The hit 1972 sitcom “M*A*S*H” introduced the world to a number of memorable and beloved characters, from the smart-mouthed yet compassionate Captain Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce to his endearing friend, Captain B.J. Hunnicutt. Almost every character had stuck in the minds of the fans.
One of the characters that often featured but was easily overlooked by his military counterparts due to his nervous nature was the 4077 MASH unit’s company clerk, Corporal Walter Eugene “Radar” O’Reilly. Although many of the staff on the base tended to take Radar’s effort for granted, the fans sure noticed him.
Radar was portrayed by the acclaimed actor Gary Burghoff from the start of the TV show in 1972 until the seventh season, which aired in 1979. Although fans clamored for more of the unassuming clerk, Burghoff revealed that he needed to step away from the show to rekindle his personal relationships and fight burnout.
“M*A*S*H’s” Influence and Burghoff’s Personal Identity
Although Burghoff enjoyed playing Radar, the role became increasingly demanding. The actor commented that it became difficult to separate himself from his character in the eyes of the public, which soon became tedious. He also noted that he despised being fawned over by the crowds:
“Aw, I know I’m cute. Cute, cute, CUTE! I was always cute because I was always the smallest kid on the block. I hate cute.”
Everyone saw Burghoff as an adorable, short, timid character as they’d known him on-screen and on the stage for many years. However, after years of being looked down upon, both metaphorically and physically speaking, Burghoff grew tired of the persona so easily attributed to him by scores of people he had never even met.
The actor lashed out against this view of him as a cute little fellow by defending his height. As he so rightly pointed out, 5 feet 6 inches isn’t irregularly short, and he would have seen the tops of Arte Johnson or Mickey Rooney’s heads had they ever met. Nonetheless, the persona stuck.
Luckily for all his fans, Burghoff didn’t let his disability stand in his way, and he pursued his dream of becoming an actor.
Despite his misgivings about how others perceived him, Burghoff’s fellow cast members adored him. The director Charles Dubin recalled working with Burghoff before he left “M*A*S*H,” noting how caring and pleasant Burghoff was to everyone on set. However, Burghoff had another aspect of himself that drove down his self-esteem.
Burghoff had been born with a congenital disability called Brachydactyly, a form of Poland Syndrome. The condition left the actor with three fingers on his left hand that were noticeably smaller than the rest of his digits, and the abnormality had plagued him since he was a small child. The actor commented:
“Of course, this defect affected me while I was growing up. I suppose when I was very young, I knew my disability would set me apart and make me special.”
Luckily for all his fans, Burghoff didn’t let his disability stand in his way, and he pursued his dream of becoming an actor. Yet, becoming a fan-favorite on one of the most iconic TV shows America had ever produced never managed to quell his insecurities about his stout fingers and stocky frame.
Throughout his run on “M*A*S*H,” Burghoff tried to hide his left hand from the camera. He would often position himself so that the camera could only see one side of his body and usually gestured with his right if the scene required it, although the actor would be obligated to use both hands now and again.
In one of the earliest episodes, viewers were introduced to Radar as he stood in an open area, wearing a greyish shirt and his trademark cap. As the actor turned around and looked at the sky — once again hearing approaching helicopters before everyone else — the camera briefly panned over both his hands holding a football.
When Colonel Sherman T. Potter first made his appearance on the show, taking over from the beloved Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake, Radar and the new commander shared a scene where they first met. As Colonel Potter exited the room to find the latrines, the camera centered on Burghoff’s upper body as he opened a box with both hands.
Another infamous scene caught Burghoff with both hands on camera. During a regular morning salute, with the loathsome Major Frank Burns leading the ceremony, Radar does his usual morning salute with a bugle. In a hilarious twist, one of the men fires off the ceremonial canon at Burns’s behest.
Naturally, Radar gets the short end of the stick as the cannonball flies directly at him, knocking his instrument clean out of his hands. In the next few seconds, Burghoff turns toward the camera in a pantomime of rage, balling his fists and stomping in outrage. Here, both his hands can be seen for a brief second.
In one of the later episodes, the writers showed off Radar’s softer side when he cuddled his pet guinea pig, Babette. Naturally, Radar stood with his left hand beneath his right, but just as he started to sing, Father John Mulcahy called for him. Burghoff’s hands were visible again as he put the Babette away.
One of the scenes where Burghoff openly showed his left hand came as part of another gag the show pulled. At the start of the scene, Radar could be seen walking across a dirt road while two other military personnel walked away from the camera. The man on Radar’s right first lifted his hand in salute, followed shortly by one on the left.
Radar, the pleasant character he was, lifted his right hand in response to the first salute, as military etiquette dictates. Caught off guard by the quick second salute, Radar lifted his left hand as well, essentially performing a double salute. Feeling sheepish, he frowned and lowered his hands slowly in one of Burghoff’s classic displays of confusion.
