As I trudged home, my mind cluttered with work stress, a venomous shout pierced through the city’s hum. In a park, a man viciously berated his tearful wife while bystanders did nothing. Driven by anger, I knew I had to stop the abuse.
You ever have one of those days where everything feels like it’s piling up? Yeah, that was me, walking home from work on a Tuesday evening. Deadlines looming over my head for the new marketing campaign, my boss breathing down my neck about the quarterly report—life was a grind, and I was feeling every bit of it.
I couldn’t wait to get home to my wife and kids, to shed the stress of the day, and immerse myself in the comfort of family.
I could already imagine the scent of my wife’s cooking, and the excited yelps and yells of my three kids as they chased each other around the yard. The eldest boy was getting a little old for such games now, but he indulged his younger siblings.
I heaved a sigh as I looked up at the city skyline. The sun was setting, casting long, dramatic shadows over the bustling streets. Kind of beautiful, if you stopped to think about it. But who has time for that when you’ve got a million things on your mind?
I was halfway home, thinking about the mountain of work waiting for me after dinner. I felt a prickle of guilt as I pictured my wife’s disappointed frown.
She hated it when I brought work home with me, but what else could I do? There wasn’t enough time during the day and my boss was a dragon. If I didn’t keep up with my workload… A loud, angry voice that sliced through the usual city noise distracted me from my depressing thoughts
It wasn’t just some random shouting—this was the kind of venom that makes you stop in your tracks.
I followed the sound, curiosity and a bit of dread tugging at me, until I found the source in a small park. There, under an old oak tree, was a scene straight out of a nightmare.
A man was standing near a bench, absolutely berating a woman. She stood before him, her face hidden by her hair as she hung her head. Even from a distance, I could see she was shaking.
I was filled with outrage as I marched across the street to the park. Just as I drew closer, the man’s voice cut through the city noise once more.
His voice was harsh, full of anger, and his gestures were wild and aggressive.
“You’re useless! Can’t you do anything right?” he shouted, his face inches from hers. “Everything that’s wrong in my life is because of you! I should’ve never married you. You’re pathetic!”
The woman flinched at his harsh tone, further fueling my own anger. How could anyone treat their partner like this? It made no sense to me, but as I watched him reach out to her, I knew I couldn’t let this spectacle continue.
His arm swung out, knocking her purse to the ground. The contents scattered, but she just stood there, head bowed, tears streaming down her face, her body trembling. It was gut-wrenching.
And I wasn’t the only witness. The usual crowd of people heading home from work or out to have fun walked by, casting disapproving glances but doing nothing to intervene.
Typical, right? Everyone knows something bad is happening, but nobody wants to get caught up in it.
“Look at me when I’m talking to you!” he yelled, grabbing her arm roughly.
“You think anyone else would put up with a worthless thing like you? Think again!”
That was it. My blood boiled. I could feel the anger rising in me, a burning need to do something.
I pulled out my phone and dialed 911, but then the man shoved her. Without even thinking about it, I switched from my phone to my camera and started recording everything.
The video started just as she fell. I captured the moment he kicked dirt at her, and the horrible names he screeched while doing it.
I also moved closer, ensuring I got a clear shot of his face and the woman’s distress. It was all valuable evidence, but it wasn’t enough. I had to divert his attention before he hurt her.
“Hey, you!” I yelled. “Smile for the camera.”
The guy whirled around. He froze for a moment, watching me like he couldn’t figure out what I was doing. The moment it clicked, he turned his fury toward me.
“What the hell are you doing?” he snarled, marching over, his face twisted with rage.
“Documenting your behavior,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “This kind of abuse can’t go unchecked.”
He paused, realizing what this meant. For a split second, I saw fear flash in his eyes. Then, he lunged at me.
I stepped back, keeping my phone out of his reach. “Touch me, and I’ll make sure the police see this,” I warned. “Do you really want this video going viral?”
By this point, others had started to notice. Phones came out, people began recording from different angles.
The abuser looked around, realizing he was surrounded by witnesses. His bravado started to crumble.
“You people have no right to stick your noses into my private affairs,” he yelled, shaking his fist at the crowd.
“You have no right treating this woman like this,” I retorted. “Whatever shame you feel is your own making.”
He rounded on me then and for a moment; I was certain he would tackle me. I was caught completely off guard when he turned and marched back to the woman instead.
She stared up at him in terror. I moved closer, ready to jump in if he tried to hurt her.
He snatched up her purse and dropped it near her feet. “I’m sorry honey, okay? Now get your stuff and let’s get out of here.”
He held out his hand to her, and the woman flinched. He then reached to grab her, but myself, and several other bystanders yelled at him to get away from her. The man looked around at all of us and hunched his shoulders.
“Fine,” he snapped.
He turned and shouldered his way through the crowd, his tail between his legs.
I hurried up to the woman and crouched nearby. “Are you okay, ma’am?”
