Older generations used to warn that people shouldn’t get tattoos because they’re permanent and someone may one day regret getting them. However, these days tattoo removal is an option. Although painful, it works after a few sessions but can leave behind some scarring. Either way, 35-year-old Leandro De Souza has decided to undergo laser treatments to remove almost 2 decades worth of ink.
Leandro De Souza is a native of Brazil and a proud father. However, his divorce almost a decade ago proved to be almost more than he could handle. As a result, De Souza went down a path of partying. During this time he accumulated more than 170 tattoos but his first ink was at just 13 years old. “I did the first one when I was 13,” De Souza explained. “The first ones were very much about the idolatry of the time.” However, he’s recently set out on a religious path of Evangelicalism. As a result, he’s decided to undergo the laser tattoo removal process.
Facing Heartbreak
Leandro’s first tattoos were inspired by his favorite bands, such as Nirvana, Guns N’ Roses, and Metallica. However, the majority of his tattoos were from a decade-long binge following his divorce. During that time, Leandro admittedly experimented with drugs like LSD, alcohol, and ecstasy.
Finding Motivation for Tattoo Removal
“I couldn’t stand the life I was living anymore. I was an attraction at (events I attended) and it felt like a circus animal.” He said regarding his decision for tattoo removal. De Souza was visiting a shelter almost a decade after his difficult divorce. This visit would change the course of his life. “The first step in everything in life is to accept that you can’t do it alone, that you are an addict, that you are a drug addict,” de Souza said. “And I managed to do that, I entered the municipal shelter in Bagé. Within a week, there was a lady who referred me and started to evangelize me.“
Turning a New Leaf
It’s been 2 years since De Souza changed his life and opted for tattoo removal. However, it’s a long process that will be more so for De Souza’s 170 tattoos. Moreover, he now spends his time speaking with “parents and children in homes that are in prisons.”
Leandro began the tattoo removal process with the help of a tattoo studio in Franco da Rocha, São Paulo, which heard about the exciting changes Leandro was making to turn his life around. He’s now been clean from alcohol for 3 years, and free of tobacco and other substances for a year. De Souza still has 6 more tattoo removal sessions before his ink is gone and his transformation, so far, is astonishing and awe-inspiring.
Tattoo Removal is a Modern Possibility
For many, getting a tattoo is inspired by the desire to express one’s creativity, treating their body like a canvas. However, others may regret their ink choices as they mature or their interests and relationship status change. Fortunately, tattoo removal is possible with advancing technology but there are a few side effects like tenderness, skin irritability, and even scarring.
Tattoo Removal Methods
Interestingly, tattoo removal comes with options. De Souza’s treatment, laser tattoo removal, uses lasers to “heat the ink particles,” breaking them down and making it “easier for your immune system to remove,” according to Cleveland Clinic. Laser tattoo removal sessions are scheduled about 3 months apart and can last anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour depending on the size of the ink. This method does come with side effects that range from mild skin irritation to painful blisters, but each person responds differently to treatment.
Skin Removal for Tattoo Removal
Another option for tattoo removal is surgical excision. The medical procedure requires a surgeon, who will “cut out the skin that contains a tattoo.” Then they will “stitch your remaining skin together.” The procedure probably sounds intimidating but it’s only used for small tattoos, as cutting an entire back tattoo and then stitching it up would be unpleasant, dangerous, and seemingly impossible.
Meanwhile, dermabrasion and chemical peels are used to remove the outer layers of skin. Unfortunately, both can cause severe skin sensitivity, especially in sunlight. Therefore, understanding the risks and how to treat the skin properly as it heals is essential to your skin’s health and physical comfort.
Not Recommended by Professionals
Lastly, and possibly least popular and effective, are tattoo removal creams. They can be used at home and often take months or years to yield results. Furthermore, they contain acids that “irritate or damage your skin.” As such, they’re usually advised against by medical professionals.
Can Anyone Get Tattoo Removal
In short, yes. However, some things are worth noting when considering tattoo removal. Firstly, tattoo removal takes time and similar or repetitive steps to be effective, regardless of your chosen tattoo removal method. The reason for this is that a tattoo artist applies ink in layers of the skin, so layers have to be broken down which can’t happen in one sitting, otherwise you’ll suffer severe and irreversible skin damage. Ultimately, that would put your overall health and immunity at risk. Additionally, your skin needs time between sessions to “flush out the ink” so, it’s recommended to wait a few weeks or months between most tattoo removal options listed above.
