Grappling with his son’s suicide, Michael Madsen still hopes to find answers

Actor Michael Madsen of Reservoir Dogs received a final text from his child that said, “I love you dad,” and nothing more.

According to his father, 26-year-old Hudson Madsen, a prominent Hollywood actor’s son, shot himself in the head after completing his first tour as a U.S. Army Sergeant stationed in Hawaii.

Star of the Kill Bill franchise Madsen told the LA Times, “I am in shock as my son, whom I just spoke with a few days ago, said he was happy-my last text from him was ‘I love you dad.’”

“I saw no indications of depression. It is so terrible and tragic. He went on, “I’m just trying to make sense of it and comprehend what happened.

Hudson, the oldest child of Madsen and his wife DeAnna Madsen, had Quentin Tarantino as his godfather. The next oldest kids were brothers Luke and Kalvin. Madsen has two more boys, Christian and Max, with his former spouse Jeannine Bisignano.


In 2019, he wed Carlie, who posted encouraging remarks about their love on social media. Carlie’s social media accounts reveal that the couple, unable to conceive naturally, was thinking about doing IVF.

Just one week before he died on January 22, 2022, Carlie posted a selfie of herself wearing a hospital gown to Instagram, captioning it with the news that she had recently had a tumor removed.

She continues in the post, “I just want to give a shout-out to my amazing husband!” Throughout the entire process, he has shown a great deal of patience. I had surgery on one of my breasts yesterday to remove a tumor. Carlie went on, “We spent approximately seven hours at the hospital yesterday. He went to Target and purchased me a card, flowers, cozy pajamas, and my favorite candy while I was in surgery! He has also been tremendous in aiding with my recuperation, and I am incredibly appreciative.

A few weeks later, she posted a sweet photo of herself and Hudson to Twitter with the straightforward message, “I miss you so much.” The circumstances surrounding Hudson’s suicide baffled everyone.

According to Madsen, the 64-year-old father expressed his distress about his suicide by saying, “He had typical life challenges that people have with finances, but he wanted a family.” This is mind-blowing, since he was thinking about his future. I just don’t know what went wrong.

The Once Upon a Time in Hollywood actor Madsen also revealed that, despite his outward contentment, his son—who had served in Afghanistan—was struggling with mental health concerns. The actor claimed that because his son was keeping his difficulties to himself, he stopped getting counseling when he needed it.

Madsen felt “that officers and rank and file were shaming,” so he asked the military to look into it. However, the investigation’s findings are still under wraps.

Known for his work on Quentin Tarantino’s gory comedies, Madsen was arrested in Malibu at the mansion he had just been evicted from, one month after Hudson committed herself. Madsen was charged with trespassing and was given bail.

The actor has a past criminal history; TMZ reports that he was charged with child endangerment in 2012 and with DUI in 2019 following an SUV accident.

When the actor entered his house and saw that his teenage son was using marijuana, the two got into a fight.According to TMZ, Madsen and his young son got into a violent altercation, and when the police arrived, they saw multiple injuries on the boy. According to reports, Madsen looked to be intoxicated when he was taken into custody. Madsen’s name was disclosed, but not that of the son.

After Hudson passed away, the family released a statement in which they said, “We are crushed and overwhelmed with grief and pain at the loss of Hudson.” His memory and light will live on in the hearts of all those who were acquainted with and loved him.

Carlie posts a poignant homage to her spouse, whom she affectionately refers to as “Lump,” on Instagram on January 23, 2023.I have no idea how a year has passed without you. The pain is still exactly the same as it was that day. Every morning when I wake up and every evening before I go to sleep, my thoughts always turn to you. How much I miss you and how much I hurt is beyond words.

“I simply wish you would have spoken with me and told me what was going on that day,” she said. I apologize if you believed that there was no other way to turn things around. I apologize for not seeing the symptoms and for not being able to do more. Regretfully, I let you down. Please know that you are never far from my thoughts or side. Lump, I love you more and I miss you a lot.