The woman looked up at me, her eyes glistening with tears of relief and gratitude. “I think so. Thank you,” she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. “I didn’t know what to do.”
“Well, ma’am, I’ve probably interfered in your life enough for one day, but you can’t carry on living like this. I don’t know your story, but if your husband treats you like this in a public space…” I let out a deep sigh as I contemplated my next words.
“I’m concerned for your safety,” I eventually added. “And I want you to know that you’re not alone, okay? There are people out there who care, people who can help you. You deserve better than that.”
A few bystanders started to gather around us, offering words of support and solidarity. It was heartening to see, after the initial apathy. One older woman with kind, wise eyes approached and held out a business card.
“I’m a lawyer, ma’am,” she said, her voice calm and reassuring. “If that man gives you any more trouble, I want you to contact me immediately.”
The woman burst into tears as she took the card and clutched it against her chest.
“Thank you,” she said between sobs.
The woman nodded, her expression firm and determined. “I already called the police and they should be here any minute, okay? I’m going to stay with you until this is all cleared up.”
The woman nodded.
When I finally got home, I felt an odd mix of adrenaline and exhaustion. My hands were still slightly shaking as I uploaded the video to social media, hoping it would inspire others to take a stand against abuse.
The response was overwhelming. Within hours, the video had gone viral. It drew attention from local news outlets and sparked a widespread conversation about public intervention in cases of domestic violence.
Comments and messages of support flooded in, praising my bravery and condemning the abuser’s actions.
A few days later, I received a message from the woman I had helped. She told me she had found the courage to leave her abusive husband and was now staying with friends, getting the support she needed to start a new life.
She thanked me for my intervention and shared her plans to seek legal action with the help of the lawyer who had offered her assistance. Reading her words, I felt a profound sense of relief and accomplishment.
Reflecting on the whole experience, I couldn’t help but feel proud. My actions had not only helped that woman escape a terrible situation but had also reminded everyone present that they have the power to make a difference.
It was a powerful realization, one that I hoped would inspire others to act when they saw someone in need.
When I told my family about what had happened, their reactions filled me with warmth. My three kids looked at me with wide eyes, admiration shining in their expressions.
My wife, always my rock, hugged me tightly.
“I’m so proud of you,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. “You showed everyone what it means to stand up for what’s right.”
As I sat with my family that evening, I felt a deep sense of fulfillment. The incident had reinforced the values I wanted to pass on to my children: courage, compassion, and the importance of standing up for others.
Life is full of moments that test our character, and this one had shown me just how impactful individual actions can be.
In the end, that Tuesday evening wasn’t just another day. It was a turning point, a moment that reminded me—and hopefully others—that we all have the power to make a difference, no matter how small our actions might seem.
And sometimes, those small actions can change someone’s life forever.
How to Own Your Dream Home
For most people, their first home isn’t their dream home. It starts off nice enough. But as time goes by and your family grows, starter homes tend to get a little . . . cramped.
But don’t hate on your current home too much. Because while it gave you a safe and dry place to lay your head at night, it was also setting you up to own your dream home someday.
We’ll show you how it all works and walk you through the steps that’ll get you in your dream home—one you can actually afford!
How to Get Your Dream Home in 5 Steps
Here are the steps:
- Follow the Financial Basics
- Find Out How Much Equity You Have
- Set Your New Home-Buying Budget
- Find the Right Dream Home for You
- Be Picky and Patient
Now let’s cover each step in more detail.
Step 1: Follow the Financial Basics
First thing’s first—you have to get out of debt, get on a budget, and build up an emergency fund of 3–6 months of expenses. Sounds pretty basic, right? If you haven’t completed these steps, then you’re not ready to upgrade to your dream home . . . yet.
Now, when you’ve got house fever, it can be hard to focus on paying off debt or saving an emergency fund before you upgrade your home—especially when you’re feeling the pressure of rising home prices and interest rates.
But whether it’s your second or third house, you should only buy a home when you’ve covered the financial basics we mentioned above. Then you’ll be ready to start the journey toward owning your dream house.
And that journey starts with your home equity. What’s equity? Well, we’re glad you asked . . . that brings us to the next step.
Step 2: Find Out How Much Equity You Have
Home equity is a pretty simple concept: It’s your current home’s value minus whatever you still owe on your mortgage.
See, in most cases, your home’s value increases over time. Similar to other long-term investments (like retirement accounts), homes gradually increase in value. There have been periods of ups and downs in the market to be sure, but the value of real estate has consistently gone up. According to the St. Louis Federal Reserve, the average sale price of a home has increased over 2,300% from 1965 to 2023! And in the last ten years (2013 to 2023), there’s been a 68% increase.1 As your home increases in value, so does your equity. In real estate terms, this is called appreciation.
Other factors that increase your home’s equity include:
- Added value: Home improvement projects like adding square footage, updating fixtures and appliances, or even just slapping on a new coat of paint can add value to your home.
