I’m a full-time mom. About a year ago, I left my job to take care of our three-year-old daughter, who is autistic and requires a lot of support. Lately, I’ve noticed that my usually feminist husband has been criticizing me in a group chat.
Transitioning into the role of a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) wasn’t something I had envisioned for myself. I used to thrive in the fast-paced world of marketing, surrounded by campaigns and fueled by brainstorming sessions over coffee. But all that changed a little over a year ago when my husband, Jake, and I made a significant decision. Our daughter, Lily, who is three and autistic, needed more attention than what her daycare could provide. Her needs are complex, requiring constant care and support, and it became clear that one of us had to be with her full-time.
I won’t sugarcoat it — leaving my career behind was one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever made. I miss the freedom of earning my own income and the satisfaction of a job well done. But here I am now, spending my days planning meals, cooking, and baking. I’ve found joy in these tasks, and experimenting in the kitchen has become my new creative outlet.
Our backyard has turned into a small garden oasis under my care, and I take care of most of the household chores. Jake does his fair share too; he’s actively involved in chores and parenting whenever he’s at home. We’ve always considered ourselves equals, rejecting traditional gender roles, or so I thought until last week.
It was a regular Thursday, and I was tidying up Jake’s home office while he was at work. It’s filled with tech gadgets and piles of paperwork, typical for someone in software development. His computer screen caught my eye — it was still on, casting a soft glow in the dim room. He usually left it on by accident, but what I saw next wasn’t accidental at all.
His Twitter feed was open, and I froze when I saw the hashtag #tradwife attached to a tweet. Confusion washed over me as I read the post. It glorified the joys of having a traditional wife who embraces her domestic duties. Attached was a photo of me, taking a batch of cookies out of the oven, looking every bit like a 1950s housewife. My stomach churned as I scrolled through more posts. There I was again, tending to the garden and reading to Lily, our faces thankfully obscured.
This was Jake’s account, and he had been crafting a whole narrative about our life that was far from reality. He portrayed me as a woman who relished her role as a homemaker, willingly sacrificing her career for aprons and storybooks. The truth of our situation — that this arrangement was a necessity for our daughter’s well-being — was nowhere to be seen.
I felt betrayed. Here was the man I’d loved and trusted for over a decade, sharing our life with strangers under a false pretense that felt foreign to me. It wasn’t just the lies about our relationship dynamics that hurt — it was also the realization that he was using these glimpses of our life to bolster some online persona.
I shut the computer down, my hands trembling with a mix of anger and bewilderment. All day, I grappled with my emotions, trying to comprehend why Jake would do this. Was he dissatisfied with our situation? Did he resent my decision to stay home? Or was it something deeper, a shift in how he perceived me now that I wasn’t contributing financially?
The rest of the day passed in a blur. His posts kept replaying in my mind, and eventually, I couldn’t ignore them any longer. I decided to call him and address everything head-on.
“Jake, we need to talk,” I finally said, trying to keep my voice steady.
He answered, sounding concerned. “What’s wrong?”
I took a deep breath, the weight of my discovery weighing heavily on me. “I saw your Twitter today…”
His expression fell, and he let out a long sigh, indicating he knew exactly what this conversation was about to entail. He started to respond, but I interrupted him.
“Calm down,” he said, dismissing it as “just harmless posting.” That was the final straw. I told him I wanted a divorce, called him out for his deceit, and ended the call.
Jake rushed home immediately. We argued, but with Lily’s strict schedule, I couldn’t let the conflict drag on. He pleaded with me to have a proper conversation after putting Lily to bed. Reluctantly, I agreed. That night, he showed me his phone, revealing that he had deleted the Twitter account. But the damage was already done.
A week passed, and my anger hadn’t subsided. This wasn’t a simple misunderstanding. It was a breach of trust. Jake attempted to explain, claiming it started as a joke, but he got carried away with the attention it garnered. But excuses weren’t enough.
Motivated by a mix of hurt and the need for justice, I decided to expose him. I took screenshots of his tweets and shared them on my Facebook page. I wanted our friends and family to know the truth. My post was straightforward: “Your husband belittles you in front of his friends behind your back. Sound familiar?”
The response was immediate. Our relatives were shocked, and the comments poured in. Jake was inundated with messages and calls. He left work early once more to beg for my forgiveness. He knelt, tears in his eyes, pleading that it was all just a “silly game.”
