Unique divorce announcement
Dear former partner,
I trust this letter finds you in good health and high spirits. It is with mixed emotions that I communicate my decision not to return to our shared abode. Reflecting on our seven years together, it is evident that change is inevitable, and in this case, it is necessary for both of us.
The recent fortnight has been quite tumultuous, culminating in a decisive moment when your manager called to inform me of your abrupt resignation. Upon your return home a week ago, my attempt to surprise you with your favorite dish and a fresh haircut went unnoticed. Clad in a pair of brand-new silk boxers, I hoped to rekindle the connection we once shared.
Regrettably, you devoured the meal in record time, indulged in your television dramas, and retired to bed without acknowledging the effort I put into the evening. Our communication has dwindled, expressions of love have become scarce, and our intimacy is but a distant memory. Whether this stems from infidelity or a loss of affection, I have chosen to part ways.
Wishing you a fulfilling journey ahead, your former partner.
P.S. Please refrain from attempting to locate me; your sister and I have decided to start anew in West Virginia. May life bring you joy.
To my previous spouse,
Your letter has undeniably added a touch of humor to my day. Despite the seven years of marriage, your perception of yourself as a kind and wonderful man hasn’t always aligned with reality.
Television dramas have been my escape from the constant complaints, although their effectiveness is inconsistent.
I did notice your new haircut last week, though my initial thought was that it had a surprisingly feminine touch!
My preference for TV dramas aside, I had to keep quiet about your attempt at preparing my favorite dinner since I gave up pork seven years ago. As for the silk boxers, the $49.99 price tag raised an eyebrow, especially considering my sister borrowed $50 from me that very morning.
Despite our differences, I held on to the belief that our love could endure. Imagine my surprise when, following my $10 million lottery win, I returned home to find you gone.
Everything happens for a reason, and I genuinely hope you find the fulfilling life you’ve always sought. Please be aware that, as per my attorney, you won’t be receiving any money from me.
Wishing you luck on your journey, your ex-wife, liberated and prosperous.
P.S. In case I haven’t mentioned it before, my sister Carla was born Carl. I trust this revelation won’t pose any issues.
For centuries, people have claimed to be able to tell what someone’s personality is like, just by looking at a few basic physical features. Some believe that you can determine someone’s personality just by the length of their fingers! Some people find it very accurate and others think it’s a load of crap.
However, regardless of what your opinions may be, there used to be an entire area of science dedicated to things like this. Phrenology was used to analyze a person’s personality based on the measurements of their skull. Listed below are interpretations of what the shape of your nails may reveal about your personality:
1. The vertically long nail.
You’re probably a real romantic. Even-tempered with a strange but wonderful imagination. You can be a perfectionist and easily overwhelmed. You see the little things that few notice. People really love you. You get along with most people.
2. The broad-sided nail.
Unlike #1, you’re more short tempered. You are, however, a sharp, deep thinker. Even though you’re short tempered, people enjoy you for your straightforwardness. You can tell the difference between the truth and lies. That ability allows you to cut through the BS and offer the best advice. You don’t tell people what they want to hear, you tell them what they need to hear.
3 and 4. The “round-egg” nail.
You’re the endlessly happy one. You’re the pacifist. You’re the laid-back one. You enjoy doing things in a very unique way. You rarely go with the what the majority is doing. Even though you’re in touch with your feelings, you don’t often let them get the better of you.
5. The square nail.
You’re the gutsy one. You’re the one born a natural leader. You have a serious attitude that can put people off, but that makes your playful, good-natured moments all the more pleasant and fun for everyone around you.
6 & 7. The Triangular nail.
You’re the smart ones of the bunch. You’re typically innovative and brilliant when others demand perfection out of you. You often bring new ideas faster than most. People you meet are fascinated by you.
8. The almond nail.
You’re honest, friendly, and faithful. You’re polite but firm when it’s needed. People enjoy spending time with you because you find the good in them. You’re good at handling difficult situations.
9. The sword nail.
Last but not least, the sword nail. In your life, you’re often the tip of the sword. You’re ambitious. You work hard. You have your goals and you won’t stop until you meet them. You’re often well rounded and can handle tasks even far outside of your comfort zone. Your ambition is often contagious.
What are your thoughts on this?
Leave a Reply