- Mortgage paydown: Paying down your mortgage not only gets you out of debt faster, it also builds your equity. The less you owe on your home, the more equity you have.
The amount of equity you have gives you a pretty good idea of how much money you’ll end up with after selling your house. You can use that money to make a hefty down payment and cover the other costs that come with buying a home.
Find expert agents to help you buy your home.
So, how do you determine your home’s value? Well, you can get a ballpark estimate on real estate websites like Zillow, ask a trusted real estate agent to perform a competitive market analysis (which they’ll do anyway if they’re helping you sell your house), or get a professional appraisal.
Finding out your home’s equity will involve a little math, but it’s third-grade-level stuff, so don’t sweat it.
Here’s what we mean. Let’s say your home’s current value is $355,000. When you sell that house, you’ll have to pay for between 1–3% of the sale price in closing costs, another 6% in fees for the real estate agent who helped you sell it, and whatever’s left to pay off on your mortgage.
That means you can estimate clearing over $223,000 from selling your house. That’s a killer down payment on your dream home! And if your home is paid off, that’s even more money to put down and use to pay for things like repairs and moving expenses.
Step 3: Set Your Dream Home Budget
Once you know how much you’ll clear from the sale of your home, you can start making a budget for your dream home.
The key to owning your dream home (instead of it owning you) is to keep your mortgage payment to no more than 25% of your take-home pay on a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage, along with paying a down payment of at least 20% to avoid private mortgage insurance (PMI). Never get a 30-year mortgage even if the bank offers it (and they will). You’d pay a fortune in interest—money that should go toward building your wealth, not the bank’s.
So, let’s say your take-home pay is $4,800 a month. That means your monthly mortgage payment shouldn’t be any bigger than $1,200. By the way, that 25% figure should also include other home fees collected every month with the mortgage payment like homeowners association (HOA) fees, insurance premiums and property taxes.
Plug your numbers into our mortgage calculator to see how much house you can afford.
And don’t forget to budget for all those other costs that come with the home-buying process in addition to your closing fees—things like moving expenses and any upgrades or repairs you might need to make. You don’t want these hidden costs to catch you off guard or drain your emergency fund.
Step 4: Find the Right Dream Home for You
This is where things get real. After all your hard work building up your equity (and doing a lot of math—don’t forget that), you’re finally ready to start the house hunt. Woo-hoo!
But don’t lose focus. Stay zoned in by making a list of features that make a home fit your budget, lifestyle and dreams—and stick to it throughout your house hunt. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
- Don’t compromise on location and layout. If you plan to be in this home for the long haul, an out-of-the-way neighborhood or a wacky floor plan is a deal breaker. Look for a community and layout that’ll suit your lifestyle now and for years to come.
- Think about how much space your family needs. While your budget has the final say about how much home you buy, you’ll want your dream home to fit your family’s needs through different life seasons.
- Consider the school districts. If you have or want kids, the quality of the nearby school districts is probably already on your mind. But even if you don’t have kids or you’re retired, keep in mind that having good schools nearby could increase your home’s value.
- Look for a house that’ll grow in value. Are home values rising in the area? Is the number of businesses going up? These factors can help you figure out whether your dream home will turn into a good investment.
- Count the costs. Want that fancy master bathroom with the multiple showerheads and the Jacuzzi tub? Be clear on what’s a must-have and what’s nice to have. And don’t forget, upgraded features like that will make your dream home more expensive.
Step 5: Be Picky and Patient
We know you’re anxious to get into those new digs, but be patient. Wait for the right house at the right time. Don’t spend your money on a less-than-ideal home just because you’re tired of looking.
The key is finding a good real estate agent who understands your budget and refuses to settle for “good enough.” They’re as committed to your dream as you are and will have your back throughout the entire process, no matter what it takes.
In addition to teaming up with a great real estate agent, you can take a couple of extra steps to make sure you’re ready to strike as soon as the right home comes up:
- Get preapproved for a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage. Having preapproved financing is a green flag for sellers—especially in multiple offer situations. And because this puts most of your information in the lender’s system, you’ll be on the fast track to closing once your offer is accepted.
- Offer earnest money with your bid. Earnest money is a deposit to show you’re truly interested in a home. Usually it’s 1–2% of the home’s purchase price and it’s applied to your down payment or closing costs. Even if the deal falls through, you can almost always get most of it back.
Find a Real Estate Expert in Your Local Market
Now, you might be thinking you have some work to do before you’re ready to find your dream home. Or you may be realizing your years of hard work are about to pay off! Regardless, if you follow these steps, you’ll find the house you’ve always wanted and avoid a purchase you’ll regret.
Once you’re ready, connect with one of our RamseyTrusted real estate agents. These are high-performing agents who do business the Ramsey way and share your values so you can rest easy knowing the search for your dream home is in the right hands.
Find the only real estate agents in your area we trust, and start the hunt for your dream home!
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