries with her son. She bought food while he purchased his gym supplements from the nearest pharmacy. When her son returned home, OP noticed an unexpected item in her 18-year-old son’s bag — two packs of condoms, totaling 72. She dismissed it at the time, attributing it to responsible behavior in a newfound relationship.
Despite being taken aback and utterly speechless, OP kept herself composed and decided not to confront them.
A family of three enjoying a walk on their farm | Source: Shutterstock
Months passed, and the family routine continued with apparent normalcy. The brother, his wife, and the eldest son engaged in early morning runs around the farm, creating an illusion of a close-knit family.
OP didn’t sense anything unusual until June 2020 when her son and SIL supposedly left for their morning run but she didn’t see them make any rounds around the farm, despite being awake in the morning baking something delicious for the family.
“I asked about it and they said they decided to hit the road (I [thought] nothing of this everything seemed normal). My SIL and son seemed to have a very good bond,” explained OP. However, the idyllic facade would soon shatter.
Woman looking outside through the blinds | Source: Shutterstock
A day before sharing her story online, OP was returning home from a friend’s house early in the morning when something struck her. The sun wasn’t up yet, and the sky was a little dark, allowing her to notice that the cabin on her farm was open with a light still on.
OP walked over to turn off the lights and close the door, thinking that perhaps one of the workers forgot to lock up the cabin. Just when she was about to close the door and switch off the lights, something caught OP’s attention. Moving closer, she heard people making love, which triggered her to sneak a peek.
Couple sleeping together | Source: Shutterstock
To OP’s dismay, it was none other than her oldest son and 34-year-old sister-in-law sharing physical intimacy. Despite being taken aback and utterly speechless, OP kept herself composed and decided not to confront them.
Reeling from the shock and feeling conflicted, OP couldn’t help but wonder about the timeline of her son and SIL’s allegedly close relationship. The shock was palpable, leaving OP grappling with a myriad of emotions.
The revelation posed a series of challenging decisions – should she confront them? Should she disclose the truth to her brother? What about her husband? The weight of the secrets she now harbored cast a somber shadow over the once-harmonious family home.
Worried senior woman sitting on a couch | Source: Shutterstock
Reflecting on the signs she had overlooked–the unexplained morning runs, the seemingly close relationship between her son and sister-in-law, and the abundance of condoms–OP found herself at a crossroads. Thereafter, she turned to random strangers online for help and advice.
OP’s narrative received an overwhelming response from fellow readers, many of whom shared their thoughts in the comments. “I grew up on a farm and I’m just going to give you the advice no one here has yet – hide the guns. Lock them up in a safe if you have one and put the key in a new place. No matter how you handle this it’s gonna be bad. I’m surprised at people’s advice to go to your brother first,” suggested one user.
“Talk to your husband first, then your son with your husband, then your brother. l based on those conversations. Your husband deserves to know what’s happening with his son and you need to protect your kid before your brothers feelings [sic],” divulged another commenter.
Husband comforts anxious wife | Source: Shutterstock
“First, tell your husband so you’ll have some support and backup. Next, you need to ascertain the nature of this relationship…You’ll have to eventually fess up to your brother and what happens next will depend on the situation…The only sure thing is that your brother and SIL are almost certainly done,” quipped another netizen.
After all the advice the OP got from the commenters she decided to follow suit and tell her husband. Her husband was angry about what his son did and could not believe his ears. Then as a couple, they confronted the son and he was already aware they knew so he did not deny anything.
A couple fighting | Source: Shutterstock
He confessed that it all started at the SIL party, when they drank too much and ended up having intercourse in the bathroom. Since then they have been meeting up at hotels. The news eventually got to the brother and he took his children and left.
What are your thoughts on this story? How would you handle the situation if you were in OP’s shoes?
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