Secondly, certain ink colors are easier to remove than others. For example, blue and black are easy to remove during laser tattoo removal because “they’re better at absorbing light.” Meanwhile, colors like red are difficult to remove because their “molecular composition” is more resistant to the treatment options.
An Alternative
Consider having them turned into something else, rather than removed. For instance, if you’re considering tattoo removal and the reason has nothing to do with necessity, for work, or because, like De Souza, you’re on a new path. Instead, you don’t like how it looks anymore, have separated from the person who inspired the tattoo, or have other interests. In this case, you might consider another visit to the tattoo shop to have them create something else by covering the existing tattoo. For many, this option may be more satisfying and less time-consuming.
My wife had been marking tally counts on her hands — when I discovered what she was tracking, I turned pale
When I noticed my wife drawing strange tally marks on her hand, I shrugged it off as a quirky habit. But as those marks multiplied and her answers remained cryptic, I realized something much darker was lurking beneath the surface of our seemingly happy marriage.
“Married life is great, right?” I would say to my friends when they asked. And for the most part, it was. We’d only been married for a few months, and I was still getting used to being a husband. My wife, Sarah, was always so organized, so thoughtful. She had a way of making everything seem effortless.
But then, something changed. I started noticing a strange habit of hers. One day, she pulled a pen out of her purse and made a small tally mark on the back of her hand. I didn’t think much of it at first.
“Did you just mark your hand?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
She smiled and shrugged. “Just a reminder.”
“A reminder for what?” I laughed, thinking it was a joke. But she didn’t answer. She just changed the subject.
Over the next few weeks, she did it more and more. Some days, there’d be only one or two marks. Other days, five or more. Then there’d be days with nothing at all. It seemed random, but it bothered me. What was she keeping track of?
The more I noticed, the more I started to worry. It was like she was keeping a secret from me, and that secret was slowly eating away at our happiness.
One night, I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“Sarah, what’s with the tally marks?” I asked as we were getting ready for bed. “You do it all the time now.”
She glanced at the marks on her hand, then looked at me with that same mysterious smile. “It helps me remember things, that’s all.”
“Remember what?” I pressed.
“It’s just… things,” she said, brushing me off like it was nothing. “Don’t worry about it.”
But I did worry. A lot. I started paying closer attention. She’d mark her hand after dinner. After we argued. After we watched a movie. There was no pattern I could see.
One evening, I counted the marks on her hand: seven. That night, I watched as she transferred them into a small notebook by her bedside table. She didn’t know I was watching.
I decided to check her notebook the next morning. I waited until she was in the shower, then flipped through the pages. Each page had rows and rows of tally marks. I counted them—68 in total.
I sat on the bed, staring at the notebook in my hands. What did this number mean? What was she counting?
I tried asking her again a few days later.
“Sarah, please tell me what those marks are for. It’s driving me crazy.”
She sighed, clearly annoyed. “I told you. It’s just something I do. It helps me remember.”
“That doesn’t make any sense!” I snapped. “What are you remembering? Are you keeping track of something? Someone?”
“Just drop it, okay?” she said, her voice sharp. She looked at me, her eyes pleading. “Please, just let it go.”
But I couldn’t let it go. The marks started to feel like a wall between us. Every time I saw her make a new one, it was like she was putting up another brick, shutting me out.
I became obsessed with the number 68. What was so important about it? I noticed I was being more careful around her, almost like I was afraid to give her a reason to add another mark. But then the marks would still appear, no matter what I did.
One night, after another tense conversation, I watched her add four new marks to her hand. I needed to know what was happening. I needed to figure this out before it drove me mad. But I had no idea how to get the truth out of her. And that scared me more than anything.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that our entire marriage was on the line, and I was helpless to stop whatever was happening between us. I left for several days to see if it changed anything. Well, the tally count has increased to 78 by the time I returned.
The obsession with Sarah’s tally marks was eating me alive. I needed a break from it, but everywhere I looked, I saw her hand with those little black lines, like they were taunting me. So, when Sarah suggested we visit her mother, I thought it would be a good distraction.
