When Cassie returns from a getaway with her husband and son, she walks into her home to see a cryptic message from her mother — telling her to watch a video. As Cassie presses play, her entire life changes. In the end, she’s left wondering which of her parents are worthy of forgiveness.
In my eyes, my father could do no wrong. He was everything I needed him to be and more. He was a businessman who was always traveling, but he ensured that he made enough time for me.
“You’re my little girl, Cassie,” he would say, bopping my nose with his index finger. “You’re the most special.”
My parents always went out of their way for me — ensuring that despite their busy schedules, we would have family dinner almost every night.
It was the one thing that kept me grounded while both of my friends from school were in the middle of their parents’ messy divorces.
“I think it’s trendy now,” I told my mother as she cut slices of banana bread for me after school one day.
“Cas, you cannot think that divorce is trendy,” she laughed. “It’s devastating and traumatic, and very few families actually keep things civil.”
“I’m just saying that it’s trendy because a lot of kids live between two homes,” I explained to her. “It’s one of those things we were talking about in class today.”
I was fourteen, and the world seemed more dramatic than it should have been.
But what I didn’t know was that my words seemed to be an incantation that settled over our home.
A few weeks after that conversation, my father went away on a business trip. A few hours after he had been gone, there was news of his passing.
“How?” I asked. “How did he die?”
“I don’t know what to tell you, Cassie,” she replied. “I’m just saying what the paramedics told me.”
“So what will we do next?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” she asked, puzzled by the question.
“For the funeral?” I asked. “Aren’t we going to have one?”
“I don’t think so,” my mother replied. “Dad wanted to be cremated and have his ashes spread at the beach. Let’s do that instead.”
I couldn’t fathom why my mother would want to do that — but at the end of the day, she knew my father best. And the longer I thought about it, the more beautiful and sentimental a private ceremony at the beach felt.
“Don’t be difficult, Cassie,” my mother said when she saw me thinking about my next move.
“I’m not,” I said. “Really. I was just thinking about it. It’s a great idea, Mom.”
I could have fought her for a send-off that I thought would have been more appropriate. But what use would it have been? At the end of the day, we had both lost him.
The months following the beach ceremony felt weighted, and I knew that I was becoming deeply depressed — my father had been our world. And his absence was felt more than anything.
But, with time, I learned to live with it.
Last week, I decided to book a cabin in the woods for a little family vacation. My son was adamant that camping was the new best thing, and I knew that despite the wonders of nature, I wasn’t going to camp in a tent without a bathroom in sight.
Instead, I thought that a cabin would be the best option — my husband, Derek, could camp outside with Drew, our son, if he insisted on it.
We had a dog, therefore, I asked my mother to house-sit for the week so that we could be at peace, knowing that Romeo was taken care of.
A week away was more than enough to restore my mind — and eventually, when we went back home, I was surprised to see that my mother wasn’t there. In fact, it looked like she had never been there.
But there, on the coffee table, was a note beneath the TV remote.
Watch this, Cassie. I’m sorry. — Mom
I didn’t know what was in store for me, but while Derek got Drew into the bath, I put the TV on and began to watch whatever my mother had planned.
The TV flickered to life, and there he was, my father, his voice a long-lost melody, his image aged but still, unmistakably him.
Tears streamed down my face as the realization that he was still alive enveloped me in a mix of joy and disbelief.
The video message was nothing short of unpredictable.
My dear Cassie, I’m still here, alive. I’m so sorry for the pain that you must have felt from my loss. But it was needed. I needed to be removed from your life because of the sordid truth of my past. Your mother knows everything, please ask her for the truth.
My health is on a steady decline, and I would love to see you and explain it all.
Love you, Dad.
Without telling Derek or Drew anything, I grabbed the car keys and ran out. I needed my mother to explain.
“So, I bet you’ve got questions for me,” she said, opening the door.
“Explain it all,” I said.
“Cassie, it’s heavy. You look tired from your trip; are you sure you want to do this now?” she asked.
I nodded. It was now or never. I needed to know why my father faked his own death to get out of our lives.
My mother made us some tea and took out some shortbread.
“Darling,” she said. “I’ll understand if you don’t forgive me, but there’s so much about that time that I need to tell you.”
I sipped my tea, trying to figure out what my mother was about to tell me.
“I remember that you were telling me about your friend’s parents getting divorced. Do you remember that?” she asked.
I nodded. Of course, I did. It was the strangest thing, but it was so common when I was in school.
“Well, your father and I were not legally married. So when I told him about our conversation regarding divorce, he was actually relieved. Without being married, there would be no divorce.”
“What’s the big deal?” I asked.
“Then I found out that the real reason that we didn’t get married was because your father was already married to another woman.”
“What?” I exclaimed, almost dropping my cup. “To who?”
