A man on a fIight to Chicago suddenly found himself having an urgent need to use the bathroom. He headed over to the men’s room, nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the door, it was occupied.
A stewardess noticed his predicament and told him, I’ll let you use the ladies’ room, but on one condition – don’t touch the buttons on the wall! The man breathed a sigh of reIief while sitting on the toilet, and his attention drifted to the buttons on the wall. The buttons were marked “WW, WA, PP and ATR”.
Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding the importance of what a woman says, the man let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway.
He carefully pressed the first button marked “WW” and immediately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom. He thought, Wow, this is strangeIy pleasant, women really have it made!
Still curious, he pressed the button marked “WA” and a gentle breeze of warm air quickly dried his hind quarters.
This is amazing!” he thought, Men’s rooms having nothing like this! He then pressed the button marked “PP”, which yielded a large powder puff that delicately appIied a soft talc to his rear.
Well, naturally he couldn’t resist the last button marked “ATR”, and then everything went black. When he woke up in the hospital he panicked and buzzed for the nurse. When she appeared, he cried out, “What happened to me?! The last thing I remember, I was in the Iadies’ room on a plane!
The nurse replied, Yes, I’m sure you were having a great time until you pressed the ‘ATR’ button, which stands for ‘Automatic Tampon Remover.’
Betty, Dublin Zoo’s longest resident and oldest chimp in human care, dead at 62 — rest in peace
Betty, the chimpanzee that had been at the Dublin Zoo for the longest and the oldest living chimp under human care, passed away last week at the age of 62. She was one of the zoo’s most cherished and well-known inmates.
A zoo blog article claims that Betty had age-related ailments that were impairing her quality of life, and the tough choice to end her life was made to spare her from suffering in the future.
Although it is heartbreaking to lose Betty, she enjoyed a lengthy life that exceeded the average lifespan of a chimpanzee in captivity. According to the zoo, she was also the oldest chimpanzee in human care at the time of her death.
Team leader Helen Clarke Bennett of Dublin Zoo, who has worked as a zookeeper since 1987 and has known Betty for many years, paid tribute to her.
In 1964, a West African chimpanzee named Betty made her way to Dublin. Bennett notes that Betty participated in archaic practices like “Chimp Tea Parties” and that the Dublin Zoo continued to operate in the “style of the early Victorian era zoos” throughout that period.
Betty saw major advancements in zoo standards throughout her decades-long confinement. For example, in the 1990s, the chimp habitat was transformed from a metal-barred concrete “pit” to an island with trees.
Bennett claimed to have known Betty since the zoo’s early years since Michael Clarke, Betty’s father, was looking after her at the time. The chimp was “always strong-minded,” according to him, and would not give up on her goals.
After Wendy moved in 1964, Betty’s best friend, Wendy, became an integral part of her life for the majority of it. One of the cutest pairs in the zoo was formed by the two monkeys.
“Wendy had a cheeky side, but Betty could hold her accountable!” Bennett penned the piece. “When Wendy was obstinately refusing to go outside while the habitat was being cleaned, Betty putting her arm around her to encourage her to go outside with the rest of the troop will always be one of my favorite pictures.”
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Betty and Wendy celebrated their 50th birthdays together in 2012 at the zoo. The zoo workers believed that Betty, who was devastated by Wendy’s death in 2014, wouldn’t be far behind.
She even managed to live on for a further ten years, rising to the rank of dominating female chimpanzee and earning the title of longest-serving inhabitant of the zoo.
Bennett stated that Betty experienced reduced kidney function and chronic arthritis in her latter years, which affected her weight and mobility. She was also under continuous wellness management.
They had to make the tough but humane decision to end the beloved chimp’s life after all medicinal and surgical alternatives had been tried. Even though Betty is no longer with us, she will always be cherished as a unique original and a zoogoer’s favorite for many decades to come.
“Although I am really saddened to bid farewell to a friend I have known since I was a young child, I am sure that Betty’s euthanasia was the right choice, ensuring that she didn’t suffer needlessly and preserving her dignity to the very end. That gives me a great deal of comfort,” Bennett wrote.
“Everyone here at Dublin Zoo as well as the many generations of visitors who were fortunate enough to know her will miss Betty terribly; there will never be another like her.”
Peace be with you, Betty. You lived a very long life, and it’s obvious that your loved ones and caregivers cherished you.
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