I thought I was being a good wife, throwing a festive dinner for my husband Todd’s 35th birthday. But just as the guests were about to arrive, he told me he was ditching the party to watch the game at a bar. What happened next? Let’s just say, I got the last laugh.
You’d think six years of marriage would teach someone a little gratitude, but not Todd. Every year, I’d pour my heart and soul into his birthday, only for him to take it all for granted.
This year, though, his entitlement hit a whole new level.
A man standing in a kitchen | Source: Midjourney
Six years. That’s how long Todd and I have been married.
Don’t get me wrong, our relationship isn’t all bad. Todd can be charming when he wants to be, and we’ve had some wonderful times together. But there’s one thing about him that drives me absolutely up the wall.
His entitlement.
Take last Thanksgiving, for example. Todd had this brilliant idea to host a dinner for both of our families. He announced it at breakfast one day, grinning like he’d solved world hunger.
Breakfast on a table | Source: Pexels
“Claire,” he said, “I think we should host Thanksgiving this year.”
“Okay,” I replied. “That sounds nice. How are we dividing up the responsibilities?”
He waved me off like I’d just asked him to do a headstand.
“Oh, you’re so much better at that stuff,” he said. “I’ll handle… I don’t know, drinks or something. Just make it memorable, alright?”
I should’ve known better, but I went along with it.
For two weeks, I planned and prepped while Todd played fantasy football and occasionally asked me, “You need me to pick up anything?”
A man talking to his wife | Source: Midjourney
On the big day, I roasted the turkey, whipped up sides, and even made two pies.
And Todd? He carried the cooler of beer into the living room. That’s it.
After dinner, as everyone raved about the food and decor, Todd decided it was time to take credit for everything.
“Glad you all love it,” he said. “I wanted it to be special this year.”
I thought I’d misheard him.
“Oh, really?” I asked. “What part did you want special? The green bean casserole or the centerpiece?”
A woman standing in her living room | Source: Midjourney
He ignored me, of course.
And that’s Todd in a nutshell. He wants the credit without lifting a finger.
Then there was last year on his birthday.
I spent weeks creating a customized photo album, filling it with pictures from our travels and special moments together. I couldn’t wait to see his reaction when he unwrapped it.
But when he was done flipping through the pages, he just said, “Oh. So, where’s the real gift?”
It wasn’t just his words that hurt. It was the sheer audacity.
A woman looking at her husband | Source: Midjourney
I’d married a man who once wrote me poetry, and now he couldn’t appreciate a heartfelt gesture. That moment shattered something in me.
It made me realize he wasn’t the man I’d fallen for anymore.
And then came his 35th birthday. The final straw.
We were having dinner when Todd casually told me his plans.
“Claire, I want a big, proper birthday dinner this year,” he said. “Invite the family, my buddies, everyone.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You mean you want me to plan it?”
A woman in her house | Source: Midjourney
“Well, yeah,” he said. “You’re good at this stuff. Just make it decent, alright? I don’t want to be embarrassed in front of everyone.”
“Decent?” I repeated.
“Yeah, just don’t go overboard or anything. Keep it classy.”
You see the entitlement here? See the way he thinks he deserves a birthday party while knowing how he’d hurt me with his words last time?
Honestly, I didn’t want to agree, but I decided to give him another chance. After all, it was his birthday, and I wanted to make it special even if he didn’t deserve it.
A close-up shot of a woman’s eyes | Source: Midjourney
For the next two weeks, I threw myself into planning Todd’s “big, proper birthday dinner.” If he wanted classy, I’d give him classy.
I drafted an impressive menu that had spinach-stuffed chicken, rosemary potatoes, a charcuterie board with cheeses I couldn’t pronounce, and a three-layer chocolate cake that would be the pièce de résistance.
Every day after work, I’d come home, tie my hair up, and get to work cleaning, organizing, and prepping. I even borrowed extra chairs and a folding table from our neighbor, Janice, just to make sure everyone would have a seat.
Todd’s contribution? Absolutely nothing.
A woman cleaning the house | Source: Pexels
“I’m swamped at work,” he said one night, kicking off his shoes and plopping onto the couch. “But you’ve got this, babe. You’re good at these things.”
