Narcissism is a phenomenon in which a person with low self-esteem is afraid of losing authority in the eyes of others, and they begin to manipulate their friends, colleagues, and family to appear better than they really are. These people are so determined. We decided to imagine what it’s like to have your beloved mother like this.
They have a distorted perception of love and achievement, making it nearly impossible for them to make you feel good enough.
Their self-worth hinges on external validation and a facade of perfection. This creates a moving target for your worth in their eyes. You can achieve great things, but their praise might be laced with criticism, or they might simply shift the goalposts to a new, unattainable standard. This leaves you perpetually striving for an unachievable level of approval.
Additionally, their happiness is often transactional. They dole out affection when it suits them, leaving you confused about what truly earns their love. This inconsistency fosters insecurity and self-doubt, making you question your own value no matter what you accomplish. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s inability to offer genuine, unconditional love creates a core belief that you’ll never be good enough, regardless of your efforts.
Narcissistic mothers won’t let their kids’ successes overshadow their own.
Narcissistic mothers crave attention and view their children’s achievements through a distorted lens. While they might brag about their child’s successes superficially, they can’t handle being outshined. This stems from a deep insecurity and a fragile sense of self. Their child’s triumphs become a threat, rather than a source of pride. They may downplay the accomplishment, subtly criticize, or even try to one-up their child with their own past glories, all to maintain a sense of superiority.
She’s only worried about her own problems.
A narcissistic mother’s world often revolves around herself, leaving little room for her child’s emotions or experiences. Their own needs for validation and admiration take priority. They struggle to empathize with their child’s struggles, viewing them as inconveniences or attention-grabbing tactics. This is because the narcissist lacks the emotional maturity to see their child as a separate being with valid feelings. Their child’s problems become burdens to be managed, rather than opportunities for connection and support.
These mothers humiliate their children.
There are a couple of reasons why narcissistic mothers might resort to humiliating their children. One is to maintain control. By publicly criticizing, mocking, or exaggerating their child’s flaws, the mother keeps them feeling insecure and dependent. This fragile self-esteem makes the child less likely to challenge the mother’s authority or seek independence.
Another reason is to bolster the narcissist’s own fragile ego. Putting their child down creates a clear hierarchy where the mother is always superior. This can be especially pronounced if the child shows any potential to outshine the mother, triggering a need to cut them down to size. Ultimately, the humiliation serves the narcissist’s own needs for power and self-importance, leaving the child feeling emotionally bruised and diminished.
She makes kids feel guilty for getting something.
Narcissistic mothers often induce guilt in their children for receiving gifts or achieving success because it reinforces their own sense of control. They might make comments like, «You don’t deserve this, there are others who need it more,» implying the child is selfish for wanting something good. This guilt trip serves a few purposes.
Firstly, it keeps the child feeling indebted and obligated to please the mother. Secondly, it deflects attention away from the mother’s inability to be genuinely happy for her child’s good fortune. Ultimately, by making their child feel guilty, the narcissistic mother manipulates the situation to maintain the focus on themselves and their emotional needs.
She thinks she always deserves the best.
A narcissistic mother’s belief in her own deservingness stems from a distorted sense of self-importance. Deep down, she craves admiration and validation, and views herself as superior to others. This inflated ego convinces her that she deserves the best in life, regardless of her actions or contributions. It’s a constant need to be seen as special and entitled.
This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, from expecting lavish gifts and unwavering support to feeling justified in cutting in line or bending the rules. For a narcissistic mother, the «best» isn’t just about material possessions, but also about the constant flow of attention, praise, and control that reinforces her grandiosity.
Her love is unstable. When she needs something, she’s kind. When she doesn’t, she’s rude.
Narcissistic mothers often exhibit a transactional kind of love, where affection is dangled like a carrot. When their needs are unmet, their self-absorption takes center stage. They might become critical, dismissive, or even cold towards their child. Conversely, when they require something — maybe errands run, emotional support, or a public image boost — the kindness faucet turns on.
This emotional inconsistency leaves the child confused and insecure. They never quite know what version of their mother they’ll encounter, creating a constant state of walking on eggshells to avoid the unpredictable shift from loving to cold.
She cares too much about how other people see her.
