I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along.Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
Entitled Neighbor Vandalized My Sick Grandpa’s Car – I Taught Her to Mind Her Own Business
When I saw the cruel message scrawled on my recovering grandpa’s dusty car, I was livid. But uncovering the culprit’s identity was just the beginning. What I did next would teach this entitled neighbor a lesson she’d never forget.
Two months ago, I was at work when my phone rang. It was Mom.
“Meg, it’s Grandpa,” she barely managed to speak. “He’s in the hospital. He—”
“What? Hospital?” I cut her off, totally blindsided. “What happened?”
A woman talking on the phone at work | Source: Pexels
“He had a heart attack,” Mom continued in her shaky voice. “We gotta go see him.”
“Oh my God, Mom, is he okay?”
“I don’t know, Meg…”
“I’ll be there as fast as I can, Mom,” I replied as I quickly logged out of my work email.
The thing is, Grandpa Alvin is my rock, my confidant, and my favorite person in the world. It won’t be wrong to say that I love him more than Mom. Shh! It’s a secret!
An older man standing in his house | Source: Midjourney
And that phone call from Mom had turned my world upside down. I could literally feel a knot in my stomach as I rushed out of my office after informing my boss about Grandpa’s condition.
The drive home from my workplace is a blur. I don’t remember how I got there, but I quickly picked Mom up before we rushed to the hospital.
The drive from our house to the hospital was about 45 minutes long. And let me tell you, those were the longest, most painful 45 minutes of my life. Mom kept crying the entire time, while I could feel my heart pounding inside my chest.
Once we reached there, a nurse told us that Grandpa was in the operating room. After what felt like an eternity, the doctor came out.
A close-up shot of a doctor’s arms crossed on his chest | Source: Pexels
“The surgery was successful, but he needs rest and care,” he told us. “He needs to eat a heart-healthy diet, low in salt and saturated fats. Regular, gentle exercise is crucial. And absolutely no stress.”
“Alright, doc,” I nodded. “But when can we see him?”
“Is he really okay?” Mom asked impatiently.
“Don’t worry,” the doctor reassured her. “He’s resting comfortably now. The nurses will let you know when it’s a good time to visit.”
A doctor talking to a woman | Source: Midjourney
Grandpa was allowed to go home a few days later, but there was a problem. He lives in another town, and we couldn’t visit him every day to look after him.
As a result, we hired a full-time nurse.
She was a godsend, agreeing to cook for him too. For two months, Grandpa didn’t leave his apartment and focused solely on his recovery.
Last week, I realized it had been too long since I’d seen him.
A woman sitting on a chair, thinking | Source: Midjourney
“Mom,” I said over breakfast, “I’m going to visit Grandpa this weekend. Wanna come?”
Her eyes lit up.
“That’s a wonderful idea, honey,” she smiled. “I’ll come with you. He’ll be so happy to see us!”
“Perfect!” I said before I took a bite of my scrambled eggs.
On Saturday, I woke up early, bought a bouquet of Grandpa’s favorite bright yellow sunflowers, and drove all the way to his place with Mom.
I couldn’t wait to meet him and see his face light up. I was expecting a day full of Grandpa’s stories, unaware of what was waiting for us there.
As we pulled into the parking lot of his apartment complex, I spotted his old, beat-up car. It was covered with a thick layer of dust, clearly proving he hadn’t driven it since getting sick.
But as we got closer, something made my blood boil.
A woman in a car | Source: Midjourney
Someone had left a message on the rear windscreen. It seemed like they had written it using their finger. It looked fresh.
The message read, “YOU ARE A DIRTY PIG! CLEAN UP YOUR CAR OR GET OUT OF THE COMMUNITY. SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!”
I was absolutely furious. How could someone be so cruel to an old man who’s been too sick to even get out of bed, let alone clean his car?
A woman in a car, looking angry | Source: Midjourney
“Oh my God,” Mom gasped. “Who would do such a thing?”
I clenched my fists. I could feel my cheeks burn with rage.
“Some entitled jerk with nothing better to do than harass a sick old man, that’s who.”
