My adopted children got a letter from their birth mother the day before my 86th birthday. Instead of celebrating with me, they decided to meet her. What they learned was shocking and changed everything.
“Mom, I know you and Dad gave us so much love, but I can’t lie. I’m curious about this woman,” my daughter Emily said over the phone. I thought she was calling to confirm plans for my birthday, but she had something serious to tell me. I didn’t realize how much I wasn’t ready for it.
Many years ago, my husband Kevin and I wanted children, but after trying for so long, nothing happened. It broke my heart, especially since I felt like I wasn’t enough. Kevin also had fertility issues, but I couldn’t stop worrying about it.
When we were almost 40, we applied to adopt, and a pregnant teenager chose us. We were so happy! We were open to letting her stay involved, but she preferred a closed adoption. We respected her wishes.
Soon after, we discovered she was having twins—a boy and a girl! Without hesitation, we adopted them both, named them Emily and Ethan, and gave them all the love we could.
We were in our 40s, financially secure, and ran a business that gave us plenty of time to spend with our kids. It was challenging at times, but we wouldn’t change anything.
Kevin and I adored watching our babies sleep, and Kevin would often say, “This was the best decision we ever made.” I would smile back, my heart full of love.
Emily grew up loving sports, especially basketball, and earned a scholarship to UCLA. Ethan, on the other hand, was brilliant, excelling in school and math. He got into Stanford, and although it was hard to see him go, we were so proud.
Life went on, and they got married and had children of their own. But when Kevin passed away when we were 80, I was devastated. Luckily, Emily and her husband Richard, and Ethan and his wife Susan, supported me through it all.
One day, Emily told me, “Mom, we’ll always be here for you. I want my kids to have a happy grandma who bakes cookies!” That made me smile through my grief.
But then Emily’s phone call changed everything.
“But honey, it’s my birthday tomorrow,” I said, surprised that Emily and Ethan weren’t coming. My health hadn’t been great, and I was hoping to see my family. Emily’s silence told me something was wrong.
“Mom, we got a letter from a woman claiming to be our birth mother,” Emily revealed. She wanted to meet us tomorrow. I was shocked.
The adoption had been closed, so this was completely unexpected. Emily sounded upset, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of me or the situation.
“I didn’t think it mattered,” I tried to explain, my voice trembling. “I can tell you everything now. But why on my birthday?”
“Mom, she doesn’t live in Pasadena anymore, and Ethan and I are mad you didn’t tell us. We need time to think.”
My heart sank. “Please come over tonight, and we can talk it out.” But Emily needed time. She promised to call later, but her voice was choked with emotion. I could hear her crying.
The next day was my birthday, but I didn’t hear from my kids. It was heartbreaking. Friends and cousins sent birthday greetings, but nothing from Emily or Ethan.
I wondered if they had already met their birth mother. I felt abandoned and unsure if they were angry with me.
Just as I was about to go to bed, the doorbell rang.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” my family shouted. Emily and Ethan stood at the door with a cake. I couldn’t believe it. They had come after all!
We hugged, and tears filled my eyes. I was so relieved and happy. We celebrated together, and the kids brought food, gifts, and joy to my home. But Emily pulled me aside to talk privately.
“Mom, you don’t have to apologize for anything,” she told me. Ethan agreed, explaining that they felt conflicted and needed time to process everything. I was grateful for their words, but I had to ask about their birth mother.
Emily sighed and told me, “It didn’t go well. We don’t trust her.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“She talked about herself for hours,” Emily explained. “She didn’t seem interested in getting to know us, just her accomplishments.”
Ethan added, “And then she told us she’s sick, and it seemed like she just wanted something from us.”
They didn’t feel like she had been looking for them for years as she claimed. It was all about what she needed from them.
“I don’t think I want to talk to her again,” Ethan said.
Emily, however, was conflicted. But then she looked at me and said, “You’re my mom. You’ve always been my only mom.”
Tears filled my eyes again, and we hugged. Even Ethan, who was usually so serious, was emotional.
“A mother is the one who raises you, not the one who gives birth to you,” Ethan added.
At that moment, I knew that everything would be alright. Their love for me was strong, and I was still their mom.
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Emily’s words warmed my heart like nothing else could. “You’re my mom. You’ve always been my only mom.” For a moment, time stood still, and all the confusion and fear I had been carrying dissolved into the embrace of my children. I held them close, their warmth reminding me of all the years we had shared, all the laughter, all the tears. Nothing could erase that.
