Grandmothers often grapple with the dilemma of balancing family responsibilities with their personal well-being. Here, we delve into four real-life scenarios showcasing the complexities they face.
1. The Overbearing Rules Dilemma: Asked to babysit, one grandmother was confronted with a long list of rules from her daughter-in-law, including dietary restrictions and limited screen time. Feeling stifled and isolated, she stood her ground, refusing to comply with demands that infringed on her personal boundaries. As she asserted, “I’m not a pushover. I have rights too.”
2. Financial vs. Familial Duties: Another grandmother was tasked with caring for her newborn grandchild while her daughter returned to work. Despite financial strain, she hesitated, feeling her parenting duties had been fulfilled. Suggesting a paid arrangement, she urged her daughter to consider alternative childcare options, balancing financial constraints with her own well-being. As she explained, “I love my grandchild, but I can’t sacrifice my own well-being.”
3. The Petty Revenge: Feeling unappreciated, one grandmother playfully disrupted her grandchild’s nap, highlighting the overlooked contributions of grandparents. As she quipped, “Sometimes you have to remind them of our value.”
4. Choosing Rest Over Responsibilities: Prioritizing self-care, a 56-year-old grandmother declined to babysit during her vacation, emphasizing the need for personal time despite her daughter’s financial struggles. As she reasoned, “I need to take care of myself too, or I won’t be any good to anyone.”
These stories unveil the intricate balance grandmothers navigate between familial duties and personal needs in intergenerational relationships.
Vet reveals the shocking reason you should never hug your dog
A vet has warned how a ‘hug’ can make a dog feel, and it’s not necessarily what you would expect
A vet has warned that it could be a bad idea to ‘hug’ your dog, as it could have the opposite effect on them to what us humans feel.
There’s nothing nicer than coming home from a long day at work to your furry friend scurrying as fast as they can to the door to greet you.
Your natural reaction is usually to bend down and give them a big cuddle, and whilst it might look like they’re loving every second – it might not be what they’re really feeling.
Dog experts are now warning owners to find different ways of showing their love.
According to a vet who spoke to Psychology Today, a hug can actually make a dog feel quite anxious and trapped – this is because a dog’s primary defence is to run away.
Psychologist Stanley Coren explained: “Yes, your dog may leap into your lap and kiss your face, cuddle against your neck, and beg you to rub her belly.
“But that’s not ‘hugging.’
“In my experience, many dogs don’t enjoy having a human move one or two arms around their shoulders and squeeze.
“That’s the hug we are talking about.”
Behaviour Vets author Lauren Novack believes dogs who do enjoy hugs are a complete ‘exception’, reports Daily Paws.
She said: “When dogs don’t like something and politely ask for space over and over again to no avail, they’re likely to escalate their communication to growling or biting.
“I don’t want dogs to be stressed, and I don’t want humans to get bitten. For most dogs, hugs are stressful.”
Stanley previously analysed 250 photos of dogs being given hugs, and he found that in 80% of the images, the dogs showed signs of looking stressed.
And he noted that this can be indicated by a dog lowers their ears, closing their eyes, or turning away from the source of anxiety.
And the psychologist has now revealed some much better alternatives.
He said: “The clear recommendation to come out of this research is to save your hugs for your two-footed family members and lovers.
“It is clearly better from the dog’s point of view if you express your fondness for your pet with a pat, a kind word, and maybe a treat.”
And the last thing we want to do is upset our furry babies, so we’re definitely going to take this advice on board!
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