I Overheard My Neighbor’s Daughter and My Husband Discussing Their Affair – Instead of Making a Scene, I Invited Her to Our House the Next Day
When Lexie overhears her husband and the neighbor’s daughter discussing their affair, she doesn’t cry or confront them. Instead, she plans. With a clever invitation and a jaw-dropping twist, she flips the script on their betrayal, serving up karma with a side of sass. Revenge has never been this satisfying.
My husband, Mark, and I had been married for ten years. Two kids, a mortgage, and what I thought was a solid life bound us together. Sure, Mark wasn’t much help around the house.
He didn’t cook, clean, or manage the endless chaos of raising kids.
A smiling woman | Source: Midjourney
That was all me.
Exhausting?
Absolutely.
But I told myself it was fine because “we’re a team, Lexie.”
Except, apparently, Mark had decided to join a different team altogether.
It started with a bag of groceries.
Bags of groceries | Source: Midjourney
I had just pulled into the driveway after a grueling trip to the store. My car was packed with heavy bags and I was mentally preparing for the solo effort of hauling everything inside.
Mark, as usual, wouldn’t lift a finger.
That’s when I heard voices coming from the porch.
A woman holding a bag of groceries | Source: Midjourney
It was Mark, chatting with Emma, our neighbor’s 25-year-old daughter who’d recently moved back to town. Her parents were so proud when she got into her internship after she studied interior design.
Now, she and Mark stood there laughing like old friends.
I almost called out to say hello, but something made me stop.
I ducked behind my car, hidden by the shadows and groceries, and listened.
A couple on a porch | Source: Midjourney
“I can’t believe she hasn’t figured it out yet,” Emma said, her laughter ringing through the cool afternoon air.
Mark chuckled in response.
“She’s so busy with the kids and the house, Em. Lexie barely notices anything else. She’s gotten so gray, too. But she just brushes her hair the other way to cover it up. Honestly, she’s let herself go so much. She doesn’t even look like a woman to me anymore. She’s nothing compared to you, my princess.”
Emma giggled.
A man holding his head | Source: Midjourney
“Well, lucky for you, mister, I’m here now. You can parade me all your want. And trust me, there’s no gray hair in sight.”
Then they kissed.
Kissed?!
I clutched a bag so tightly that I could feel the plastic starting to tear. My vision blurred with tears, the humiliation and rage coursing through me. They continued their conversation, the shameless flirting, all oblivious to my presence.
A shocked woman | Source: Midjourney
But other than those few tears, I didn’t cry properly. I didn’t scream or shout. I didn’t confront them.
Instead, I quietly carried the groceries inside, using the back door, and started my planning.
The next morning, I woke up with a calmness that surprised even me. I made Mark breakfast, his eggs fluffy and the bacon extra crispy. I made his coffee with a dash of cinnamon, just the way he liked it. I kissed him goodbye and waved cheerfully as he left for work.
A plate of food | Source: Midjourney
Once he was gone, I walked next door and knocked on Emma’s door.
She opened it, visibly surprised.
“Oh! Hi, Mrs…Um, hi, Lexie,” she stammered, her smile overly bright.
“Hi, Emma,” I said warmly. “I was wondering if you could come over tomorrow evening. I could really use your advice on something.”
A woman standing at a front door | Source: Midjourney
She blinked, her smile faltering.
“Advice? On what?”
“Well,” I hesitated, letting my voice sound unsure. “I’ve been thinking about redecorating the living room. Your parents mentioned you studied design, and I thought you could help pick out colors or furniture ideas. It’ll just take a little while.”
A bohemian themed living room | Source: Midjourney
For a moment, doubt flickered in her eyes. Then she tilted her head, a sly smile forming.
“Oh, I’d love to help! What time?”
“I think seven will be fine? Dinner time!” I said, my own smile sweet and sincere. “Thanks so much, Emma. You’re a lifesaver.”
Emma showed up the next evening, dressed to impress. She greeted me with her usual cheerful demeanor, practically radiating confidence.
A smiling woman | Source: Midjourney
I welcomed her warmly and led her inside.
“Oh, before we get to the living room,” I said casually. “I wanted to show you a few things.”
I guided her though the house, pointing out key areas of domestic responsibility.
“Here’s the dishwasher. You’ll need to load it every night because Mark doesn’t bother, of course. The kids’ laundry goes here, but please, be sure to separate the loads, since they’re sensitive to different detergents.”
A laundry room | Source: Midjourney
She just stared at me.
“Oh, and here’s the schedule for their after-school activities. You’ll need to pick them up on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but Wednesdays are free for errands. I’ve written down the plumber, electrician, and pediatrician’s numbers. Just in case.”
Emma’s smile faltered, her face growing pale.
