After a night of overindulgence, Bob found himself in an entirely unexpected situation — standing at the Pearly Gates in front of St. Peter.
But instead of accepting his fate, Bob struck a deal to return to life… as a chicken. What followed was an egg-laying, feathery experience he never saw coming.
Stumbling Into Bed
Bob was known for enjoying his nights out a bit too much, and that evening was no exception. Late at night, he stumbled into bed, quietly sliding in next to his wife, who was sound asleep. Little did he know, the night was about to take an unimaginable turn.
As the first light of dawn broke, Bob didn’t wake up in his own bed. Instead, he found himself standing before the grand Pearly Gates.
“Am I dreaming?” he muttered, confused.
St. Peter, clipboard in hand, greeted him warmly.
“Bob, I’m afraid you passed away in your sleep.”
Bob’s jaw dropped in disbelief.
“This can’t be! I’m not ready to go. There’s so much I haven’t done yet!”
St. Peter, sympathetically, offered a solution.
“Well, there is one way you could return, but only as a chicken.”
Desperate to get back to life, Bob reluctantly agreed. Without a moment to reconsider, he was instantly transported to a nearby farm, now covered in feathers, clucking involuntarily.
Clucking Confusion
Adjusting to life as a hen, Bob was met by a smug rooster.
“Well, well, look who’s new in the coop! How’s it going, hen?”
Bob, still in shock, responded,
“Not bad, but I’ve got this weird pressure inside me. I feel like I’m about to burst!”
The rooster laughed.
“Ah, you’re ovulating. Haven’t you ever laid an egg before?”
Bob, wide-eyed, shook his feathery head.
“Never.”
“Well, it’s easy,” the rooster said. “Just relax and let nature take its course.”
Bob hesitated for a moment, but then, to his surprise — and discomfort — he laid an egg. A rush of strange emotions followed, and for a brief moment, he experienced the inexplicable joy of motherhood. He laid another egg, then another. Just as he was about to lay his third, a sharp smack to the back of his head jolted him awake.
“Bob! Wake up!” his wife yelled. “You’re drunk again and pooping in the bed!”
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My Husband Ridiculed My Postpartum Figure at a Work Event – His Boss Confronted Him the Following Day
I’m Claire, and I’d want to talk about a moving chapter of my life that started with intense self-loathing but turned into an unforeseen path of empowerment and fresh possibilities. This metamorphosis took place both during and after a business function at my husband Tim’s boss’s opulent home. It was supposed to be a fun-filled evening, but my husband’s careless remark turned it into a significant turning point in my life.
My nerves were aroused as soon as we arrived at the lavish location by the setting’s grandeur and the guests’ exquisite clothes. I had given birth three months earlier and felt incredibly self-conscious about my postpartum physique, even though I was wearing my nicest outfit. Tim seemed especially keen to show me around his coworkers and their spouses—possibly in an attempt to win over his employer.
Inside, the energy was electric, with people having animated discussions over good wine and delicious fare. I could feel others examining me while I made an effort to socialize, which made me feel even more insecure. I was starting to get nervous that the evening would not go as planned.
In the middle of the throng, Tim and I had a quiet moment until he leaned down and said something that completely broke my calm: “Oh, God, look at their wives.” They certainly don’t tip the scales as much as you do, huh? Three months ago, you delivered birth. Why are you unable to simply resemble them?
His remarks sliced deep, and I was left reeling from the unanticipated brutality. Tears welling up in my eyes, I excused myself and ran to the safety of the restroom. I let myself cry behind the barred door, too ashamed and betrayed to stop myself.
I felt wounded and angry at the same time when I thought back on his remarks. What made him say that? Feeling completely deceived by the person who was meant to be my biggest ally, I asked questions.
Mr. Harrison, Tim’s supervisor, abruptly approached me after I had somewhat regained control. He questioned softly, “Claire, may I speak with you for a moment?” while wearing a worried expression. He spoke in a gentle tone, and I nodded, feeling shaken by the experience.
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