I grew up believing that my father blamed me for my mother’s death but the truth was heartbreaking.
I never knew my mother, and my father never spoke about her. All I knew was that she had been very beautiful, because of the picture that hung on my father’s study wall, and that she had died very young.
My father was a sad man, a quiet and distant man. I wanted him to notice me, and to love me, but he never did. He rarely spoke to me beyond the perfunctory hello and goodbye, good morning and goodnight. I would have given anything for him to sweep me into his arms and tell me he loved me.
The shadow of my mother’s death followed me my whole life | Source: Shutterstock.com
This strange and strained relationship with my father continued until I was 18, and by then I was a sad and lonely young woman who believed my father hated me. If my father didn’t love me, who would?
But the answer to all my questions was about to be delivered in the most painful and cruel way. My father was hosting a party for his business associates, and among them was a woman whom I knew slightly.
If you don’t leave the past behind you, you deny yourself a future.
I had the feeling that she and my father had a past together — or at least that she wished they did. She greeted me and we started chatting — inconsequential talk about nothing special — and my father walked by.
I gave him my best smile, but he immediately glanced away. The woman saw it all. “Do you know why?” she asked.
I grew up feeling that my father hated me | Source: Unsplash
“Why what?” I asked, confused.
“Why he hates you,” she said.
“My father doesn’t hate me!” I exclaimed. “He’s just not a very demonstrative man.”
“So you don’t know…” she smiled. It was the ugliest smile I’d ever seen. I was about to walk away when she said, “He believes you killed your mother, Karen.”
One day at a party someone told me the truth | Source: Unsplash
I stopped in my tracks. “What?” I gasped.
“Your mother died giving birth to you, surely you know that?” she said.
“No…” I answered. “No, I didn’t know.” I turned my back on her and went looking for my grandmother, my father’s mother, the woman who’d raised me and never told me about my mother’s death.
“How did my mother die?” I asked her angrily. “Was it in childbirth?”
My mother had died in childbirth | Source: Pexels
My grandmother shook her head. “Please Karen, your father asked me never to speak of this with you.”
“I have the right to know about my own mother!” I cried. “I have the right to know why my father hates me!”
Then a quiet angry voice behind me said, “I don’t hate you, Karen, but your mother’s death is none of your business:”
I turned to face my father. “My mother’s death is none of my business? You’re wrong! I killed her, didn’t I? That’s what you think each time you look at me!”
My father blamed me for her death | Source: Unsplash
The expression in his eyes sent me running out of the door. I got into my car and drove aimlessly, tears running down my face. In my distress, I didn’t see the oncoming car changing lanes until it was too late.
I woke up in the hospital linked to a beeping machine, with a dull promise of pain twinging through my whole body. Sitting by my side and holding my hand was my father.
“Karen,” he said softly, “Thank God you’re alright!”
“Daddy…” I whispered, “you’re here!”
Tears came into his eyes. “Of course I’m here. I don’t hate you, Karen. I love you. And I don’t blame you for your mother’s death, I blame myself. When your mom and I married we were very poor.
“All we had were dreams and our love for each other. Then she fell pregnant and I took on a second job. I knew we’d need the money when you came along. I was working 16-hour days and she spent a lot of time alone.
“So one day when I came home she wasn’t there. A neighbor had taken her to the hospital. When I got there it was all over. Your mother had died, and I hadn’t been there for her.
The accident nearly cost me my life | Source: Pexels
“I didn’t blame you, Karen, I blamed myself. I was determined I wasn’t going to fail you the way I’d failed her, so I threw myself into my work, and I became a rich man.
“Daddy, how could you blame yourself?” I asked. “There was nothing you could have done!”
“I could have been there, holding her hand the way I’m holding yours now,” he said.
“But daddy…” I hesitated, “you were always so angry with me, so cold. You ran away from me.”
My father and I were reconciled | Source: Unsplash
“Karen, you look just like your mother, and each time I looked at you, my heart was torn apart by grief and guilt. It took nearly losing you to make me realize what I’d done. I love you.”
For the first time in my life, my father put his arms around me and showed me that he loved me. It was a new beginning for both of us, and I like to believe my mother was smiling down from heaven.
What can we learn from this story?
- If you don’t leave the past behind you, you deny yourself a future. Karen’s father was so lost in his pain that he nearly lost the opportunity to have a wonderful relationship with his daughter.
- The truth can heal old wounds and open the way to a new beginning. It was only after Karen and her father spoke about their estrangement that they could move past their misunderstandings.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a man who left his widowed mother homeless.
This account is inspired by our reader’s story but written by a professional writer. All names have been changed to protect identities and ensure privacy. Share your story with us, maybe it will change someone’s life.
KATIE HOLMES RAISES DAUGHTER IN COZY APARTMENT ALONE – RARE TIMES WE COULD SEE IT INSIDE
Katie Holmes, a single mother, has been residing in an apartment with her daughter ever since her divorce from Tom Cruise. The dissolution of their marriage was marked by acrimony, to the extent that the “Mission Impossible” star has been notably absent from their child’s life.
Suri, who has spent her entire life in Manhattan, New York, is on the brink of turning 18. Growing up, her mother intentionally shielded her from the public eye, particularly after parting ways with her father, partly due to ideological differences.