“And this,” I said, leading her into the kitchen, where the smell of a roast chicken filled the room.
A cozy kitchen | Source: Midjourney
“This is where you’ll prep all the meals. And let me tell you, other than the breakfasts, and different school and work lunches, there are snacks and desserts and it’s all just a lot. Mark likes his steak medium-rare, by the way. The kids will only eat steak if it’s cooked all the way through. The deader the better.”
She gasped.
“Don’t expect Mark to say thank you, manners are not his thing. The kids are picky eaters, I’m sorry to say, but you’ll figure it out.”
Steak on a plate | Source: Midjourney
She stared at me, wide-eyed.
“Uh, Lexie. I’m not sure… I don’t think… I didn’t offer to babysit them.”
Just then, Mark walked in. His face went pale the moment he saw us.
“Lex, what’s going on?” he asked, his voice tight and high-pitched.
A woman looking confused | Source: Midjourney
“Oh,” I said brightly. “I probably should have included you in this, too. But I’m just showing Emma how to run the house. Since you think I’ve let myself go, I figured that it’s time for me to prioritize myself. And also, maybe it’s time for me to find someone who sees me as his princess. Emma, you’ll be taking over everything I do. Good luck!”
Before either of them could respond, there was a knock on the door.
I opened it to reveal Emma’s parents. The same couple who often babysat my kids if I was in a bind.
A shocked man | Source: Midjourney
“Oh! It smells delicious! I told Annie that you were going to make your roast chicken, Lexie,” Emma’s father said, joyfully.
“Thanks for coming, Anne and Howard. And thank you for raising such a helpful daughter,” I said. “She and Mark have grown so close that I thought it was time to make her part of the family.”
“Wait, what?” Anne asked, her eyebrows furrowed.
A smiling man | Source: Midjourney
“I’m leaving and Emma’s going to take care of everything now! You must be so proud of your little girl.”
Emma’s mom looked confused. Her dad, on the other hand, livid.
“Emma,” her mom said. “Tell me that this isn’t true. Tell me that this isn’t what I think it is.”
“It’s not what it looks like!” Emma stammered.
A close up of a woman | Source: Midjourney
Mark, ever the coward, tried to shift the blame.
“Lexie, this isn’t fair! Emma came to me! She came onto me!”
“Oh, did she?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “So, you’re saying that you’re not responsible for sneaking around with a 25-year-old while insulting your wife?”
He opened his mouth to argue, but Howard cut him off.
“Mark, this is on you. Emma, this is equally on you. Let’s leave. Now.”
A man holding his head | Source: Midjourney
Emma shot me a venomous glare before storming out. Her parents followed, muttering a thousand apologies as they went.
Mark turned to me, desperation etched across his face.
“Lexie, please, babe,” he said. “Let’s talk about this. We’ve been together for so long… you owe me a conversation, at least.”
“Oh, sweetie,” I said. “We’ll talk, don’t you worry. My lawyer will call you tomorrow. But for now, I think you should pack your bags and leave.”
An upset man | Source: Midjourney
“Where will I go?” he asked pathetically. “My family lives in a different state.”
“I don’t really care, Mark,” I said, taking the chicken out of the oven. “Go to a motel. Go to a friend. Join the circus.”
“And the kids? Where are the kids?”
“They’re with my sister. And they’ll stay there until you sort your nonsense out. You can tell them the truth after the lawyers work out a settlement. I’m not going down without a fight, Mark.”
A roast chicken on a tray | Source: Midjourney
A week later, I heard through the grapevine that Emma had dumped Mark.
“It was fun while it lasted, but I didn’t sign up to play mom. To him or his kids.”
Two weeks later, Mark came back.
“What do you want?” I asked, seeing the bunch of flowers in his hand.
A man holding a bouquet of flowers | Source: Midjourney
“I’ve been so miserable without you,” he said, practically begging. “Please, let me come back. Please, Lexie. We can fix this. I miss my kids. I miss our family.”
“I don’t care, Mark!” I blurted out. “I truly don’t care. Now, if you don’t have anything productive to do here, then leave. The kids are at a playdate, and I’m only fetching them in a few hours.”
Then, I closed the door, leaving him speechless.
An upset woman | Source: Midjourney
It’s been months since that night, and I’ve never been happier. I’ve rediscovered pieces of myself I thought were long gone. I’ve started taking up salsa dancing, and with that, my confidence, joy and freedom came flooding in.
Amid the chaos, my kids and I have found a new rhythm, one filled with laughter and love.
As for Mark? He’s still single. And from what I hear, Emma’s parents aren’t thrilled with her either. But Anne does bake cakes and pies and sends them over often. And Howard likes to rake up the leaves in our front yard.
Karma’s a funny thing, isn’t it?
A happy woman | Source: Midjourney
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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