Phil Donahue and Marlo Thomas wrote a book about marriage. It’s called “What Makes a Marriage Last: 40 Celebrated Couples Share with Us the Secrets.” In the book, they talk about their own marriage and share secrets from other couples.
Even though Marlo has been married to Phil for more than 40 years, she admits that when she was younger, she didn’t really want to get married.
In the book, Marlo Thomas talks about how she used to think marriage was like a vacuum cleaner that sucks out all your energy and ambition. She felt like living with a jailer you had to please.
But everything changed when she met Phil Donahue. They found each other after Phil’s first marriage ended, and now they have a strong bond that has lasted their whole lives.
Phil Donahue became famous with his TV show, “The Phil Donahue Show,” which later became just “Donahue.” It ran for 29 years and was the first show to let the audience join in. Marlo Thomas was a guest on his show, and meeting her changed Phil’s life.
The couple first met in Chicago in 1977. Phil Donahue already had four boys with him, and his fifth child, a daughter, lived with his ex-wife and her mother in another place.
Marlo and Phil dated for three years before getting married in 1980 in a small ceremony with 35 people.
Marlo’s friends and family were surprised by her decision to get married, given her past views on marriage. The book tells a funny story about friends at Marlo’s bridal shower putting up quotes from her that showed her previous thoughts about marriage.
According to the book, Marlo’s mom was really surprised at their wedding and kept asking Phil, “How did you get her to do this?” Even strangers, like a woman on their honeymoon plane to Greece, were shocked and disappointed that Marlo, who was known for being independent, decided to settle down.
In the book, Marlo admits that this made her doubt her choice. She wondered if she was being hypocritical since she had criticized marriage for so long. She worried that she let down fans who saw her as a symbol of independence.
Despite the challenges, Phil and Marlo make their marriage work. They talk about the ups and downs in the book, saying that those tough times helped strengthen their bond.
In the early days of their marriage, they spent time apart because Phil was taping his show in Chicago, and Marlo was traveling for her acting career. Even though they weren’t always living together, Marlo’s aunt helped her see that marriage can mean different things to different people.
Despite the distance, Marlo and Phil made their marriage successful. And one important thing to note is that Marlo not only gained a husband but also gained children when she got married.
In a 2012 interview with AARP, Marlo Thomas talked about helping to raise Phil’s children. She knew they already had a traditional mother, so she didn’t try to take on that role. Instead, she became more like a friend to Phil’s children, just like her own mother was to her.
Marlo says that her relationship with Phil’s children is even stronger now than when she first married Phil. In the book, Phil emphasizes that Marlo spent a lot of time talking to and trying to understand his sons.
Phil and Marlo think that the key to their long marriage is the trust they have in each other. Marlo says, “You build trust when you realize that this person always has your back.”
Even though they’ve been married for over 40 years, they believe there are still more memories to create together.
Phil says that for a marriage to last, both people have to really want it. Marlo agrees and says that looking back, she wouldn’t have it any other way than being married to Phil. She points out that he has supported her in every possible way.
Marriage is a wonderful connection, especially when two people fully commit to it. This couple is truly inspiring and sets a great example for all of us. We should all aim for a relationship as successful as theirs!
My Husband Left Me and the Kids Hungry Because His Dad Believes ‘It’s a Woman’s Job to Cook’ – They Both Learned Their Lesson
My Husband Left Me and the Kids Hungry Because His Dad Believes ‘It’s a Woman’s Job to Cook’ – They Both Learned Their Lesson
An ordinary evening turned into a battle over outdated gender roles. It went so far that my children and I had to go without dinner. My husband and father-in-law’s beliefs clashed with our modern family dynamics, but they were in for a lesson they would not forget.
A woman sitting by the table during dinner | Source: Pexels
My husband Marcus comes from this super traditional family and is the oldest of two kids. His mom’s a stay-at-home mom, and his dad was the sole provider.
But our family is the COMPLETE opposite. Instead, we both work and share our duties at home. My father-in-law just HATES it. He despises that I work and that my husband helps out at home.
An irritated son covering his face while his father is talking to him | Source: Pexels
Before my in-laws came to stay with us, my relationship with them was a mixed bag. My mother-in-law, though shy and reserved, was kind to me.
She never openly criticized our way of life, but her silence spoke volumes. She seemed scared to voice any opinion, always deferring to her husband’s rigid beliefs.
A woman smiling while looking at her man | Source: Pexels
My father-in-law, on the other hand, was a different story. He never missed an opportunity to express his disdain for our modern lifestyle. During family gatherings, he would make snide remarks about how a woman’s place was at home, not in the workforce.