Hudson Madsen passed away tragically, leaving behind a husband, best friend, son, and hero. If someone needs to hear it, this is the perfect opportunity to let them know how much you care.

There is always help available, and don’t forget that if you want to talk to someone anonymously, you can call the Suicide Hotline in the United States and Canada at 9-8-8.

Just a Month After Mom’s Death, Dad Brought a Young Mistress Into Our Home for Christmas – I Was Shocked When I Saw Her

Just a month after my mother lost her battle with cancer, Dad brought his mistress home for Christmas and introduced her as my “NEW MOM.” My heart shattered, but it wasn’t the only thing that left me shaken.

My hands won’t stop trembling as I write this. I need to share about a Christmas dinner that turned into a nightmare and showed me how quickly a family can shatter. There are some moments you wish you could forget, but they end up teaching you the hardest lessons about life, grief, and what it means to move on.

An upset woman | Source: Pexels

An upset woman | Source: Pexels

It’s been exactly one month since we buried Mom. For three years she fought cancer, and even at the end, she never stopped being… Mom. I remember her last day so clearly — the beeping machines, the afternoon sunlight streaming through the hospital window, and how she squeezed my hand with surprising strength.

“Lily, sweetheart,” she whispered, her voice raspy but determined. “Promise me something?”

“Anything, Mom.” I was trying so hard not to cry.

“Take care of your sisters. And your father… he doesn’t do well alone. Never has.” She smiled that soft smile of hers. “But make sure he remembers me?”

“How could anyone forget you?” I choked out.

That was our last real conversation. She slipped away the next morning, with my sisters Sarah and Katie holding one hand and me holding the other.

People at a funeral | Source: Pexels

People at a funeral | Source: Pexels

The first week after the funeral, I moved back home. Dad seemed lost, wandering the house like a ghost. I’d find him standing near Mom’s closet, just staring at her clothes. Or sitting in her garden, touching the roses she’d tended so carefully.

“He’s not eating,” Katie reported during our daily sister check-in calls. “I brought over lasagna, and it’s still sitting untouched in the fridge.”

“Same with the casserole I made,” Sarah added. “Should we be worried?”

I thought we should be. But then everything changed.

It started small. Two weeks after the funeral, Dad cleaned out Mom’s closet without telling any of us. Just boxed everything up and dropped it at the local charity.

An empty wardrobe | Source: Pexels

An empty wardrobe | Source: Pexels

“Her favorite sweater?” I asked, horrified when I found out. “The blue one she always wore for Christmas?”

“It’s just taking up space, Lily,” he said, suddenly practical. “Your mom wouldn’t want us dwelling.”

A few days later, he joined a gym. He started getting haircuts at some trendy place instead of the salon where Mom had known the owner for 20 years. He bought new clothes and even started humming while doing dishes. At 53, Dad was starting to act like a 20-year-old young man.

“He’s handling it differently,” Katie insisted during one of our emergency meetings at my apartment. “Everyone grieves in their own way.”

I was pacing, unable to sit still. “This isn’t grief. He’s acting like he just got released from prison instead of losing his wife of 30 years.”

A distressed woman | Source: Midjourney

A distressed woman | Source: Midjourney

Sarah curled up on my couch and tried to keep peace. “Maybe he’s trying to stay strong for us? You know how Mom always worried about him being alone.”

“There’s a difference between being strong and whatever this is,” I said, watching through my window as night fell over the city. “Something’s not right.”

I had no idea how not right things were about to get.

“Girls,” Dad called us into the living room one evening, his voice weirdly excited. “Family meeting. I have something important to tell you.”

He’d gotten all dressed up — a new shirt, pressed slacks, and polished shoes. He’d even put on cologne. Mom’s picture smiled down from the mantel as we gathered, and I swear Dad’s eyes looked delighted.