A narcissistic mother craves external validation and uses how others perceive her as a mirror for her fragile self-esteem. Her self-worth hinges on admiration and a cultivated image of perfection. This makes her hyper-aware of how others view her, particularly in her role as a mother. She might brag excessively about her child’s accomplishments, not necessarily out of pride, but to reflect well on her own parenting skills.
Conversely, any perceived shortcomings in her child become a threat to her image. She might downplay their achievements or even criticize them publicly to maintain a facade of control and superiority in the eyes of others. Ultimately, the well-being and genuine connection with her child become secondary to managing the public perception of a perfect mother and family.
She complains about people that do something against her will.
Narcissistic mothers view any challenge to their control as a personal attack. Their rigid sense of self-importance dictates that things should go their way. When someone, especially their child, dares to act independently or disagree, it triggers a deep sense of entitlement being violated. They may lash out by complaining excessively, playing the victim, or attempting to manipulate the situation back to their desired outcome.
These complaints serve a dual purpose: firstly, to punish the person for disobeying, and secondly, to garner sympathy or support from others, further reinforcing their position of authority. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s complaints about those who defy her are less about the specific action and more about maintaining a power dynamic where she remains in control.
Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters’ beauty. And they pretend to be caring.
A narcissistic mother’s insecurity can turn a daughter’s blossoming beauty into a source of hidden jealousy. They may outwardly offer compliments laced with backhanded remarks, like «You look pretty, but maybe try a different shade of lipstick.» This thinly veiled criticism undermines the daughter’s confidence while maintaining a facade of caring.
Deeper down, the mother might feel threatened by her daughter’s youthful beauty, a stark reminder of her own fading youth and potential loss of attention. This jealousy can manifest in various ways, from sabotaging the daughter’s attempts to dress up for an event to subtly comparing her looks to others. The narcissistic mother’s mask of concern hides a desire to control the narrative, ensuring her daughter’s beauty doesn’t overshadow her own.
She criticizes a lot but almost never gives praise.
Narcissistic mothers often fall into a harsh critic pattern for a few reasons. Firstly, their self-worth is fueled by a need for control and a sense of superiority. Constant criticism keeps their child feeling insecure and dependent, less likely to challenge their authority. Secondly, genuine praise can feel threatening to a narcissist. If their child is successful or confident, it might overshadow the mother’s own perceived importance.
Instead of celebrating their child’s achievements, they might downplay them or even resort to nitpicking flaws. Ultimately, the lack of praise becomes a tool for manipulation. By withholding validation, the narcissistic mother keeps her child striving for approval, a dynamic that reinforces her own sense of power and control.
They’re angry if someone else is in the spotlight.
A narcissistic mother thrives on being the center of attention. Their fragile self-esteem craves constant validation and admiration. When someone else, especially their child, receives praise or recognition, it’s perceived as a direct threat. This triggers a surge of anger because it disrupts their carefully curated image of superiority. They might downplay the other person’s accomplishment, subtly criticize them, or even try to steal the spotlight back to themselves with tales of their own past glories.
This anger isn’t about protecting their child, but about protecting their own inflated sense of self-importance. They can’t bear to share the spotlight, and their reaction reflects a deep-seated insecurity that can leave their child feeling confused and emotionally neglected.
Narcissistic mothers might constantly remind you of the things they’ve done for you.
One is to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By replaying a litany of sacrifices and favors, they make you feel indebted, making it harder to disagree with them or assert your independence. It’s a way to control you through emotional manipulation. Another reason is to inflate their own sense of importance.
Recounting their «good deeds» reinforces their narrative as the selfless caregiver deserving of constant praise and gratitude. Ultimately, these constant reminders are about them, not you. It’s a tactic to maintain power within the relationship and ensure you remain focused on their needs rather than developing your own sense of self.
These narcissistic traits can take a toll. But there’s good news! Our next piece dives into how these experiences shape you, and what you heal from it.
My Sassy Stepmom and Her 4 Adult Kids Wore All White to My Dad’s Funeral – Everyone Gasped When She Took Out a Letter
I expected my father’s funeral to be a day of quiet mourning, a time to honor the man who had held our family together. What I didn’t expect was my stepmom turning it into her personal drama — until a letter from my dad revealed secrets that left her and her kids humiliated in front of everyone.
The day of my dad’s funeral was already one of the hardest days of my life. I’d barely managed to keep myself from breaking down that morning, knowing I was about to say goodbye to the man who had held our family together.