“To a woman in the town where he always had his business trips.”
“You didn’t know?” I asked, unable to believe her words.
“Of course not!” she exclaimed. “But when I pressed him about it, he decided to choose that family over us. So, I told him that the story was going to be his death.”
We were both silent for a moment.
Turns out that my mother told him that she would never tell me the truth, not when he was my favorite person. She couldn’t burst my bubble in that way. And she refused to let him see me one more time.
“It was better for you to think that it was an accident,” my mother said. “It just made more sense.”
Now, I understood why we didn’t have a funeral for him.
“What did we throw into the sea, then?” I asked.
“Dust,” she replied with a straight face.
My mother had spoken to him twice over the years. The second time being a day ago.
During their meeting, my father confessed his imminent death due to illness and requested that she give me the recording. My mother, torn by guilt and love, chose to write me the note and have the recording all set for me to watch.
“I would have taken the secret to my grave,” she said. “But knowing that he was ill and wanted to see you just struck something in me.”
Compelled by a need to confront the reality of my father’s existence, I traveled to the state where he lived with his other family.
I spent a few weeks with my father — going in and out of hospitals, watching him take an array of different medication, and growing weaker by the day.
Sitting at his bedside, I listened to his stories, the regrets, the moments of joy, and the love he had for all his children — myself included.
When things started to go downhill, I asked Derek to fly over with Drew. It was going to be a fleeting moment, but at least I’d know that my son had met my father.
A few days later, my father died.
Even now, I don’t know if I’ve forgiven him for the lie of having a double life. I just know that when it came to it in the end — I wanted to spend time with him. I had shoved my feelings aside, hoping for memories that I could figure out later.
But now that the dust has settled, I’m trying to figure out if I should forgive my mother for lying.
What would you do?
Tragic events bring orphan colt, mare together
An orphan colt whose mother died shortly after giving birth has a new mom – a mare that had tragically lost her foal – thanks to the generosity of strangers and Washington State University veterinarians playing matchmaker.
Pairing an orphan foal and a nursing mare is a challenging task and one that commonly ends with failure. In this case, the connection was instantaneous.
“The mare had only been without a foal for about 24 hours,” Dr. Lisbeth Matthews, an equine medicine and surgery intern, said. “We walked her into the Veterinary Teaching Hospital and past him. He made a noise, and she went, ‘oh, there’s my foal,’ and started making noises back at him.”
It was a surprise to everyone how quickly the mare, named Shelly but affectionally called Mama by her owners, Roy and Faye Lions, accepted the colt. Equine veterinarian Jenifer Gold, who was helping to care for the foal and to supervise its introduction to the mare, said nursing mares frequently reject orphan foals, and when they don’t, the pairing process often takes days.
“She walked in and started nickering at him like it was her own baby – it was unbelievable,” Gold said. “I’ve been doing this for 20 years, and I have never seen it happen that way.”
The foal, which has been named Laredo, was admitted to the teaching hospital by his owner, Spokane resident Rachel Williams, just days after he was born when he started showing troubling digestive issues. Shortly after the colt arrived in Pullman, Faye Lions placed a call to WSU to see if the equine team was aware of any orphan colts needing a nursing mare.
“Our foal was dead, and nothing was going to bring it back, so we were hoping we could help someone else,” Faye Lions said. “It just so happened there was a foal there.”
A day later, the colt and Shelly were introduced.
“For them to be so willing to basically hand over their animal to a complete stranger after experiencing their own tragedy was pretty phenomenal,” Williams said. “I feel like in this scenario it was the worst of the worst for everybody, but there was a little bit of silver lining to the story.”
Williams is also grateful for the care and treatment she and her foal received at WSU.
“I just can’t even find words to say how great the veterinarians at WSU were,” she said. “They went above and beyond. I am just happy I ended up at WSU. I am so glad we were able to match those two up – it is kind of a miracle.”
Shelly will live with Williams until the colt is ready to be weaned, likely in six months, before she will return to her home in Kamiah, Idaho.
“It will be tough to say goodbye because you just naturally start to bond with animals, and she has kind of been my lifesaver,” Williams said. “It will be bittersweet for sure, but I am sure her owners will be happy to have her back.”
During the spring, the equine team at WSU typically sees at least a handful of orphan foals. Equine medicine specialist Dr. Macarena Sanz said orphan foals can be fed a powdered milk formula designed for horses, but those raised by humans typically develop behavioral issues that can become problematic as the animal matures.
“They turn out to be socially weird, have no understanding of personal space, and they are more difficult to train,” WSU equine veterinarian Macarena Sanz said. “The fact that this orphan foal has a mare is really going to make a difference.”
Sanz strongly encourages owners to immediately call their veterinarian if a foal is orphaned, as early care is critical to the animal’s survival.
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