Dysfunctional families affect the quality of life of each of the members, especially the children. These troubled relationships cause chronic feelings of guilt, shame, or worthlessness, as well as attachment issues.
The teenager who shared her story on Reddit some time ago comes from such a family where the father is basically absent from his children’s lives despite living under one roof with them.
She took to the Reddit thread AITA to explain that it was her mother who took care of her and her siblings while the father wasn’t really involved in their upbringing.
One day, as he got home and left his mobile phone on the table, OP could read the message that he received at that moment which said, “last night was amazing, can’t wait to see you again” and some emojis.
After thinking about it for a short time, she decided to tell her mother that her dad was cheating on her. “She got pretty emotional which I felt bad about, and told me not to worry and that I should just worry about being a kid and let her take care of the rest, so I just let it go cause I didn’t want to hurt her more.”
One evening, the entire family gathered for dinner at OP’s grandfathers. There, her cousin shared the news that she started a new job. Everyone was pleased with the news, but then OP’s father told OP that she should be more like her cousin because she wasn’t any good according to him. But he didn’t stop there. In fact, he continued shaming OP telling her she should focus more on school and a lot more.
At one moment he mentioned that OP lacked respect for him, and that was the final straw.
At this point, OP had it enough. “Hard to respect you when you openly cheat on Mom and don’t even try to hide it,” she said in front of everyone.
The room went silent at first, but then her father started yelling both at her and her mother. The mom then took her kids and told her husband she shouldn’t be returning home.
Once home, OP started receiving text messages from her relatives who accused her of ruining the evening and the family. Her mom, however, told her “that she understood my frustration and I probably should have expressed it better privately but what’s done is done.”
Redditors were quick to comment that OP was NTA.
What are your thoughts on this?
I Came Home to My Husband and His Ex Digging My Garden – What They Hid Years Ago Made Me Pale
Margaret never expected to come home to find her husband, Martin, frantically digging up their beautiful garden alongside his ex-wife. Their hushed whispers and dirt-stained hands hinted at long-buried secrets. Upon confrontation, Margaret realized Martin wasn’t as perfect as she thought.
I’ve heard of men cheating on their wives with their colleagues, friends, and even exes, but I never thought I’d be forced to think like that about my husband, Martin. I always thought he was the perfect man I could’ve asked for.
A man smiling | Source: Midjourney
We met through a mutual friend two years ago, right after I’d broken up with my ex-boyfriend of five years. I was at my lowest… heartbroken, insecure, and questioning everything about myself.
That’s when Martin came into my life, like a breath of fresh air.
From the moment we met, he was nothing but kind and attentive. He’d listen to me ramble about my day for hours, never once checking his phone or looking bored.
A woman talking to her boyfriend | Source: Midjourney
What really won my heart was how he showed up at my doorstep with homemade chicken soup and my favorite rom-com movies downloaded on his laptop.
“Everyone needs a little TLC when they’re sick,” he said with a warm smile.
This is it, I thought. This is the man I’ve been waiting for all my life.
One of the things that endeared Martin to me was his cute little quirk. He’d stammer when he got nervous or stressed, and I found it absolutely adorable.
A man talking to his girlfriend at home | Source: Midjourney
There was this one time, about a month into our relationship, when he was taking me out to this fancy Italian restaurant for our “monthiversary” (yes, we celebrated those back then).
Martin was all dressed up, telling me about this new accounting software his firm was implementing, getting all excited and animated.
“It’s going to revolutionize how we handle client data,” he said, waving his fork around for emphasis. Suddenly, the fork slipped from his fingers, clattering to the floor and splattering tomato sauce all over his shirt.
His face turned red in an instant.
A man feeling embarrassed | Source: Midjourney
“I-I-I’m so s-sorry,” he stammered, looking mortified. “I d-didn’t m-mean to… Oh g-god, what a m-mess.”
I couldn’t help but find his flustered state endearing. I reached across the table and took his hand.
“Hey, it’s okay,” I said softly. “These things happen. Besides, red is totally your color.”
That got a chuckle out of him, and soon we were laughing about it. Later, over tiramisu, he admitted that he tended to stammer when stressed or embarrassed.
A woman talking to her boyfriend | Source: Midjourney
As our relationship progressed, Martin opened up more about his past, particularly about his ex-wife, Janet.
“She was always after more,” he’d say, shaking his head. “More money, more things, more status. Nothing was ever enough.”
According to Martin, their marriage had crumbled under the weight of Janet’s insatiable greed. He told me stories of maxed-out credit cards, arguments over designer clothes, and tantrums thrown when they couldn’t afford lavish vacations.
A man recalling his past | Source: Midjourney
“That’s why we broke up,” he explained one night as we cuddled on the couch. “I just couldn’t keep up with her demands anymore. It was like I was drowning, and she kept pushing my head underwater.”
How could anyone treat such a wonderful man so poorly? I thought.
That day, I vowed that I would never be like that. I would appreciate Martin for who he was, not what he could give me.
A man hugging his girlfriend | Source: Midjourney
When Martin proposed a year into our relationship, I didn’t hesitate to say yes. Our wedding was small but beautiful, and it was the best day of my life.
Fast forward to last Tuesday. I had just spent the weekend at my mother’s place and was looking forward to getting home. I decided to surprise Martin with his favorite lasagna for dinner.
However, as I pulled into our driveway, I saw something that made me slam on the brakes too hard.