But I couldn’t let it go. The trust that bound us together was broken. It wasn’t just about a few misguided posts; it was about the respect and understanding we were supposed to have for each other. I told him I needed time and space to think and heal. I moved out with Lily to another apartment.
For six months, Jake begged for forgiveness. He sent messages, left voicemails, and made small gestures to show he was sorry. But sorry wasn’t enough. I told him that if he truly wanted to make amends, we needed to start anew. In my eyes, we were strangers now, and he had to court me like he did years ago when we first met.
So, we began again, slowly. We went on dates, starting with coffee and progressing to dinners. We talked a lot — about everything except the past. It was like rediscovering ourselves individually and as a couple. Jake was patient, perhaps realizing this was his last chance to salvage our once-loving relationship.
As I sit here now, reflecting on the past year, I realize how much I’ve changed. This betrayal forced me to reevaluate not only my marriage but also myself and my needs. I’ve learned that forgiveness isn’t just about accepting an apology; it’s about feeling secure and valued again. It’s a gradual process, one that we’re both committed to, step by step.
What would you have done if you were in my shoes? Share your thoughts on Facebook.
4 TIMES TAYLOR SWIFT WENT MAKEUP-FREE AND LOOKED FLAWLESS
Despite the celebrity’s seemingly flawless appearance, she has openly admitted to a relatable yet not-so-great habit of neglecting to remove her makeup. “Sometimes I forget to wash off my makeup. Okay—almost all the time,” Swift confessed to Allure in 2011. Nevertheless, the pop star is just as stunning without makeup as when she graces TV screens and stages at her sold-out concerts — a fact evident in her makeup-free photos.
Tied together with a smile
On January 22, 2019, Taylor Swift shared a casual selfie donning a denim jacket, adorable dirty blond bangs swept to the side, and seemingly no trace of makeup. Smiling next to her “Cats” character name, Bombalurina, she aptly captioned the post, “Meow.” Even without makeup, the celebrity displayed bright eyes, clear skin, and full lips. With raised eyebrows and a somewhat mischievous smirk, this selfie radiates a playful mood, enhanced by the absence of makeup.
But what can we say? You’re gorgeous
On October 24, 2022, Taylor Swift demonstrated that makeup is not a prerequisite for capturing a moody photograph, especially when announcing the release of her latest album. Without makeup, the musician appeared genuinely beautiful with her hair styled in a braided bun as she gazed into the distance, dressed in a fairytale-inspired ensemble. The promotional post’s caption added, “Midnight, what a storied and fabled hour… On this sparkling evening, I’ll be releasing my twist on a fairytale we all know.” This picture not only affirmed Swift’s beauty sans makeup but also hinted at her internal and external brilliance, considering the success of her “Midnights” album.
He said the way her blue eyes shined …
Every devoted Swiftie is aware of Taylor Swift’s penchant for rocking sweaters (or shall we say, cardigans?). On October 24, 2018, the musician showcased her love for turtlenecks, likely surpassing her affection for makeup. In a selfie flaunting her famous blond bangs and captivating blue eyes, the pop star sported a dark, snug-looking turtleneck. The post’s caption humorously noted, “Here we can observe an Australian swiftlet in her natural habitat, a turtleneck.” The selfie emitted a down-to-earth, nature-focused vibe, with Swift exploring an Australian nature landscape in the post’s subsequent photos.
Never go out of style
During the COVID-19 lockdowns, almost every active social media user posted at least one no-makeup selfie at home with a boredom-related caption. Taylor Swift joined the Instagram trend, sharing a flawless makeup-free selfie on April 27, 2020. Staring into the camera with her iconic blond curls slightly longer than her clavicle, she captioned the photo, “Not a lot going on at the moment.” While the caption resonated with the lockdown experience, viewers were likely taken aback (or perhaps not so surprised) by how effortlessly perfect Swift looked without makeup.
Taylor Swift is not only celebrated for her musical prowess and romantic exploits, but her devoted fan base, known as Swifties, also frequently marvel at her captivating makeup looks. The songstress has flaunted an array of makeup styles since her debut single, “Tim McGraw,” graced the Billboard charts in 2006. From dark smokey eyes, blue eyeshadow, long lashes, peachy tones, to cat eyes “sharp enough to kill a man” — Swift has experimented with diverse looks. And let’s not overlook the numerous red lipsticks she has effortlessly pulled off. But have you ever wondered what Taylor Swift looks like without makeup?
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