With this significant milestone approaching, Suri will legally become an adult according to New York state law. This newfound status grants her the opportunity to reconnect with her father and delve into the circumstances surrounding their estrangement, including discussions about his beliefs and the conflicts that ensued.
Tony Ortega, known for his extensive coverage of Scientology over the years, remarked in an interview, “Suri would have been too young to enter into any agreements, but now she is free to express herself if she chooses to, and it will be particularly intriguing if she has insights to share.”
Katie and Tom welcomed their only child together, daughter Suri Cruise, in April 2006. The couple exchanged vows months later, in November of the same year.
However, after nearly seven years of marriage, the actress filed for divorce from the actor in June 2012. Their divorce was finalized in 2013.
Allegedly, Katie decided to end the marriage out of concern for raising her daughter within Scientology, a religion to which Tom has been dedicated. Her departure from the institution and subsequent dissolution of the marriage created a significant divide between her and the movie star, leading to Tom’s distancing from their daughter over time.
Reports emerged that Katie had secretly leased a two-bedroom apartment in the Chelsea Mercantile building two weeks before filing for divorce from the “Top Gun: Maverick” star.
As the lease was nearing its end, she reportedly began planning a move from the $12,500-a-month apartment that she and her daughter had called home since the separation.
KATIE HOLMES RAISES DAUGHTER IN COZY APARTMENT ALONE – RARE TIMES WE COULD SEE IT INSIDE
Katie Holmes, a single mother, has been residing in an apartment with her daughter ever since her divorce from Tom Cruise. The dissolution of their marriage was marked by acrimony, to the extent that the “Mission Impossible” star has been notably absent from their child’s life.
Suri, who has spent her entire life in Manhattan, New York, is on the brink of turning 18. Growing up, her mother intentionally shielded her from the public eye, particularly after parting ways with her father, partly due to ideological differences.
With this significant milestone approaching, Suri will legally become an adult according to New York state law. This newfound status grants her the opportunity to reconnect with her father and delve into the circumstances surrounding their estrangement, including discussions about his beliefs and the conflicts that ensued.
Tony Ortega, known for his extensive coverage of Scientology over the years, remarked in an interview, “Suri would have been too young to enter into any agreements, but now she is free to express herself if she chooses to, and it will be particularly intriguing if she has insights to share.”
Katie and Tom welcomed their only child together, daughter Suri Cruise, in April 2006. The couple exchanged vows months later, in November of the same year.
However, after nearly seven years of marriage, the actress filed for divorce from the actor in June 2012. Their divorce was finalized in 2013.
Allegedly, Katie decided to end the marriage out of concern for raising her daughter within Scientology, a religion to which Tom has been dedicated. Her departure from the institution and subsequent dissolution of the marriage created a significant divide between her and the movie star, leading to Tom’s distancing from their daughter over time.
Reports emerged that Katie had secretly leased a two-bedroom apartment in the Chelsea Mercantile building two weeks before filing for divorce from the “Top Gun: Maverick” star.
As the lease was nearing its end, she reportedly began planning a move from the $12,500-a-month apartment that she and her daughter had called home since the separation.
During that period, the “Dawson’s Creek” alum sought to purchase her own spacious apartment in Manhattan. Sources indicated that Katie aimed to establish permanent roots for her daughter by becoming a homeowner.
Now, Suri has reached adulthood, and it was revealed that she was applying to colleges earlier this year with her devoted mother’s support. While her famous father remains estranged from her life, the three-time Golden Globe Award winner has agreed to cover his daughter’s college expenses.
Tom has been fulfilling his financial obligations by paying child support over the years, agreeing to provide $400,000 annually until Suri reaches 18. Despite the estrangement, he has consistently met his responsibilities in terms of financial support.
Expressing her desire to study fashion in New York City, Suri’s mother intends for her to remain close by so they can maintain their strong bond. Katie, described as “extremely overprotective,” is apprehensive about her daughter leaving the nest, according to insiders.
In a candid interview in 2017, Katie emphasized the paramount importance of motherhood and her unconditional love for Suri. She expressed her dedication to providing her daughter with a stable and nurturing environment, underscoring the joy she derives from witnessing her child thrive.
Additionally, Katie shared her enjoyment of spending quality time with Suri, particularly in the kitchen during mornings, reminiscing about preparing breakfast for her when she was ten years old.
When it comes to dinner, the brunette beauty shared that they often enjoy their favorite dishes, which include “pasta and lasagna.” During Suri’s early years, around the age of six, she and her mother would frequent the park at unconventional hours due to the heightened attention surrounding her parents’ publicized separation. Reflecting on this period in a July 2022 interview, Katie disclosed:
“We would head to the park at 6 a.m. just to spend time outdoors.”
Despite Tom’s decision to not engage with their daughter, Katie has remained steadfast in ensuring that it does not impact Suri’s upbringing, according to a source. The insider noted that being raised by a single parent has played a significant role in shaping Suri’s character.
The teenager holds an unwavering affection for her mother and has been characterized as “intelligent.” She is evolving into a “mature and insightful” individual who possesses a strong sense of her roots.
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