According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
He was the first man in the world to give birth – 16 years later, he looks like this
In a groundbreaking moment 16 years ago, Thomas Beatie etched his name in history as the world’s first man to undergo pregnancy.
Born female, Thomas underwent a gender transition, now identifying as a transgender man. The global spotlight shone on him when news broke of his remarkable journey to parenthood with the birth of his first daughter, Susan
In a surprising turn of events in 2006, he halted his testosterone treatment with the aspiration of conceiving. Facing fertility challenges with his then-wife Nancy, Thomas made the courageous decision to carry the child himself.
The iconic image of Thomas Beatie sporting a heavily pregnant belly first circulated in 2008, creating ripples across the world. Media dubbed Beatie “the pregnant man” and news of his story quickly spread worldwide.
Yet, the journey was far from smooth, with hate emails and death threats pouring in from numerous quarters, including established media outlets.
”Doctors have discriminated against us, turning us away due to their religious beliefs. Health care professionals have refused to call me by a male pronoun or recognize Nancy as my wife. Receptionists have laughed at us. Friends and family have been unsupportive; most of Nancy’s family doesn’t even know I’m transgender,” Thomas later said.
During an extensive 48-hour labor, Susan, the first child of Thomas and Nancy, was born into the world healthy and happy. Thomas, determined to opt for a natural birth, defied expectations. His case marked the first documented instance where a legally recognized male gave birth within a marital union with a woman.
Thomas Thomas Trace Beatie
Posted by Thomas Trace Beatie on Tuesday, February 23, 2016
Over the course of five years without testosterone, Thomas experienced four more pregnancies (one of which resulted in an ectopic pregnancy). Together with his first wife, Nancy, he raised Susan and sons Austin and Jensen, presenting themselves as a traditional family with strong values.
In a significant television debut, Thomas Beatie took center stage with an exclusive hour-long interview on the Oprah Winfrey Show in April 2008. Addressing a global audience, he openly discussed his belief in the reproductive right to bear a child, irrespective of his male gender identity.
During the interview, Beatie emphasized: “It’s not a male or female desire to want to have a child; it’s a human desire. I’m a person, and I have the right to have my own biological child.”
His words echoed a powerful assertion of his personal autonomy and challenged conventional perceptions surrounding gender and parenthood.
In 2016, Thomas entered a new chapter, marrying a new partner, Amber. Despite having known each other since 2012, a tumultuous divorce with Nancy delayed Thomas and Amber’s nuptials.
The couple moved to Oregon with their blended family, consisting of Susan, Austin, Jensen, and Amber’s grandchild Lily.
Reflecting on their bustling household, Thomas shared: “It can get pretty loud with four kids aged 3, 5, 6, and 7, but we love it,” in an interview with Daily Mail.
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Quel rôle est plus convaincant: flic ou maçon? ??? Which look is more convincing?
Posted by Thomas Trace Beatie on Sunday, March 10, 2019
Sixteen years have elapsed since Thomas became a public figure, yet he continues to make occasional appearances on social media and in people’s feeds.
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In a recent interview with USA Today, he shared insights into his current endeavors, revealing that he now works as a stockbroker in Phoenix. He continues to live with his wife Amber, whom he met at the daycare where his children were enrolled.
His older children divide their time between his residence and their mother’s home, located approximately ten miles away.
According to Thomas, he lives a relatively quiet life but once in a while, he does public-speaking jobs and takes on modest acting opportunities.
Looking back on the whirlwind of attention that surrounded him 16 years ago when he graced the front pages, Thomas acknowledged the lasting impact of those significant moments in his life.
à quel métier/rôle j’ai l’air? ?️ What profession or role do I look like?
Posted by Thomas Trace Beatie on Tuesday, May 30, 2023
Reflecting on the past, Thomas, now in his 50s, remarked: “When my story came out, there wasn’t a single person in the public eye as a transgender man — most people had never heard of it.”
”This was pre-Chaz Bono. This was pre-Caitlyn Jenner. This was before anyone knew anything. It was a first exposure for a lot of people. And then on top of that, they can give birth! I think exposing the importance of fertility for trans people was a huge eye-opener.”
”Everything was a whirlwind,” he said. ”But I still don’t regret it,” Thomas shared.
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