People gathering at dinner in night garden and chatting | Source: Pexels
He believed that a man should be the provider and the head of the household, and he didn’t shy away from making his views known. Despite his harsh opinions, I tried to maintain a civil relationship with him for the sake of my husband.
We had several heated discussions over the years, but I always managed to keep my composure and stand my ground. I believed that respecting each other’s differences was the only way to keep the peace.
A man and two women talking at a table | Source: Pexels
So, when my in-laws decided to stay with us for two weeks, I knew it would be challenging. Our usual routine worked well for us. I made breakfast, we all ate lunch out, and my husband cooked dinner.
It was a system that balanced our responsibilities and kept our household running smoothly. Yesterday, I got home from work, exhausted and STARVING. I quickly greeted everyone and went for a pre-dinner shower.
A woman taking a shower | Source: Pexels
When I came back down, I expected dinner to be ready. But there was NOTHING. The kids kept asking when we were having dinner, and I asked my husband, but he wouldn’t even look at me.
Then his FATHER chimed in, “Sarah, your husband didn’t cook anything. You need to stop being LAZY and do your duty as a wife and cook for your family, AS A NORMAL WOMAN.”
A man sitting at the table while looking at a woman | Source: Pexels
I was SPEECHLESS, and my husband just sat there, NODDING, avoiding eye contact. I SAW RED. They both needed to learn a lesson.
“Really?” I started, my voice trembling with anger. “So, I should just come home after a full day of work and start cooking because that’s my duty?”
My father-in-law scoffed. “That’s right, Sarah. A woman’s place is in the kitchen.”
My mother-in-law sat quietly, too scared to say a word to her husband.
I turned to my husband. “And you agree with this?”
He mumbled, “Well, it wouldn’t hurt if you took better care of the home and kids. Tradition is tradition.”
A couple arguing at home | Source: Pexels
“Tradition?” I shot back. “Tradition won’t allow a man earning thirty-five thousand to support a family of five. You are too broke to be so sexist.” I saw tears well up in his eyes, but I wasn’t done.
Turning to his father, I said, “And you! When was the last time you took your wife to a restaurant? Do you even know what it costs to run this household?”
“Let me enlighten you. That car you drive, the one you’re so proud of? I paid for it because my income is bigger than your son’s. He asked me to cover it.”
My father-in-law’s face turned crimson. “That’s not true,” he stammered.
A man wearing glasses | Source: Pexels
“It is true,” I replied. “And now, since my hard-earned money went to that car, it’s only fair that I use this month’s payment to take your wife and my kids out for dinner. Let’s see you and your son figure out the car payment, like real men.”
Without waiting for a response, I took my mother-in-law and kids to a nice restaurant. They deserved a break. We enjoyed a wonderful meal, and my mother-in-law finally relaxed, thanking me repeatedly.
Two women hugging each other | Source: Pexels
Back at home, I knew the men would have to face the reality of their outdated beliefs. They needed to understand that respect and partnership are what make a family strong.
The next morning, there was a noticeable tension in the air. My husband and his father were unusually quiet during breakfast. My husband finally broke the silence.
A man and a woman in a kitchen | Source: Pexels
“I’m sorry for what happened,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I realize now how much I hurt you. I let my father’s outdated views influence me.”
His father, sitting beside him, looked uncomfortable but spoke up as well. “I didn’t realize how much times have changed. I’m sorry too. I’ve always seen things a certain way, but I understand now that it’s not right.”
A middle-aged man talking while wearing glasses | Source: Pexels
My mother-in-law, sitting quietly, nodded in agreement. I appreciated their apologies, but actions speak louder than words. I needed to see a change.
Over the next few days, both men made a visible effort to be more involved and respectful. My husband took back his duties without complaint, and his father helped where he could, even though it was clear he was uncomfortable at first.
A man wearing gloves while standing in front of a sink | Source: Pexels
One evening, as we were all preparing dinner together, my father-in-law approached me. “I want to thank you,” he said. “You opened my eyes. I see now that respect and partnership are crucial. I will try to do better.”
His sincerity touched me. “Thank you for understanding,” I replied. “It’s not about being right or wrong, but about supporting each other.”
Smiling woman sitting on couch with legs crossed | Source: Pexels
From that point on, the atmosphere in our home improved significantly. My husband and his father worked together to ensure that everyone felt valued and respected. My mother-in-law, with a newfound confidence, started to speak up more, expressing her thoughts and needs.
In the end, it wasn’t just about teaching a lesson. It was about growing together as a family and breaking free from outdated traditions that no longer served us. Our journey had its challenges, but it brought us closer and made us stronger.
A young family talking to their parents | Source: Pexels
In Sarah’s story, she was courageous enough to stand up to her father-in-law. But in the following one, Carmen feels guilty about doing the same thing. She questions whether teaching her in-law lesson was the right move.
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