Woman Insists Her Son Leaves His Pregnant Wife at Home for Her Birthday, but He Responds, ‘My Wife Comes First’
A man felt he had to take his wife’s side regarding a family dispute. However, his mother became angry at him for doing so, so he turned to the internet to find out if he was right.
Pregnant woman holding her lower back | Source: Shutterstock
A man took to Reddit for advice regarding his pregnant wife and his mother’s birthday. He explained that it was his mother’s birthday at the same time that his seven-month-pregnant wife was feeling uncomfortable and particularly sensitive.
The man offered to take his mother to dinner for her birthday, and she picked a place that was a 40-minute drive away. The man told his mother he didn’t want to travel that far as his wife was uncomfortable traveling long distances in a car.
Pregnant woman holding her stomach in a car | Source: Shutterstock
He also explained to his mother that his wife could eat little on the menu because it was a seafood restaurant, and his wife couldn’t eat shellfish. He then asked his mother if she would choose a nearby restaurant.
The man’s mother refused, saying the only good seafood restaurants were farther away. The man then suggested that his mother choose a different cuisine, noting that they had Mexican and Hibachi near them, which he knew his mother loved.
A seafood platter | Source: Shutterstock
The man’s mother became angry and told him his wife could stay home while they went to dinner. She found it startling that a grown woman couldn’t stay home alone for a few hours while her husband went to dinner.
After telling his mother that his wife wouldn’t be pregnant forever and asking her to work with them, his mother told him to forget about it and yelled that her birthday was not about his wife. The man responded, “My wife comes first.”
Frustrated man on the phone | Source: Shutterstock
The man also accused his mother of being selfish and childish, so she hung up the phone. This led to the man’s family telling him he was wrong and his wife crying because the whole family was upset with her for ruining her mother-in-law’s birthday.
The man asked netizens whether or not he was justified in standing up for his wife and asking his mom to change her birthday plans. He received many mixed responses from fellow Reddit users.
Angry older woman on the phone | Source: Shutterstock
One user told the man he was justified in his reaction, and they were glad he was standing up for his wife. They then asked if his mother often acted this way toward his wife, to which he responded in the affirmative. The man also said that his mother’s fiancée had taken her to the restaurant, which he found was enabling her bad behavior.
Another netizen told the man he was wrong for making it seem like the situation was his wife’s fault and said they would not have stopped their husband from going somewhere they didn’t want to go when they were pregnant. The person also noted that their husband wouldn’t have blamed it on them if he didn’t want to go somewhere.
A pregnant woman crying | Source: Shutterstock
One opinion was that the man should have told his mother he was sorry he would miss the event and let his mother feel however she felt. The person suggested offering coffee and cake at home instead of going out for dinner.
Some netizens were confused by the post, wondering why the man’s wife factored into his mother’s birthday as he didn’t say they were both treating his mother to a birthday dinner. They asked whether or not his wife didn’t want him to go anywhere while she was pregnant.
A couple eating dinner at a seafood restaurant | Source: Shutterstock
One more person said the man was wrong for inadvertently making his wife take the blame for the situation. The person clarified that they didn’t think the mother’s fiancée taking her to the restaurant was enabling but supportive.
The person also said that the man and his wife had the option of going to the restaurant and not ordering seafood, as they had often gone to seafood restaurants despite not eating seafood and had never struggled to find something on the menu that they wanted to eat.
A cup of coffee next to a slice of chocolate cake | Source: Shutterstock
The person ended their comment by saying that their judgment of the entire situation would be different if the man’s wife had a deadly allergy to seafood. The man received many other supportive comments, telling him he was right for standing up for his wife and his unborn child despite his mother’s adverse reaction.
Bride Claimed I Destroyed My Son’s Wedding Because of My Outfit Choice – Was I Really Wrong Here?
Claire just wants to be the glamorous mother-of-the-groom—but when she realizes that her daughter-in-law has her own plans for the wedding, she steps back to focus on her own outfit, only for there to be a fight between her and Alice on the big day. Alice claims that Claire has destroyed the wedding by stealing her dream dress, while Claire sees nothing wrong in her actions. Who is wrong?
All I wanted was to be the mother-of-the-groom. That’s it. I just wanted to be the doting mother who loved her son more than anything—but this is the story of how my attempt to make my son’s wedding perfect turned into a day we’d all rather forget.
When Mark introduced Alice to us, she was unlike anyone I expected him to fall for. Mark, my son, is a lawyer at a top firm—a position that he secured straight after his graduation from Stanford.
“I’m going to be a lawyer, Mom,” he told me once when he was still in high school and doing an essay on the career he wanted to get into.
“I could easily see that,” I told him, making him breakfast as he worked away.
“It’s to help fight injustices. For children, specifically,” he said, drinking his orange juice.
Mark had big dreams, and I knew that my son was always going to reach for the stars.
Alice, on the other hand, was completely different from my son. Her entire personality was light and carefree, whereas Mark was serious and brooding. Alice was a self-taught coder, who freelanced from their cozy apartment. Their worlds, their politics, their interests didn’t align.
But they made it work—and they were a sweet couple for the most part. But love, as they say, is blind.
When Mark proposed to Alice, we were all invited to the scene to help surprise her.
“Please, Mom,” Mark said on the phone. “Alice isn’t close to her family, so to see you and Dad there will be good for her. She’ll know that she’s welcomed and supported.”
“Of course, honey,” I told him, already envisioning their wedding in my head.
I swallowed my reservations and offered to pay for the wedding. James and I had put money away for Mark’s studies, but he had always gotten bursaries which paid for it all.
“We can just use that money for the wedding, Claire,” my husband said over lunch the day after the proposal.
