The morning sun, usually a welcome sight, cast harsh shadows on the woman standing on my porch, her face a mask of indignation. Mrs. Gable, Grandma’s “entitled neighbor,” as she so lovingly referred to her, was a force of nature, and not a particularly pleasant one.
“How long am I supposed to wait for my share of the will?!” she demanded, her voice a grating rasp that could curdle milk. “My grandkids are coming over, and I want them to take their part of the inheritance before they leave!”
I blinked, trying to process the sheer audacity of her statement. “Mrs. Gable,” I said, my voice calm despite the rising tide of annoyance, “Grandma’s will… it doesn’t mention you.”
Her eyes widened, then narrowed into slits. “Nonsense! We were like family! She wouldn’t leave me out.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, “but everything in the house now belongs to me.”
I offered a small concession. “I’ve packed some boxes for donation. You’re welcome to look through them, see if there’s anything you want.”
“Donation boxes?!” she shrieked. “Your grandma was like family to us! We had to be mentioned in the will. Give it to me! I have to see for myself.”
“I can’t do that,” I said, my patience wearing thin. “The will is a legal document.”
She planted her feet, a stubborn look on her face. “Then I’m not leaving. I’ll just stand here until you give me what’s mine.” She proceeded to stand directly in front of my porch, peering into my windows and muttering under her breath.
I sighed. This was getting ridiculous. I needed to give this woman a reality check, a gentle but firm reminder that she wasn’t entitled to anything.
I went inside, grabbed a pen and a scrap of paper, and returned to the porch. Mrs. Gable watched me, her eyes filled with suspicion.
“What’s that?” she asked, her voice laced with distrust.
“I’m writing you a bill,” I said, my voice deliberately casual.
“A bill? For what?”
“For services rendered,” I said, scribbling on the paper. “Let’s see… ‘Consultation regarding inheritance, one hour… $100.'”
Mrs. Gable’s face turned a shade of purple I didn’t think possible. “Are you serious?!”
“Perfectly,” I said, adding another line. “‘Unauthorized surveillance of private property, one hour… $50.'”
“That’s outrageous!” she sputtered.
“And,” I continued, adding a final line, “‘Emotional distress caused by unwarranted demands, one hour… $150.'” I handed her the paper. “That’ll be $300, Mrs. Gable.”
She snatched the paper from my hand, her eyes scanning the ludicrous list. “You can’t do this!”
“Actually, I can,” I said, a smile playing on my lips. “And if you don’t pay, I’ll have to add late fees.”
She crumpled the paper in her fist, her face a mask of fury. “You’re just like your grandma!” she hissed. “Entitled and selfish!”
“Perhaps,” I said, “but I’m also practical. And I value my peace of mind.”
She glared at me for a moment, then turned and stomped off the porch, muttering about lawyers and lawsuits. I watched her go, a sense of satisfaction washing over me.
Later that day, as I sorted through Grandma’s belongings, I found a small, velvet-lined box tucked away in a drawer. Inside was a handwritten note, addressed to me.
“My dearest grandchild,” it read, “I know Mrs. Gable can be… persistent. Remember, you owe no one anything. Your happiness is your own. And sometimes, a little bit of absurdity is the best way to deal with entitlement.”
I smiled, a warm feeling spreading through my chest. Grandma had known exactly what to do. And she had left me the perfect tool to handle it. I had learned a valuable lesson that day: sometimes, the best way to deal with entitled people is to meet their absurdity with your own. And a little bit of humor never hurts.
Jamie Lee Curtis breaks down in tears over shocking revelation!
Jamie Lee Curtis said some very sad things about her close friend and Curb Your Enthusiasm star Richard Lewis, who died on Tuesday of a heart attack at the age of 76.
The 65-year-old actress who played the witch in Halloween also starred with the comedian in the sitcom Anything But Love, which ran for four seasons from 1989 to 1992.
She posted on her main Instagram page on Wednesday after hearing the sad news that the actor had died. Bette Midler was the first to share the news.
Curtis posted a bunch of old pictures of herself with Lewis and wrote a long caption in which she thanked the late star for being “the reason I am sober.”
This month, Jamie celebrated 25 years of being sober after struggling with an opioid addiction.
“I just learned that my friend Richard Lewis has died.” I remember exactly where I was on Sunset Boulevard when I saw a billboard of him for a stand-up special. It was during the casting process for the ABC pilot Anything But Love, and I asked the casting staff to bring him in to try out for the part of Marty Gold, my best friend and maybe boyfriend.
“I thought he looked good.” Someone made me laugh, which is something a strong woman can’t really do for herself. I laughed out loud when he pronounced the word “Bundt cake” wrong, but he got the part.
“He blew everyone else away,” Jamie said. They didn’t pick up the pilot for the love triangle show, but they got back to me and said, “The chemistry with Richard was so great. Could we revamp the original pilot?” That’s how we ended up making the show for two years.
“He was also a stand-up comedian, but he hated performing in front of real people. I, on the other hand, loved it.”
He would hide his lines on props, door frames, and even my face in a close-up. He also always had his lines written on a clipboard with him. He played roles very well, it turned out. It’s deep and so damn funny.
She said, “We grieved together over the death of our friend and co-star Richard Frank and over the death of our friend and producer John Ritter.”
“In his last text message to me, Richard hoped that I could get ABC/Disney to release another boxed set of episodes of the show,” she wrote to her fans.
Then Jamie said, “He’s also the reason I’m sober.” He helped me. I will always be grateful to him for that act of kindness.
They talked about his wife, Joyce Lapinsky, and she said, “He found love with Joyce, and that, of course, along with being sober, was what mattered most to him.” It makes me cry to write this.
This is a strange way to thank a nice and funny man. Richard, may you rest in laughter. “My Marty, I love you, Hannah!” she said in the end.
Jamie also wrote a second post about how sad she was about the death of her longtime friend and former co-star.
She added another old picture of herself with Lewis and some lyrics from the Anything But Love theme song.
“In the third and final season of the TV show ANYTHING BUT LOVE, which aired on ABC for a few years, the great singer-songwriter JD Souther wrote this beautiful theme song,” Curtis wrote.
“Try to find it on YouTube and listen to it. If not, I’ve written it down here for you.” Today I’m giving them to my friend Richard Lewis.
She shared lyrics that said, “If we had never met/And the world got on without us/Just as if we were never that at all,”We would still be looking for the next big thing and trying not to fall…
“Anything but love will do and hearts that beat like thunder.”For everyone but you, anything but love would be enough.
Larry David, who also stars on Curb Your Enthusiasm, and other famous people and social media users paid tribute to the late Richard Lewis.
“He’s been like a brother to me for most of my life,” he told HBO. “Richard and I were born three days apart in the same hospital.”
“He was the funniest and nicest person at the same time, which doesn’t happen very often.” The comedian told Variety, “But today he made me cry, and I’ll never forgive him for that.”
Cheryl Hines, who worked with Lewis on the hit show, wrote, “When I was young, I had the biggest crush on Richard Lewis.”
“There was no one funnier or more handsome on stage than him.” Then I got to work with him on Curb Your Enthusiasm, which was a dream come true.
“Over the years, I learned more about Richard and the gifts he gave.” I fell in love with him because he was funny, but he was also one of the nicest people I know.
“Especially in the last few years,” Cheryl said, “he would take the time to tell the people he loved how much they meant to him.” He told me how important I was to him and how much he loved me in between takes on Curb.
“To be loved by Richard Lewis.” A real gift. Richard, I love you. We will miss you. I love you, Joyce, and everyone in Richard’s family. Lawrence, Richard loved you…You already know that, though.
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