A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
Parents were really surprised when their baby was born with a big smile on its face.
Ayla Summer Mucha startled her parents by beaming brightly when she was born in December 2021. Her parents fell in love with her right away, despite their first confusion due to an unusual illness that caused her smile to be permanent. Ayla is now well-known on social media, and her charming smile is adored by people everywhere.On December 30, 2021, Cristina Vercher and her husband Blaize Mucha were eager to finally see their newborn girl after nine months of waiting. However, unexpected news was delivered by the doctors during the C-section delivery.Due to bilateral macrostomia, Ayla Summer Mucha’s mouth did not form normally from birth.When a baby is growing inside its mother, the corners of the mouth sometimes don’t meet correctly, a condition known as a facial cleft. Just 14 cases similar to it have been documented in medical books due to its extreme rarity.Because the ultrasounds revealed no issues, Ayla’s parents were unaware of this until after she was born. They became really concerned when they noticed that she was speaking with her mouth agape. Even though Ayla was so small, the problem was evident, which startled and worried Ayla’s parents, who are now 23 and 22 respectively.”I had never met anyone born with a macrostomia, and neither Blaize nor I knew about this condition,” Adelaide’s Vercher remarked. Thus, it came as a huge surprise.Not just the parents expressed surprise.
A baby with bilateral macrostomia was beyond the capabilities of even the medical professionals.The fact that it took hours for a doctor to respond to our questions made it much more concerning. She added that the hospital was also ignorant of this uncommon ailment. “As a mother, all I could focus on was my mistakes.”However, medical professionals informed the anxious parents that there was nothing more they could have done. Cristina was concerned that she might have erred during her pregnancy or contributed to her daughter’s illness.She remarked, “I couldn’t stop wondering where I might have made a mistake as a mother.” They were convinced, nevertheless, that they had no influence over this problem and that they were not to blame following days of genetic testing and scans.The Mucha family concentrated on assisting Ayla in managing her illness, which limits her food and drink options, comfortably. Babies with this illness occasionally require surgery to become better.Ayla’s parents posted her story on social media so that people may learn more about it. Around 6.5 million users enjoyed Ayla’s adorable smile on TikTok. The amount of support that the Muchas received shocked them.”I just looked it up, and there are only 14 cases like hers that are known,” a commenter said. She is truly unique. Mom, you ought to feel proud.Regarding Ayla’s smile, another internet user stated, “She is gorgeous and just perfect the way she is.” Her smile made me smile as well.But nasty things about Ayla were said by several people online. But Ayla’s supporters swiftly came to her aid.”Your daughter is stunningly gorgeous. Never pay attention to such nasty folks. One individual remarked, “She’s like an angel.” Someone else posted, “Oh my gosh! You’re quite adorable! Pay no attention to their hurtful remarks. You’re simply too cute.”You’re a strong mom, and your daughter is beautiful,” commented another commenter. I apologize for exposing you to those hurtful remarks.Vercher said, “I think it’s important to be kind and accept everyone, no matter what,” to the hurtful remarks made about her child.If she and her child were in a similar circumstance, she hoped that people would treat them with the same respect. Vercher said that anyone could experience similar circumstances. She added that since you have no control over what other people say on social media, it can be a difficult place.Vercher ignored the criticism in favor of highlighting the encouragement and kind remarks. “We’re really proud of ourselves, so we won’t stop sharing our experiences and favorite memories,” she remarked.
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