Good at these things? I was so tired I could’ve cried.
But instead of snapping, I smiled and said, “Yeah, I’ve got this.”
The day of the party finally arrived.
I woke up early, determined to make everything perfect.
A woman standing in the hallway | Source: Midjourney
The house was spotless. The table was set with matching linens and little name cards I’d handwritten. The appetizers were chilling, the main courses simmering, and the cake was decorated with edible gold flakes.
Yes, I went that far.
Todd strolled into the kitchen around noon, scrolling through his phone as usual. He barely glanced at the spread I’d laid out.
“Looks good,” he muttered as he opened the fridge to grab a soda.
“Looks good?” I repeated, half-joking but half-hoping he’d notice the effort I’d put in.
A woman standing in her house | Source: Midjourney
“Yeah,” he said, shutting the fridge door. Then, like it was no big deal, he added, “But hey, uh, don’t bother finishing all this.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m heading to the bar with the guys to watch the game instead. Cancel everything. Tell everyone something came up.”
“You’re ditching your own birthday dinner?” I asked. “Todd, I’ve been planning this for weeks!”
“It’s not a big deal, Claire,” he shrugged it off. “Just call everyone and tell them we’re busy or something. They’ll understand.”
A man talking to his wife | Source: Midjourney
“They’ll understand?” My voice rose. “Todd, people are already on their way! You told me to make this decent and now you’re leaving?”
“I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of the guys,” he said, ending the conversation.
Then, he grabbed his jacket and walked out of the door.
“You can’t do this, Todd!” I shouted, but he’d already left.
I was so heartbroken. I’d poured my heart, soul, and savings into this dinner, and he just walked out like it was nothing.
A woman looking outside the window | Source: Midjourney
Cancel everything? After all the work I’d done?
But more than anything, I felt humiliated.
How could he treat me like this? How could he brush off all my efforts as if they didn’t matter?
I stared at the table while the candles flickered mockingly.
Is this what you’re worth, Claire? I asked myself. Is this how you’ll let Todd treat you? No. You can’t do this.
At that point, I decided I wouldn’t cancel the dinner. I won’t allow him to make me feel bad again.
A woman standing in a living room | Source: Midjourney
If Todd wanted to act like a spoiled brat, I’d let him, but not without showing him what “embarrassing” really looked like. He had no idea who he was messing with.
I grabbed my phone and sent a group text to all the guests:
Party’s still on! Change of plans. Meet us at the bar on the main street near our place. Bring your appetite!
Then, I got to work.
I packed all the food and loaded it into the car. Then, I drove straight to the bar Todd had mentioned.
A woman driving | Source: Pexels
When I arrived, the place was already buzzing with noise. I looked around and spotted Todd sitting at a table with his buddies, his back to the door. He was completely oblivious to my presence.
“Uh, ma’am? Can I help you?” the bartender asked with wide eyes after noticing the trays of food I was carrying.
I flashed him my sweetest smile. “Oh, I’m just here to share a meal with some people who’ll actually appreciate it.”
A woman standing in a bar | Source: Midjourney
I picked a table near the bar, in full view of Todd’s group, and began unpacking dish after dish. The aroma of the food quickly caught everyone’s attention. Patrons nearby craned their necks to see what was going on.
“What’s this about?” one man asked, gesturing toward the feast I was setting up.
I raised my voice just enough to carry across the room. “Oh, this was supposed to be my husband’s birthday dinner. But he decided to ditch me and come here, so I thought, why let all this food go to waste?”
A woman looking straight ahead | Source: Midjourney
The room erupted in murmurs and laughter, and a few people even clapped. That’s when Todd finally turned around and spotted me.
He immediately stormed over while his buddies murmured amongst themselves.
“Claire! What the hell are you doing?” he hissed, his eyes darting nervously between me and the growing crowd.
I didn’t even look at him.
Instead, I addressed the nearest group of patrons. “You like ham? Help yourselves! There’s cake coming too.”
A close-up shot of food in a plate | Source: Pexels
Just as Todd sputtered out another protest, the front door swung open, and in walked his parents, my parents, his sister, and our cousins.
