Navigating changes in a relationship, particularly those related to physical appearance, can be a delicate and emotional journey. A Bright Side reader is having a hard time after his wife underwent plastic surgery. He shared a letter with us seeking our advice.
He shared his side of the story.
Here are some tips that we believe can help you.
- Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to reflect on your feelings and understand why the changes in your wife’s appearance are affecting you. Are your concerns purely aesthetic, or do they come from deeper emotional reasons? Understanding your own feelings will help you communicate more effectively with your wife.
- Communicate Honestly and Compassionately: Approach the topic with empathy and compassion. Let your wife know that you love her deeply and that your concerns come from a place of care. Use «I» statements to express your feelings without placing blame.
- Focus on Emotions, Not Criticism: Avoid criticizing your wife’s appearance directly. Instead, focus on expressing how the changes make you feel. For example, you might say, «I miss the unique features that made you who you are,» rather than, «You don’t look like yourself anymore.»
- Reassure Her of Your Love: Make sure your wife knows that your love for her goes beyond physical appearance. Reassure her that you’re committed to supporting her through any challenges she faces, including those related to self-image.
- Encourage Open Dialogue: Encourage open and honest communication between the two of you. Create a safe space where both of you feel comfortable expressing your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.
- Seek Professional Help If Needed: If you find it difficult to navigate these conversations on your own, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor. A professional can provide guidance and support as you work through your feelings together.
- Focus on Shared Activities: Spend quality time together engaging in activities that you both enjoy. Focus on building emotional intimacy and strengthening your bond as a couple.
- Support Her Self-Esteem: Encourage your wife to focus on aspects of herself that she feels confident about, aside from her appearance. Remind her of her strengths and accomplishments.
- Be Patient and Understanding: Remember that adjusting to changes in appearance can be a complex process, and it may take time for both of you to adapt. Be patient with each other and offer support along the way.
- Explore Ways to Reconnect: Find ways to reconnect as a couple and reignite the spark in your relationship. Whether it’s through shared hobbies, romantic gestures, or simply spending quality time together, prioritize nurturing your connection.
By approaching the situation with empathy, understanding, and open communication, you can navigate this challenging time with grace and compassion.
Shannen Doherty, ‘Beverly Hills 90210’ and ‘Charmed’ Star, Dies at 53
Shannen Doherty, known for her roles on the wildly popular series “Beverly Hills, 90210” and on the witchcraft fantasy “Charmed,” has died after being diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015. She was 53.
“It is with a heavy heart that I confirm the passing of actress, Shannen Doherty,” Doherty’s publicist Leslie Sloane said in a statement. “On Saturday, July 13, she lost her battle with cancer after many years of fighting the disease. The devoted daughter, sister, aunt and friend was surrounded by her loved ones as well as her dog, Bowie. The family asks for their privacy at this time so they can grieve in peace.”
Doherty rose to fame in 1990 as the fresh-faced brunette Brenda Walsh on Fox’s “Beverly Hills, 90210.” Along with her twin brother Brandon, played by Jason Priestly, the Walshes were the classic fish-out-of-water family that had recently moved from Minnesota to Beverly Hills and were constantly amazed at the antics of the L.A. rich kids.
The romance between Brenda and Dylan, played by Luke Perry, spawned controversy in the first season for the storyline where Brenda considers losing her virginity. Their later breakup, when Dylan hooked up with her best friend Kelly, played by Jennie Garth, was also big news, and the show was considered groundbreaking in its willingness to address topics like drug abuse and racism.
The show was a massive hit, and with its success came an inordinate amount of scrutiny and gossip surrounding the cast, including teen-aged Doherty. Though the show had started out with Garth’s Kelly as the less likable character, the perception soon changed and Brenda become the cast member everyone loved to hate on. She was labeled a diva in the press and there was even a pre-internet newsletter called “I Hate Brenda.” Doherty appeared in 111 episodes before leaving the series at the end of season four, amid reports of friction with other cast members, particularly Garth.
By the time the show was rebooted two more times, everyone had mellowed with age and Doherty returned as Brenda in the 2008 revival “90210” for one season and in the later revival 2019 “BH90210.”
After her stormy departure from “Beverly Hills, 90210,” Doherty found her footing on “Charmed,” the supernatural drama following three sisters who discover they are witches and must work together to fight evil. She played the oldest of the three sisters, Prue Halliwell, alongside Alyssa Milano and Holly Marie Combs. In 2000 and 2001, she directed three episodes of the series — “Be Careful What You Witch For,” “The Good, The Bad, and The Cursed,” and “All Hell Breaks Loose,” the last episode she appeared in. Her character was killed off when she left the series at the end of the third season.
Born in Memphis, Tenn., Doherty moved to Los Angeles with her family as a child and got her start at age 10 with a role on the series “Father Murphy.” Michael Landon saw her in the series and cast her as Jenny Wilder in “Little House on the Prairie” at age 11.
Doherty then had a recurring role on the family series “Our House” with Wilfred Brimley,
In feature films, she appeared in another teen classic, “Heathers,” as well as in “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” and Kevin Smith’s “Mallrats” and “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.”
Among the other shows she appeared on were “North Shore,” and “Riverdale” as well as in a number of TV movies.
In 2006, she produced a reality show, “Breaking Up With Shannen Doherty,” where she helped people in relationship peril who wanted to get out but couldn’t do it on their own, and later appeared in another reality show, “Off the Map With Shannen and Holly.”
Doherty was diagnosed with breast cancer in February 2015, and in 2017 said she was in remission. But by 2019 the cancer had returned and spread. She continued working, with roles in TV movies including “Dying to Belong” and “List of a Lifetime.” Doherty also hosted a popular podcast, “Let’s Be Clear With Shannen Doherty,” in which she discussed her career and talked frankly about how breast cancer had impacted her life.
In June 2023, she said she had been receiving radiation for cancer that had spread to her brain.
She was briefly married to George Hamilton’s son Ashley Hamilton and poker player Rick Salomon, and in 2011 she married photographer Kurt Iswarienko. They filed for divorce in 2023.
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