A senior man in a suit | Source: Pexels

A senior man in a suit | Source: Pexels

“I’ve met someone special,” he announced, practically bouncing on his feet. “Her name is Amanda, and I want you all to meet her.”

The silence that followed was deafening. Katie’s face went white. Sarah started fidgeting with her ring.

“What exactly do you mean you’ve met someone?” My voice came out strangled.

Dad’s smile never wavered. “I mean I’m not getting any younger, Lily. Life goes on. Amanda makes me happy, and I want her to be part of our family.”

“Part of our family?” Katie’s voice cracked. “Dad, Mom’s been gone for three weeks!”

“And what am I supposed to do?” He crossed his arms. “Sit alone in this empty house forever?”

A stunned young woman facing a man | Source: Midjourney

A stunned young woman facing a man | Source: Midjourney

“Maybe grieve?” I suggested, my anger rising. “Remember your wife? Our mother?”

“I am grieving,” he snapped. “But I’m also living. Your mother wouldn’t want me to be lonely all my life, girls!”

“Don’t.” I stood up. “Don’t you dare tell us what Mom would want. You don’t get to use her to justify this.”

Dad just walked away, scowling, leaving the three of us in a daze.

A week later, he dropped the next bomb.

“Christmas dinner,” he announced over the phone. “I want Amanda to join us.”

Close-up of a man holding his coat | Source: Pexels

Close-up of a man holding his coat | Source: Pexels

I nearly dropped my coffee mug. “You’re bringing her to Christmas dinner? Mom’s favorite holiday?”

“It’s the perfect time for everyone to meet,” he said, sounding irritatingly reasonable. “Amanda’s excited to meet you all. She’s even offered to help cook.”

“Help cook?” I gripped the phone tighter. “In Mom’s kitchen? Using Mom’s recipes?”

“Lily—”

“Mom’s been gone for four weeks, Dad. Four. Weeks.”

“And what should I do?” His voice rose. “Cancel Christmas? Sit alone while my daughters judge me?”

“Maybe respect Mom’s memory? Remember 30 years of marriage? The woman who spent last Christmas in the hospital still trying to make it special for everyone?”

A furious woman | Source: Midjourney

A furious woman | Source: Midjourney

“I’m still your father,” he said sharply. “And Amanda is coming to Christmas dinner. That’s final.”

“Fine.” I hung up and immediately called my sisters.

“He’s lost his mind,” Katie declared during our emergency video chat. “Completely lost it.”

Sarah looked like she might cry. “What do we do?”

I had an idea forming. A terrible, perfect idea.

Christmas Eve arrived cold and snowy. I spent the morning in Mom’s kitchen making her stuffing recipe. Every few minutes I caught myself turning to ask her a question, the grief hitting fresh each time I remembered she wasn’t there.

A woman decorating a Christmas tree | Source: Pexels

A woman decorating a Christmas tree | Source: Pexels

Katie arrived early to help, bringing Mom’s special tablecloth, the one with tiny embroidered holly leaves that Mom would spend hours ironing each year.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Katie admitted as we set the table. “Kept thinking about Mom, how she’d make us polish the silver until it sparkled.”

“Remember how she’d position everything just right?” Sarah added, arriving with pies. “The centerpiece had to be exactly in the middle.”

“And the photos,” I smiled sadly. “So many photos before anyone could eat.”

“Dad would complain his food was getting cold,” Katie laughed, then stopped abruptly. “God, I miss her.”

A sad woman with her eyes downcast | Source: Midjourney

A sad woman with her eyes downcast | Source: Midjourney

The doorbell rang at exactly six. Dad rushed to answer it, checking his reflection in the hall mirror first.

“Everyone,” his voice boomed with pride, “this is Amanda.”

I was stunned. She couldn’t have been older than 25. Long blonde hair, expensive boots, perfect makeup. She looked like she could have been our younger sister. My father looked like he’d won the lottery.

“This is your new MOM!” He announced, his arm around her waist. “I hope you all got her something nice for Christmas!”