They looked at us, then at the food, and then at all the people munching on what was supposed to be a formal dinner.
Todd’s mom, bless her bluntness, walked right up to him. “What’s going on, Todd? Claire said to meet here for your birthday dinner, but why is she serving food in a bar?”
An older woman | Source: Midjourney
Todd looked like he wanted to disappear into the floor.
“Uh, it’s complicated, Mom,” he muttered.
“Oh, I’d love to explain!” I intervened. “Todd decided that watching the game with his friends was more important than the dinner he demanded I plan. So, I brought the dinner to him!”
His dad shook his head. “How disrespectful,” he muttered.
Meanwhile, my mom grabbed a plate and said, “Well, the food smells amazing. Let’s eat!”
A woman in a bar | Source: Midjourney
Soon, both our families joined the other patrons and dug into the feast I’d worked so hard on.
And Todd’s friends? They were still laughing at his expense and told him they’ll never forget this day.
By the time I brought out the cake, the bar felt like a full-blown party. On top of the cake, in bold frosting letters, I had written:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SELFISH HUSBAND!
The bar erupted in laughter when I read it aloud, but Todd wasn’t too happy about that.
A man laughing | Source: Pexels
“Was this really necessary, Claire?” he muttered under his breath.
I tilted my head, smiling sweetly. “Absolutely.”
Once everyone was done, I started packing up the empty trays. That’s when the bartender stopped me.
“Ma’am, you’re a legend,” he said. “Drinks on the house if you ever come back. Without him, of course!”
I chuckled. “Thank you! I’ll definitely drop by sometime.”
The families didn’t stick around long after the food was gone. My dad gave me a proud nod as he left, while Todd’s mom told him he could’ve done better.
An older woman speaking to her son | Source: Midjourney
As we drove back home, Todd kept muttering about being “humiliated.” Once we were back, he protested even more.
“Claire, you humiliated me in front of everyone!” he said, throwing his hands in the air.
“No, Todd,” I shot back. “You humiliated yourself. And for the record, don’t expect another homemade meal anytime soon.”
He knew he couldn’t argue with me at that point. He just turned around and stormed off to the bedroom.
A doorknob | Source: Pexels
It’s been two weeks since that night, and I kid you not, Todd has changed. Well, mostly.
His unrealistic demands have dialed down, and he’s been unusually polite, almost as if he’s afraid I’ll pull another stunt like that. He hasn’t apologized outright for ditching me, but his sheepish behavior says enough.
I guess now he knows I’m not the kind of wife who’ll roll over and take his nonsense anymore. If nothing else, that’s a win in my book.
A woman standing by a window | Source: Pexels
What would you have done if you were in my shoes?
The Key Differences Between First, Second, and Third Marriages
Marriage is a dynamic journey, with each experience shaping your understanding of love, partnership, and personal growth. While every marriage is unique, the evolution from a first to a second and even a third marriage is marked by distinct shifts in priorities, expectations, and personal development. Understanding these changes can help individuals approach each stage of marriage with a more realistic and grounded perspective. In this article, we will explore the key differences between first, second, and third marriages and how each stage reflects personal growth and shifting priorities.
First Marriages: Idealism and Romance
First marriages are often viewed through rose-colored glasses. At this stage, love is typically infused with idealism, and couples often believe in the fairy-tale notion of “happily ever after.” This is the time when individuals are likely to experience the excitement of a fresh relationship and the joy of starting a life together.
The Role of Romance
Romantic love is at its peak in a first marriage, with partners deeply invested in the idea of forever. They tend to prioritize passion, chemistry, and shared dreams of the future. The early stages of a first marriage are often filled with excitement, adventure, and a sense of invincibility.
The Challenges
However, as the marriage progresses, the honeymoon phase tends to fade, and reality sets in. First-time married couples often struggle with conflict resolution, as they may not yet have developed the skills necessary to manage disagreements. Unrealistic expectations can also cause strain, as each partner expects the other to meet all of their emotional needs.
Second Marriages: Pragmatism and Realism
By the time many individuals enter a second marriage, they have gained experience from their previous relationship(s). As a result, second marriages tend to be more pragmatic and grounded in reality. While love is still important, it often takes a backseat to the lessons learned from the first marriage.