Her mother, Diane, and her fifth husband, Jake, lived in a cozy house in the suburbs. It was a typical Saturday afternoon visit: tea, cookies, and small talk. Sarah and her mom were in the kitchen, chatting and laughing. I excused myself to use the bathroom.
As I passed by the guest bedroom, something caught my eye. There, on the nightstand, was a notebook. It looked just like the one Sarah kept by her bed. I hesitated, but curiosity got the better of me. I stepped inside, glancing over my shoulder to make sure no one was watching.
I opened the notebook, my hands trembling. Inside, there were pages filled with tally marks, just like Sarah’s. But there was more. Next to the marks were labels: “interrupting,” “raising voice,” “forgetting to call.” Each tally had a label, like it was keeping track of mistakes.
“What the hell is this?” I muttered under my breath.
I felt a chill run down my spine. Was this some kind of family tradition? Was Sarah’s mom counting her own mistakes? Were they both holding themselves to these impossible standards?
I closed the notebook and returned to the living room, trying to act normal, but my mind was spinning. Sarah noticed my unease.
“You okay?” she asked, concern in her eyes.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I lied. “Just thinking about work.”
We stayed for another hour, but I was barely present. My thoughts kept drifting back to that.
On the drive home, I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“Sarah, I need to ask you something,” I said, gripping the steering wheel.
She looked at me, puzzled. “What’s up?”
“I saw your mom’s notebook today. It looked a lot like yours. Is this something you both do? Are you counting your mistakes? You don’t have to be perfect, you know. You don’t need to keep track of every little thing.”
There was a moment of silence, then she let out a bitter laugh.
“You think I’m counting my mistakes?”
“Well, yeah,” I said, relieved she was finally opening up. “You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. It’s okay to mess up sometimes.”
She shook her head, staring out the window. “I’m not counting my mistakes, Jack. I’m counting yours.”
The words hit me like a punch in the gut. “What?”
“Every time you break one of your vows, I make a mark,” she said quietly. “When you interrupt me, when you don’t listen, when you say you’ll do something and don’t. I’ve been keeping track since our wedding.”
On our wedding day, I promised Sarah the world in my vows. I vowed never to lie, to always listen without interrupting, and to be there every time she needed me, no matter what. It was a long list of grand, heartfelt promises that sounded perfect in the moment, but looking back, they were almost impossible to keep.
I felt the blood drain from my face. “You’re counting my mistakes? Why?”
“Because I want to know when I’ve had enough,” she said, her voice breaking. “When you reach 1,000 marks, I’m leaving.”
I pulled the car over, my heart pounding. “You’re going to leave me? For breaking some stupid promises?”
“They’re not stupid promises,” she snapped. “They’re our wedding vows, Jack. You made them to me, and you’ve broken every single one.”
I stared at her, stunned. How had we gotten here? How had I missed this? I’d thought she was being hard on herself, but I was the one who’d been careless, dismissive. I wanted to be angry, but I couldn’t. I was too shocked, too hurt.
When we got home, I couldn’t sleep. I called Diane, desperate for answers.
“Sarah told me what she’s doing,” I said. “Why didn’t you stop her?”
Diane sighed. “I did the same thing with my past husbands. I thought it would help, but it just drove us apart. It ruined my marriages.”
“Then why let her—”
“I tried to tell her,” she interrupted gently. “But she needs to see it for herself. I count good days now, Jack. Good things my husband does. It changed everything.”
I hung up, feeling more lost than ever. I could only hope that my mother-in-law’s words fell on fertile ground.
That evening, Sarah came home with tears in her eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around me. “I didn’t realize how much this was hurting us.”
I held her close, feeling a mix of relief and hope. “Let’s forget the tally marks,” I said softly. “Let’s start fresh.”
The next day, I bought a new notebook—one for us to fill with good memories and happy moments. We made our first entry that night, writing about a quiet dinner we shared, laughing and talking like we hadn’t in months.
As we moved forward, the notebook became a symbol of our promise to focus on the positives and grow together. The tally marks were gone, replaced by stories of joy, love, and gratitude. We were finally on the same page, and it felt like the beginning of something beautiful.
Leave a Reply