Over ten years ago, something terrible happened in Yaroslavl, a Russian City.
One day quite some time ago, a neighbor heard that a baby was crying in a house not far away, but at the time he didn’t think about it a whole lot and went back to his daily life.
In the days that proceeded, he noticed that the baby continued to cry inconsolably, even though no one had seen any signs of life from the house, there were never lights on or any sign of activity at all.
The neighbors really started to worry and called the police to investigate.
When the police got into the house it was derelict and empty, the people who had lived there before had taken all their things, cleared the house, and disappeared.
The only thing that was left in the house was their own little baby, how awful!
The little girl was one year old and they found her on a dirty cold floor all on her own for many days!!
The authorities investigated further and discovered that the baby was called Liza Verbitskaya, although her parents were nowhere to be seen, in fact, no one could find them or knew where they were.
Little Liza was taken to a doctor and she recovered in the hospital for a good number of days to make sure she really was nursed back to health after her ordeal.
While she was in the hospital there was a woman called Inna Nika, she was there looking after her sick son and was there day and night.
One particular day she happened to hear a scream from the hospital room next door and had a look inside the room, out of curiosity and concern, to see what was going on. Little Liza was there in the room and Inna felt a maternal pull toward the little girl.
From that day forth, Inna visited Liza every day and came with clothes, food and toys for her.
Inna was about to visit Liza one day, like every other day, but Liza was not there, she had gone. She found out that the little girl was thought to be strong enough to be released from care at the hospital to an orphanage.
Inna felt so empty and really yearned to be reunited with the little girl again, so much so that she made the decision to go and find her!
When she did find her she felt that there was no doubt in her mind, she wanted to adopt the little girl. Inna began the adoption process as soon as she could and after a lot of paperwork Liza was given permission to live with Inna and her family, where she loved her like one of her own.
When Inna adopted Liza, with the paperwork and delays, she was nearly two. She was so afraid of loud noises she couldn’t chew food! She had been very traumatized…
Inna was more determined than ever to give the little girl the ware and love that she had always needed and her dark times were clearly in the past.
Liza found it difficult to learn to walk, but as she got older Inna joined her with a dance school, she hoped that she would become more comfortable in herself and it would bring her out of her shell.
Exactly why, nobody will be 100% sure, but with all the love and the care she received from her adopted mom, it wasn’t long before Liza bloomed like another girl of her age.
Liza was really dark skinned unlike her siblings and stuck out like a sore thumb, it really was not easy as she began to grow up. Inna always said to her daughter that she should never listen to others as they are easily driven by jealousy.
The now teenage Liza has won several beauty contests, many talents show and worked her first job as a fashion model. Such an amazing contrast to how her life started and how she has succeeded!
Why More Happy Couples Prefer to Sleep in Separate Beds
According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
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