“It’s the best thing we could do for them,” I agreed. “This way they can save up to move out of that small apartment. I know Mark’s been talking about a house with a garden because he really wants a dog.”
When we told Mark and Alice, I thought that the gesture would bring us closer. I didn’t have any daughters, so I thought that this would be my chance.
I could get to know Alice better—and that would be good for Mark, to know that his wife and his mother got along well. Instead, the wedding planning only highlighted our differences.
After a few months into the wedding planning, I met Alice at a coffee shop so that we could go over the details. But we clashed on everything.
“I think roses are timeless,” I said, helping myself to a slice of cake.
“They are, but they’re also overdone in a sense,” Alice said, sipping her tea. “Mark and I want peonies.”
Our meeting went back and forth a few times—and we were stuck in a space where we just couldn’t agree on anything.
“Okay, how about this?” I asked her. “You go ahead with everything else, and just tell me what color your bridesmaids are wearing, so that there won’t be any clashes.”
“They won’t be wearing green,” she said. “I’m leaning toward pink.”
I paid the bill and we parted ways with the wedding planning.
But then, one afternoon Alice texted me.
Hi Claire, just picking out my wedding dress with the girls! I’m so excited! I wish you were here!
Attached were photos of her five top wedding dress picks.
I knew that Alice and I were on different ends of what we thought that the wedding should look like, but I wanted to be included in the big things. I wished that she had included me in the wedding dress shopping.
“At least she’s sending you the top picks,” James said as he read the newspaper next to me.
“I know, but it’s not the same,” I said.
“Do they look good?” he asked. “Can I see them?”
Together, we scrolled through the photos of the potential dresses. They were adequate choices, but nothing stood out.
Nothing that would fit the standard of my future daughter-in-law.
The dress that was Alice’s favorite and the first contender for the actual wedding dress wasn’t what I expected.
I typed back, telling Alice that it wasn’t quite the best choice. And I hoped that my financial stake in the wedding would weigh in. James and I hadn’t given the kids a budget. They had everything at their disposal.
Why not consider the second one? It might be more flattering for you.
James chuckled beside me.
“You’re at the point of over-stepping,” he said.
Before I could say anything, my phone pinged with a message from Alice.
Sorry, but I disagree. This is the dress I’m choosing.
That night over dinner, as James was plating our salmon, I shared my frustration with him.
“Alice is not even considering my opinion, and I’m paying for the dress!” I exclaimed.
James tried to mediate; he also texted Mark to make sure that he knew how I felt, too.
“I think you should just leave the wedding planning to them now,” James said. “Put all your attention into yourself and what you’re going to wear.”
But it also turned out that Mark was able to persuade Alice to wear the dress I preferred.
I had to admit, it was the less stressful option, and I hadn’t been able to shop for my dress before that.
So, that’s what I did.
I went to a few different boutiques and eventually found my perfect dress. It was emerald green, which I knew brought out my eyes.
“That’s beautiful,” James said when I tried the dress on for him.
I had felt different. I no longer felt like the mother-of-the-groom who had been pushed aside. Instead, I felt beautiful in my own skin, my self-esteem growing every time I thought of the dress.
When the wedding week loomed upon us, James and I tried to make ourselves as present as possible. We went to all the events that Mark and Alice needed us to be at—including the rehearsal dinner where we saluted them and drank champagne to toast the festivities.
“All sorted, Mom?” Mark asked me. “Your dress and everything?”
I smiled at my son. Despite being in the middle of Alice and me, he was always checking in on me.
“Of course,” I said. “I’m ready to celebrate you and Alice.”
On the morning of the wedding, I put on my green dress and did my make up. It was everything I had wanted to look for my son’s wedding—elegant and sophisticated.
As I arrived at the venue, the air was thick with murmurs. I ignored them, thinking that everyone was just so used to me being dressed in comfortable clothing, that this was something different for them.
I went straight to the bride’s dressing room, hoping to see Alice and compliment her before she walked down the aisle.
Upon opening the door, Alice looked up—her joyful expression collapsing into one of utter devastation. She looked me up and down before bursting into tears.
“Why did you do this to me, Claire?” she sobbed, her voice choked with emotion.
Confused, I stepped into the room and closed the door.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her.
“Your dress!” she exclaimed.
“What about it?” I asked, second-guessing everything.
“It’s my dream wedding dress, just in another color,” she said, nearly shouting.
I was taken aback.
“Alice, honestly,” I said. “I didn’t realize—they look so different in color.”
But Alice wasn’t having any of it. She sat on the edge of the couch, her head in her hands.
“How could you?” she looked up and cried out. “You’ve made this day about you! Just because we didn’t take any of your suggestions!”
Mark, having heard the commotion from his dressing room next door, came rushing in.
“Mom? What’s going on here?” he asked me.
He looked from Alice to me, seeking an explanation.
Trying to calm the waters, I explained everything slowly.
“I didn’t see the resemblance, Mark,” I said. “I truly just loved the dress, and I thought—”
Alice stood up and marched toward Mark.
“No!” she exclaimed. “You thought that you’d show me what I could’ve had, but in green. Isn’t that it?”
“Mom, please,” my son said. “Let’s just try to get through the day. Please, for me.”
I agreed and left the dressing room. I just wanted to find James and sit quietly until the day was over.
I knew that Alice and I were walking a thin line, but I didn’t expect her to shout at me in the manner that she did.
Naturally, I was upset, but I didn’t want to ruin their day any further.
Reflecting now, perhaps I should have been more open to Alice’s preferences. It was her day after all, not just mine to orchestrate. The question of whether I was wrong hangs heavily over me.
Yes, in trying to enforce my vision, I might have lost sight of what was truly important—Alice’s happiness and Mark’s peace on their special day.
Was I wrong for what I did?
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