Emotional woman at her dad’s funeral | Source: Midjourney
He’d been sick for a long time, and while we all saw this day coming, nothing prepared me for the suffocating weight of it when it finally arrived.
And then they showed up.
Vivian, my stepmom, waltzed in like she was on a runway, her four adult kids trailing behind her, all dressed in white. Stark, glaring white — like they’d gotten lost on the way to a fancy yacht party.
Everyone else was draped in black, heads bowed, grieving. But not them. No, they strutted in like they were attending some exclusive event, turning heads for all the wrong reasons.
Senior woman and her children wearing white at a funeral | Source: Midjourney
I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. My chest tightened with anger as I pushed through the crowd and made a beeline for her.
“Vivian,” I snapped, my voice low but sharp enough to cut through the soft murmurs around us, “what the hell are you doing? Why are you dressed like—” I gestured wildly at her flowing white dress and her kids’ matching outfits, “—like this at my dad’s funeral?”
She didn’t even flinch. Instead, she gave me this lazy, condescending smile that only made my blood boil more.
Senior woman and young lady talking at a funeral | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, sweetheart,” she said, dragging out the words like I was a child throwing a tantrum. “Don’t get all worked up. Your father wanted this.”
“Wanted this?” I repeated, my voice rising despite my best efforts to stay calm. “There’s no way Dad would’ve—”
She cut me off, reaching into her designer handbag and pulling out a neatly folded envelope. “He wrote me a letter,” she said, holding it out as if it explained everything. “Told me, ‘Vivian, you and the kids are to wear white. It’s my last wish.’”
Senior woman holding an envelope | Source: Midjourney
I stared at the letter in her hand, feeling the eyes of everyone around us. Whispers were already starting to spread through the crowd.
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “There’s no way he—”
“He did, darling,” she interrupted with a sigh, her eyes gleaming as though she was enjoying the scene. “He told me it was going to be something special. You should be grateful we’re honoring his wishes.”
I could hear people gasping behind me, the tension in the room rising with every passing second.
“Are you serious?” I demanded, my voice trembling now. “You really expect me to believe Dad wanted this — to turn his funeral into some… spectacle?”
Senior woman and young lady talking at a funeral | Source: Midjourney
Vivian shrugged, tucking the letter back into her bag. “Believe whatever you want,” she said coolly, “but we’re just following his final instructions. It’s what he wanted.”
I could feel my hands shaking, the rage bubbling up inside me, but before I could say another word, she turned to her kids and said, “Come on, let’s go take our seats. We don’t want to be late.”
I stood there, speechless, as they sauntered toward the front row, leaving me to simmer in a storm of confusion and fury.
Sad young lady at a funeral | Source: Midjourney
The ceremony began, and sure enough, she and her kids took their place in the front row, dressed like they were VIPs at some fancy gala. They soaked in the attention, their white clothes practically glowing against the backdrop of mourners in black.
Just when I thought I couldn’t handle their arrogance anymore, Joe, my dad’s best friend, stepped up to the front. His face was tight with emotion, eyes heavy with grief, but there was something else there too — a tension that made my stomach twist.
Senior man giving a speech at a funeral | Source: Midjourney
He cleared his throat, the room going completely silent as everyone turned their gaze toward him. In his hand, he held a letter.
“Vivian,” he said, his voice firm but calm. He gestured for her to stand, and I could see the tiniest hint of a smirk play on her lips. She rose slowly, her chin lifted like she was about to accept an award. Her kids followed, standing beside her with smug looks of their own.
“This letter…” Joe began, his voice wavering just slightly, “was written by your husband.”
Joe’s voice was steady as he began to read from the letter, and the entire room seemed to hold its breath.
Senior man reading a letter at a funeral | Source: Midjourney
“To my dearest friends and family,” Joe read, his voice thick with emotion. “I want to thank you all for being here today, for honoring my memory. There’s something I need to address, something that’s been weighing on my heart.”
I glanced at Vivian. Her expression, once smug and superior, began to shift. A flicker of unease crept into her eyes as she straightened, her gaze darting nervously around the room.