As we stood there, huddled together, I realized that this was the moment I had feared for so long. When they were children, I had often wondered whether there would come a day when they’d want to seek out their birth mother, and how that would affect our relationship. But here we were, and they were still mine.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier,” I said softly, brushing the tears from my cheeks. “I just never wanted you to feel different or unloved. I wanted you to know that you were my children, no matter what.”
Ethan, ever the logical one, squeezed my hand. “Mom, we know that now. It was confusing at first, but the more we thought about it, the more we realized that nothing could change the bond we have with you.”
Emily nodded, wiping her eyes. “Yeah, and meeting Amanda—it put things into perspective. She may have given birth to us, but she wasn’t there for the scraped knees, the late-night talks, or the big moments in our lives. You were. You are our mother.”
I looked at both of them, their grown faces reflecting the same expressions I had seen since they were children—so much love, even when they were upset or unsure. They were the best parts of me and Kevin, the family we had built together.
“You know,” I began, trying to gather my thoughts. “There was a time when I worried about what would happen if you ever found out. I wondered if it would change how you saw me. But now I see that it didn’t matter. You’ve always been mine, and I’ve always been yours.”
Emily wrapped her arms around me again. “It didn’t change anything. If anything, it just made us appreciate you more. You didn’t have to take us in, but you did, and you gave us the best life. That means more than anything.”
“I’m just sorry you had to go through all this on your birthday,” Ethan added, looking apologetic. “We didn’t mean to hurt you, Mom. We just needed to figure things out.”
I smiled softly, shaking my head. “You did what you needed to do. I understand. And honestly, the fact that you’re here now—well, it’s the best birthday gift I could’ve ever asked for.”
We stood there for a few more moments, just holding on to each other, before Emily spoke again. “There’s something else,” she said, her voice tentative.
I looked at her, unsure of what else could come after everything that had happened. “What is it, honey?”
“We talked about it, Ethan and I, and… we don’t think we’re going to have any more contact with Amanda,” she admitted. “After everything she said, we realized that her motives weren’t pure. She didn’t reach out because she wanted to be part of our lives. She just wanted something from us.”
Ethan nodded in agreement. “It felt more like a transaction to her. She barely asked about us, Mom. It was all about her. We left that meeting feeling used, not reunited.”
My heart ached for them. I had worried that meeting Amanda would cause them pain, and it had. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” I said, pulling them close again. “You deserved better.”
“We have better,” Emily replied, her voice filled with conviction. “We have you.”
I smiled, but there was still something bothering me. “I don’t want to tell you what to do, but… if you ever want to know more about your birth mother, or if you change your mind and want to explore that relationship, I won’t hold it against you. You deserve to know your full story, whatever that means.”
Emily and Ethan exchanged a glance before Ethan spoke up. “We’ve talked about that too, and maybe someday we’ll want to know more. But right now, we’re happy with the life we’ve built—with you. We’re not ready to bring Amanda into our lives, especially after everything that happened.”
Emily added, “We realized something important after meeting her: family isn’t just about blood. It’s about love and the time you spend together. And you gave us everything we needed. You are our family.”
I couldn’t hold back my tears any longer. Hearing them say those words—words I had hoped for but never expected to hear—was the greatest gift I could have received. They didn’t need to choose between me and Amanda. In their hearts, I had always been their mother, and nothing could change that.
“Thank you,” I whispered, my voice shaky with emotion. “Thank you for coming back to me.”
“We never left, Mom,” Ethan said, smiling gently. “We were just a little lost for a minute.”
As the night wore on, we joined the rest of the family. The grandkids were laughing and playing, the house was filled with warmth and love, and for the first time in days, I felt truly at peace. We ate, we laughed, and I opened the thoughtful gifts they had brought. But the real gift was their presence, their love, and the reassurance that we were still the close-knit family we had always been.
At one point, Emily caught my eye from across the room and smiled. “Happy birthday, Mom,” she mouthed, and I smiled back, my heart swelling with gratitude.
As I sat in my living room that night, surrounded by my family, I realized that no matter what happened in the future, this moment was everything. My children knew who their real mother was, and I knew that I had done my best by them. There were no more secrets, no more worries about what could be. Just the knowledge that love—real, unconditional love—was what held us all together.
And as I blew out my birthday candles, I made a wish. Not for anything new or different, but for more moments like this. Moments filled with love, laughter, and the joy of being together. Because in the end, that’s all that truly mattered.