Then, I felt Mom’s soft hand on my arm.
“Honey, calm down,” she said. “Let’s not upset your grandfather.”
I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself.
“You’re right. Let’s go see him.”
A parking lot of an apartment complex | Source: Pexels
We quickly headed up to Grandpa’s apartment. I rang the bell, waiting for him to open the door.
“My girls!” he smiled from ear to ear. “What a wonderful surprise!”
“Grandpa!” I hugged him tight. “You look so good! So handsome!”
“Well, of course I do!” he chuckled. “When have I ever not looked handsome? Even in my hospital gown, I was turning heads left and right!”
An older man in his house, smiling | Source: Midjourney
As we headed inside, I couldn’t stop thinking of the cruel message on his car. I couldn’t erase that image from my mind.
“Megan? Are you listening, sweetheart?” Grandpa’s voice snapped me back to reality.
“Sorry, Grandpa. I was just… thinking. How are you feeling?”
We chatted for a while, but my mind kept drifting to that message. I needed to do something about it.
“Hey, I need to take care of something real quick,” I said, standing up. “Mom, can you stay with Grandpa? I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
A woman talking to her mother | Source: Midjourney
“Sure, honey,” Mom said.
In no time, I headed down to the security office near the entrance, where I met a bored-looking guy sitting behind the desk.
“Excuse me,” I said. “I need to see the security camera footage from the parking lot.”
He raised an eyebrow as he straightened his back.
“Sorry, ma’am. We can’t just show that to anyone who asks.”
A security guard | Source: Midjourney
I leaned in, lowering my voice.
“Look, my grandfather lives here. He’s been very ill, and someone vandalized his car with a horrible message. I need to know who did it.”
The guard hesitated, then nodded.
“Alright, just this once.”
We reviewed the footage from the last few days when I suddenly saw an older, snooty-looking woman, heading towards Grandpa’s car. She took her sweet time to write that awful message on his car.
An older woman standing near a black car | Source: Midjourney
“Who is this?” I asked the guard.
“That’s Briana from 4C,” he said. “Always causing trouble.”
I thanked him and turned to leave, but he stopped me.
“Wait, there’s something else. I overheard some of the neighbors talking in the lobby last week. Apparently, this Briana woman has been giving your grandfather a hard time for months now.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
He scratched his chin thoughtfully.
A security guard talking to a woman | Source: Midjourney
“Well, they were saying she’s been complaining about every little thing. Like, she’d make a fuss if his newspaper was left out too long, or if his welcome mat wasn’t perfectly straight. One of the ladies even mentioned that Briana tried to get your grandpa fined for having a potted plant that was ‘an unapproved color’ or something ridiculous like that.”
“Are you serious? Why hasn’t anyone done anything about this?”
“Most folks just try to avoid her, I guess,” he shrugged.
“Your grandpa’s too nice to make a big deal out of it. But between you and me, I think everyone’s getting pretty fed up with her attitude.”
Yeah, my grandpa’s nice, but I’m not, I thought to myself before marching straight to Briana’s apartment.
The door opened soon after I knocked on it.
“Can I help you?” she asked.
“I’m Alvin’s granddaughter,” I said, struggling to keep my voice steady. “I saw what you wrote on his car. You have no right to humiliate him like that!”
A young woman talking to her grandfather’s neighbor | Source: Midjourney
“I don’t care,” she shrugged. “If he can’t keep up with community standards, maybe he shouldn’t be living here.”
And with that, she slammed the door in my face.
I was livid. It was clear that talking to her wasn’t going to get anywhere, so I decided to handle it my own way. I came up with a plan to teach her a lesson. All I needed was a roll of duct tape and a paper with evidence.
A woman leaving a building | Source: Midjourney
The next day, I took a screenshot of the security camera footage, ensuring Briana’s face was clear, and got it printed. Then, in big, bold letters, I wrote: “SHAME! SHAME! SHAME! Lady from Apt 4C is abusing elderly neighbors.”
I taped that sign right in the elevator where everyone would see it. It was crystal clear who she was and what she’d done.
Within a day, the whole building was buzzing.
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