Front view of a car | Source: Pexels
There, in our front yard, were two people digging up my beloved garden. And not just any two people. It was Martin and a woman I recognized from photos as Janet, his ex-wife.
I sat in the car for a moment, blinking rapidly, wondering if my eyes were playing tricks on me. But no, they were there, digging up all the flowers I had worked so hard to grow.
What was Janet doing here? Why was she with Martin? And why on earth were they destroying my garden?
A woman in her car, looking straight ahead | Source: Midjourney
At that point, I got out of the car and marched over to them.
“What’s going on here?” I demanded, my voice trembling with anger.
Martin’s head snapped up, his eyes wide with shock. “M-M-Margaret!” he exclaimed, dropping the shovel with a clang. “Y-you’re h-home e-early.”
He’s stammering, I thought.
At that moment, all my worst fears came rushing in. Martin only stammered when he was truly stressed or nervous. But why? What was he hiding?
A man standing outside his house | Source: Midjourney
My mind raced with possibilities. Was he cheating on me with Janet? Had they never really broken up? Or was it something even more sinister? Why else would they be digging up our yard in secret?
“W-we were just…” he started, but Janet cut him off.
“Oh, you didn’t tell her?” she began. “Love, she DESERVES to know that 10 years ago we buried a time capsule.”
“A time capsule?” I repeated numbly.
A woman talking to her husband’s ex-wife | Source: Midjourney
“Yes, we buried one when we were still together. When we lived here,” she revealed, gesturing to a muddy metal box near her feet. “We always planned to dig it up someday.”
Martin nodded, looking sheepish. “Y-yeah. We, uh, we thought it would be fun to look back on our memories.”
“Your memories,” I echoed. “So, you decided to destroy my garden for your little trip down memory lane?”
“I-I’m sorry,” Martin stammered. “I d-didn’t think—”
A man standing outside his house | Source: Midjourney
“No, you didn’t think,” I snapped before storming into the house.
Inside, I paced the living room, trying to process what had just happened. How could Martin do this? How could he keep this secret from me? And how dare he prioritize his past with Janet over our life together?
I heard the front door open and close, followed by hushed voices in the hallway. Then Martin called out, “Margaret? Can we talk?”
A woman standing in her living room | Source: Midjourney
I took a deep breath and stepped into the hallway. Martin and Janet were standing there with the muddy time capsule between them.
“What’s there to talk about?” I asked coldly.
“Please, let us explain,” Martin pleaded. “It’s not what you think.”
Janet nodded. “We just wanted to reminisce a bit. There’s nothing —”
I held up a hand, cutting her off.
“You know what? Fine. Go ahead. Reminisce. Dig up your past. I’ll be outside.”
A woman talking to her husband’s ex-wife | Source: Midjourney
I brushed past them and went outside. As I looked at the mess they had made of my garden, an idea formed in my mind.
So, I started gathering wood for a bonfire. By the time I had a good blaze going on, the sun had almost set. I could hear Martin and Janet in the kitchen, laughing over something they’d found in the time capsule.
“Hey,” I called out. “Why don’t you guys bring that stuff out here? We could have a nice little bonfire.”
A bonfire in the garden | Source: Pexels
A few minutes later, they joined me outside, and Martin put the time capsule on the ground.
“This is nice,” he smiled.
I nodded and reached into the box to grab a handful of its contents. I had a few old photos and letters in my hand.
“Margaret, what are you —” Martin started, but his words died in his throat as I tossed everything into the fire.
“What are you doing?” Janet demanded.
A woman standing with her mouth open | Source: Midjourney
“Burnt bridges should stay burnt, don’t you think?” I said firmly. “It’s time to focus less on the past and more on the future we’re supposed to be building together, Martin.”
I watched as the flames consumed their memories, thinking this wasn’t how I imagined our life together. However, it also gave me hope that maybe we could build something new from here. Something honest and real.
Looking at Martin, I also realized he wasn’t the perfect man I thought I’d married. He was just as flawed as the rest of us.
A man standing near a bonfire | Source: Midjourney
Suddenly, Janet broke the silence.
“I think I should go,” she said, backing away from the fire. Neither Martin nor I tried to stop her as she hurried out of the yard.
Once we were alone, Martin turned to me with tears in his eyes.
“Margaret, I’m so sorry,” he said. “I never meant to hurt you. I just… I didn’t know how to tell you about the time capsule.”
I took a deep breath, “Did you think I wouldn’t understand?”
A woman talking to her husband | Source: Midjourney
“I was afraid,” he admitted. “Afraid you’d think I still had feelings for Janet, afraid you’d be upset about the garden. I thought if I could just dig it up quickly while you were away, it would be over and done with. But I guess I was wrong. I messed up, big time. Can you ever forgive me?”
“I don’t know, Martin,” I said honestly, staring at the fire. “You’ve broken my trust. That’s not something that can be fixed overnight.”
A woman looking away while talking to her husband | Source: Midjourney
“We have a lot to talk about, and a lot to work through,” I continued. “But not tonight. Tonight, I need some space.”
“Of course,” Martin nodded. “I’ll… I’ll sleep on the couch.”
As he returned to the house, I remained by the fire, watching it slowly die down.
The garden needs to be replanted, I thought. New seeds, new soil, new life. Maybe our relationship could be the same way.
Only time would tell which path we’d choose. But one thing was certain, my thoughts regarding Martin would never be the same again.
A woman standing in the garden, thinking | Source: Midjourney
What would you have done if you were in my place?
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