Senior woman wearing a white dress at a funeral | Source: Midjourney
Joe continued, “I couldn’t help but notice that during my illness, my ex-wife, Martha, was the one who took care of me. She was there when I needed someone the most, while Vivian and her kids were always absent — unless, of course, they needed something from me.”
Vivian’s face drained of color. She stood rigidly, frozen as if willing herself to disappear.
Her kids, who had been sitting confidently, were now nervous, their eyes wide with fear.
Young adults wearing white at a funeral | Source: Midjourney
Murmurs rippled through the crowd like a wave, and I could see people exchanging shocked glances.
“That’s not true!” Vivian suddenly hissed under her breath, but her voice cracked, betraying her fear.
Joe barely paused. “It became clear to me that my new family was more interested in what I could provide than in who I was. And then,” he glanced pointedly at Vivian, “I found out, through my financial adviser, that money had been disappearing from my accounts. We investigated and discovered that Vivian and her children were behind it.”
Senior man reading a letter at a funeral | Source: Midjourney
A collective gasp filled the room. It felt like the walls themselves shuddered with the sound. Vivian’s kids, who had been sitting so confidently, now looked as pale as ghosts, as the eyes of every guest bore down on them.
Vivian’s face contorted in anger, her mask of calm shattering completely. “This is a lie!” she yelled, her voice trembling with fury. “A complete fabrication! You can’t believe this garbage!”
Her hands clenched into fists as she looked wildly around the room as if searching for someone to step in and defend her.
But no one spoke. The silence was deafening.
Joe’s gaze didn’t waver. He raised the letter again and continued, his voice unwavering.
Senior man reading a letter at a funeral | Source: Midjourney
“I knew they would come to my funeral, expecting to play the role of the grieving family. So, I asked them to wear white. I wanted them to stand out, so everyone could see them for what they are.”
Vivian gasped, her eyes wide with disbelief. “You bastard,” she spat, her voice shaking with venomous rage. “You think you can humiliate me in front of everyone like this? You’ll regret this! You all will!”
But Joe didn’t stop. His voice rang out loud and clear, cutting through her rage like a blade. “Vivian, you and your children are no longer welcome here. This is a place for those who loved me for who I was, not for what I could give them. Please leave, and let my true family and friends mourn in peace.”
Senior man reading a letter at a funeral | Source: Midjourney
The silence was suffocating. Every eye in the room was fixed on Vivian and her kids, waiting for their next move. Her face was a chaotic swirl of emotions — shock, rage, humiliation. For a split second, it seemed like she might explode, her eyes wild with fury.
But then, she glanced around and saw the faces of the guests — cold, unforgiving glares. The weight of judgment pressed down on her, and whatever fight she had left in her fizzled out.
Crowd at a funeral | Source: Midjourney
Her kids, once so full of smug confidence, shrank under the scrutiny, their eyes fixed on the floor as if they could disappear into it.
Vivian huffed loudly, her lips curling in disgust. “Fine! This whole thing is a farce anyway,” she spat, yanking her purse from the chair. Her voice dripped with venom, but everyone could see she was cornered. Defeated. “Come on,” she snapped at her kids, her voice sharp as broken glass.
Vivian stormed toward the exit, her heels clicking against the floor with a fury that couldn’t hide her humiliation.
She was finished, and she knew it.
Senior woman walking out of a funeral | Source: Midjourney
The door slammed shut behind them, leaving a thick silence in their wake. No one moved for a long moment, as if the room was exhaling after the storm.
Joe calmly folded the letter, his eyes scanning the room with a somber expression. “Now,” he said, his voice steady, “let’s continue with remembering the man who truly deserves to be honored today.”
Senior man giving a speech at a funeral | Source: Midjourney
And so we did. The ceremony went on peacefully, a celebration of my dad’s life surrounded by the people who had loved him for who he was. We laughed, we cried, and we shared stories that captured the essence of the man who had brought us all together.
As for Vivian? She got exactly what she deserved — an exit cloaked in shame and disgrace. My dad, even in death, had the last laugh. He had exposed them, stripped away their pretenses, and made sure the truth came out in the end.
Close-up shot of a casket | Source: Midjourney
My dad may have been gone, but his wisdom — his sense of justice — was alive and well. And as I listened to Joe recount a funny story about my dad, one thing was clear.
“Dad always knew how to pick his moments,” I whispered.
Younng lady at her father’s funeral | Source: Midjourney
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