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Learning from the Past
Second marriages are marked by a deeper understanding of oneself and the dynamics of a healthy relationship. Individuals are less likely to idealize their partner and more focused on compatibility, communication, and problem-solving. Past mistakes and experiences shape the way couples approach their new relationship, leading to more realistic expectations.
The Role of Compatibility
In a second marriage, couples often place a strong emphasis on compatibility, recognizing that love alone is not enough to sustain a long-term relationship. Practical considerations, such as shared values, interests, and lifestyle preferences, become essential factors in making the relationship work.
The Challenges
While second marriages are typically more stable, they can also come with their own set of challenges. Blended families, ex-spouses, and emotional baggage from the first marriage can complicate the dynamics of a second marriage. However, individuals who enter their second marriage with open eyes tend to be better equipped to handle these obstacles.
Third Marriages: Stability and Companionship
By the time individuals reach their third marriage, their priorities have shifted significantly. This stage of marriage is often defined by a focus on stability, companionship, and emotional security. Individuals in their third marriage are generally more self-aware, having learned from past mistakes and experiences.
Seeking Stability
For many, the third marriage is less about passion and more about building a secure, stable future together. After experiencing the ups and downs of two previous marriages, the focus shifts toward finding someone who can provide emotional support, understanding, and companionship. Practical factors like financial security, shared goals, and mutual respect become crucial.
The Role of Emotional Maturity
Emotional maturity is a hallmark of third marriages. By this point, both partners have likely developed the ability to communicate more effectively and navigate challenges with a calm, measured approach. The impulsiveness and intensity of earlier relationships are replaced by a more thoughtful and balanced approach to love and partnership.
The Challenges
While third marriages may seem more stable, they come with their own unique set of challenges. Older couples may face health issues, aging parents, or financial concerns, which can strain the relationship. Additionally, the complexities of blending families from previous marriages can still be a point of tension. However, individuals in their third marriage are often more adept at managing these challenges due to their increased emotional maturity.
Personal Growth Across Marriages
The progression from a first marriage to a second and third often mirrors significant personal growth. Each relationship provides lessons that shape how individuals approach their future partnerships.
First Marriage: The Idealist
In the first marriage, individuals often begin their journey with an idealistic view of love. They may enter the relationship expecting it to be perfect and free of conflict. This phase is about learning what it means to be a partner and what love truly entails. First marriages are often filled with hope and excitement, but they also offer important lessons in managing expectations and developing emotional resilience.
Second Marriage: The Realist
By the second marriage, individuals are usually more grounded. They’ve learned from their first marriage, and their expectations are more realistic. They understand the importance of communication, compromise, and emotional maturity. Second marriages are typically more stable because individuals are better equipped to handle the challenges that arise.
Third Marriage: The Pragmatist
By the third marriage, individuals have often reached a stage of emotional maturity and self-awareness. The focus is on emotional security, companionship, and building a stable life together. Third marriages are often less about intense passion and more about mutual respect, understanding, and support. Individuals who have been through two previous marriages are often more adaptable and better prepared for the realities of long-term partnership.
The Evolving Expectations of Marriage
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As we move from one marriage to the next, our expectations shift. In a first marriage, we expect a lifetime of love and adventure. In the second, we seek balance and compatibility. By the third, the desire for stability and companionship takes center stage. This evolution is a natural part of personal growth, and each marriage represents a different chapter in our lives.
The Importance of Communication
No matter the stage of marriage, communication remains the foundation of a successful relationship. Open, honest dialogue allows couples to navigate their differences, express their needs, and strengthen their bond. In second and third marriages, couples often have better communication skills because they have learned from past experiences.
Conclusion: Marriage Is a Journey of Growth
Whether it’s the passion of a first marriage, the practicality of a second, or the stability of a third, each stage of marriage brings unique opportunities for growth and connection. As we navigate through life’s various chapters, our expectations, priorities, and understanding of love evolve. By embracing these changes, couples can build stronger, more fulfilling relationships that stand the test of time. The key is to learn from each experience, communicate openly, and prioritize what matters most—companionship, love, and mutual respect.
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