She was huge in the 1980s and her performances are etched in our hearts – the iconic actress is stunning at 67
Admirers all around the world wished they were the stunning Debra Winger when Naval Officer Zack Mayo snatched factory worker Paula into his arms and whisked her from her place of employment in a classic romantic tale.
The iconic moment from the romance drama An Officer and a Gentleman, in which Richard Gere portrayed the dashing hero in navy whites, Officer Zack Mayo, became the standard for romantic tales for daydreamers.
Acting beside some of the sexiest men in Hollywood made Debra Winger the envy of many.
Winger, who is 67 years old, is still stunning today. Winger has shared pictures of herself on Instagram throughout the last few years; initially, she had brown hair, but now it is a naturally wavy gray.
Winger played Drusilla, the younger sister of Lynda Carter’s Diana Prince/Wonder Woman, in the popular TV series Wonder Woman (1979). Her first major role came in the 1976 film Slumber Party ’57. Winger was requested to make more appearances, but she declined out of fear that the role would mold her into a certain mold.
The emerging star would have a lucrative early 1980s and had no regrets about that choice.
She was nominated for multiple Academy Awards and Golden Globes during the peak of her early career for her roles in three classic 1980s films.
She costarred with John Travolta in Urban Cowboy in 1980; at the time, he was making fans go crazy with his slick dance moves in Saturday Night Fever (1977) and Grease (1988); she also played Emma in Terms of Endearment (1983), where she played a dying young woman with an overbearing mother named Aurora, played by Shirley MacLaine, and as Paula in An Officer and a Gentleman (1982).
Despite her enormous success, Winger took a brief break from acting to focus on other projects. Over forty years after her ascent to fame, rumors about her departure persist.
The majority of these rumors center on Winger’s conflicts with her co-stars.
Despite the fact that Winger reportedly had enough of the attractive Gere on the set, fans couldn’t get enough of him.
As stated in a passage from co-star Louis Gossett Jr.’s book “An Actor and a Gentleman,” which ABC News published, “The onscreen chemistry between the two of them was terrific, but it was a different story once the camera was turned off.” They were too close to one another to have remained apart.
Additionally, according to Gossett, Winger didn’t think highly of Gere’s acting and once called him “a brick wall.” She also called Taylor Hackford, the film’s director, who she did not like, “animal.”
Not just the characters in the movie bothered her.
MacLaine was a gorgeous, quirky, and seasoned veteran who contrasted with Winger, who was a free spirit both in real life and in her part as Emma.
Their romance began with that first meeting.
In a People interview, MacLaine stated, “I was wearing all my leftover movie-star fur coats to see how my character would feel.” “Debra was there, wearing a miniskirt and combat boots.I exclaimed, “Oh my goodness.”
According to People, “In fact, the set turned into the origin of Hollywood’s most cherished rumors.” Winger desired first place. It was said that one slugged the other.
Subsequently, the two women faced off at the Oscars after receiving nominations for best actress.
“I deserve this,” MacLaine declared in her acceptance speech as she took the award home.
Despite the rumors, Winger maintains that she “pushed the pause button” on Hollywood for private, not for work-related, reasons.
“I didn’t care for the parts that were about to happen. That was something I had already done or experienced. I required a challenge. I totally embraced the challenge that my life presented to me, Winger said to People.
MacLaine was a gorgeous, quirky, and seasoned veteran who contrasted with Winger, who was a free spirit both in real life and in her part as Emma.
Their romance began with that first meeting.
In a People interview, MacLaine stated, “I was wearing all my leftover movie-star fur coats to see how my character would feel.” “Debra was there, wearing a miniskirt and combat boots.I exclaimed, “Oh my goodness.”
According to People, “In fact, the set turned into the origin of Hollywood’s most cherished rumors.” Winger desired first place. It was said that one slugged the other.
Subsequently, the two women faced off at the Oscars after receiving nominations for best actress.
“I deserve this,” MacLaine declared in her acceptance speech as she took the award home.
Despite the rumors, Winger maintains that she “pushed the pause button” on Hollywood for private, not for work-related, reasons.
“I didn’t care for the parts that were about to happen. That was something I had already done or experienced. I required a challenge. I totally embraced the challenge that my life presented to me, Winger said to People.
We can’t imagine a Hollywood without Debra Winger and we hope she soon gets to take home an Academy Award! What are your favorite Winger movies?