Katie dropped her wine glass. The red spread across Mom’s white tablecloth like a wound, the holly leaves disappearing under the stain.

A woman smiling | Source: Midjourney

A woman smiling | Source: Midjourney

Dinner was excruciating. Amanda kept trying to make a conversation, her voice high and nervous.

“This stuffing is amazing,” she said. “Family recipe?”

“My mother’s recipe,” I replied, emphasizing each word. “She made it every Christmas for 30 years. This was her favorite holiday.”

“Oh.” Amanda pushed food around her plate. “I’m so sorry about your loss. George told me—”

“George?” I cut her off with a wicked grin. “You mean Dad?”

Dad cleared his throat. “Lily!”

A woman grinning | Source: Midjourney

A woman grinning | Source: Midjourney

“No, I want to know… when exactly did he tell you about Mom? Before or after he asked you out?”

“Lily, stop,” Dad whispered.

“Did he tell you she spent three years fighting cancer? That she was still having chemo this time last year?” I couldn’t stop. “That she made him promise to keep our family together?”

“That’s enough!” Dad’s voice thundered across the table.

Amanda looked close to tears. “I should probably—”

“No, stay,” Dad insisted. “Family gets uncomfortable sometimes. That’s normal.”

A startled woman | Source: Midjourney

A startled woman | Source: Midjourney

“Family?” I laughed bitterly. “She’s practically my age, Dad. This isn’t family. It’s creepy.”

“Present time!” Dad announced after dinner, desperate to change the mood. He’d always played Santa, but watching him do it now felt wrong.

I watched Amanda open gifts — a scarf from Katie, a gift card from Sarah. Then she reached for my carefully wrapped box.

“Oh, it’s beautiful,” she gasped, lifting out the antique jewelry box. Mom’s favorite, the one she’d kept her wedding ring in. “Thank you, Lily. This is so thoughtful.”

“Open it,” I said softly. “There’s something special inside.”

A woman holding a gift box | Source: Pexels

A woman holding a gift box | Source: Pexels

The room fell silent as she lifted the lid. Inside lay a photograph of Mom in her garden last summer, surrounded by her roses and all three of us girls beside her. Her last good day before the hospital. Her smile was still bright and full of life, even though we knew what was coming.

Beneath it lay my note: “You are not my mother. No one will ever replace her. Remember that.”

Amanda’s hands started shaking. “I… I need to go.”

“Honey, wait—” Dad reached for her, but she was already running, leaving her coat and muffler behind as she fled into the snowy night.

A woman walking away | Source: Pexels

A woman walking away | Source: Pexels

Dad came back inside alone, snow melting on his shoulders, his face ashen.

“What did you do?” he demanded.

“I gave her a reality check,” I stood my ground. “Did you really think you could replace Mom with someone my age and we’d just accept it?”

“You had no right,” he growled. “You’re not letting me live my life!”

“Live your life? Mom’s been dead for four weeks! Her side of the bed isn’t even cold!” I was shouting now, years of watching Mom suffer, weeks of watching Dad move on, all pouring out at once. “Did you even love her?”

An angry woman | Source: Pexels

An angry woman | Source: Pexels

“How dare you?” His voice broke. “I loved your mother for 30 years. I watched her fight. I watched her die. But she’s gone, Lily. She’s gone, and I’m still here. What am I supposed to do?”

“Not this,” I whispered, tears finally falling. “Anything but this.”

Katie and Sarah stood frozen, Christmas tree lights casting shadows on their tears. Outside, the snow continued to fall, covering Amanda’s footprints as she’d run away from our family’s broken pieces.

My dad blamed me for not letting him move on, but I think his actions were deeply disrespectful to my late mother. I firmly believe I did the right thing by defending her memory and making it unequivocally clear to Amanda that she could never fill my mother’s shoes.

A woman sitting on the couch | Source: Midjourney

A woman sitting on the couch | Source: Midjourney

This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.

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