Acting alongside Hollywood’s hottest men, Debra Winger was the envy of many.
Today, Winger, 67, is as beautiful as ever. In the past few years, Winger has posted photos herself on Instagram, first with brown hair and now to a natural wavy gray.
Winger’s first starring role was in the 1976 film Slumber Party ‘57, which led to a part on the hit TV series Wonder Woman (1979), where she played Drusilla, the younger sister to Lynda Carter’s Diana Prince/Wonder Woman. Winger was asked to appear more often but concerned she’d be typecast by that role, she declined.
There were no regrets for that decision, the early ‘80s would be prosperous for the rising star.
At the height of her young career, she received numerous nods from the Academy and Golden Globes for performances in three iconic movies of the 1980’s.
In 1980, she starred in Urban Cowboy, with John Travolta, who at the time was driving fans wild with his smooth dance moves in Saturday Night Fever (1977) and Grease (1988); as Paula in An Officer and a Gentleman (1982) and in Terms of Endearment (1983), where she played Emma, a dying young woman with an over-bearing mother, Aurora, played by Shirley MacLaine.
Despite her huge success, Winger, carving hours from her acting schedule, took a mini Hollywood hiatus, and more than four decades after her rise to stardom, speculation of why she left is still circulating.
Most of these rumours revolve around the feuds that Winger had with her co-stars.
Though fans couldn’t get enough of the handsome Gere, it’s been widely reported that Winger had enough of him on the set.
According to an excerpt published on ABC News from the book, “An Actor and a Gentleman,” by co-star, Louis Gossett Jr., who played Sgt. Emil Foley: “The onscreen chemistry between the two of them was terrific, but it was a different story once the camera was turned off. They couldn’t have stayed farther apart from each other.”
Gossett also claims that Winger didn’t think much of Gere’s acting and wrote that she once described Gere as “a brick wall.” And, the film’s director, Taylor Hackford, whom she also did not like, she referred to as “animal.”
It wasn’t only people on that film that ruffled her feathers.
Winger, a free spirit in real life and in her role as Emma, also clashed with the prolific MacLaine, a glamorous, eccentric and seasoned veteran.
Their first meeting set the stage for their relationship.
“To see how my character would feel I was wearing all my leftover movie-star fur coats,” MacLaine said in an interview with People. “There was Debra dressed in combat boots and a miniskirt…I thought, ‘Oh my goodness.’”
People writes, “Indeed, the set became the source of Hollywood’s most relished rumors. Winger wanted top billing. One reportedly slugged the other.”
And then, the women were pitted against each other in the Oscars when they were both nominated for best actress.
MacLaine, taking the trophy home, said in her acceptance speech, “I deserve this!”
Rumors aside, Winger insists she “pushed the pause button” on Hollywood for personal reasons and not professional.
“The parts that were coming, I wasn’t interested in. I’d already done that or I’d already felt that. I needed to be challenged. My life challenged me more than the parts, so I dove into it fully,” Winger told People.
After starring in the 1995 romcom Forget Paris with Billy Crystal, Winger took a six-year break.
In that time, she moved to New York City and shifted her focus to actor Arliss Howard, whom she married in 1996. The pair have a son, Gideon Babe, who was born in 1997, and she is stepmother to Sam, Howard’s son from a previous marriage. She also has another biological child, Noah Hutton, whom she mothered while married to her first husband, Timothy Hutton (1986 to 1990).
She reappeared in the 2001 film Big Bad Love, that was directed and produced by her husband, who also co-starred alongside Winger and Rosanna Arquette, who’s next project was 2002 film Searching for Debra Winger. As director of the documentary, Arquette attempts to answer why Winger temporarily abandoned her career at peak performance.
Winger gained some momentum with roles in Rachel Getting Married (2008) with Anne Hathaway, the 2017 romcom The Lovers, and the crime-comedy, Kajillionaire (2020).
In 2021, she was in With/In, Volume two of the anthological drama film, in the segment Her Own, which is written and directed by her husband, who also co-stars.
“I don’t know what Hollywood is. I’m living under the freaking sign now, and I just stare at it and laugh. Los Angeles is a place, but the idea of Hollywood doesn’t really exist for me,” Winger said, adding, “…although there must be some in-crowds that I just don’t know about.”
Without Debra Winger, we couldn’t imagine Hollywood, and we hope she wins an Oscar soon! Which Winger films are your favorites?
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