I Told My Friend She Married a Useless Man, and Now She Hates Me

I take it that everyone of us must navigate our own lives and take responsibility for our decisions? However, it is in our nature as humans to want to help friends who are actually in need. However, what would you do if your friend—the one you always stand by—started confiding in you about all of their issues, repeatedly, and with no sign of stopping? This Reddit member is exactly in that predicament. She wondered if she was managing the matter with her buddy correctly, so she looked to the large internet community for advice.

I(32F) am a single mother of two kids (6M and 5m F). I am a single mother by choice (my kids are donor conceived).

I am lucky enough to have a good job (French teacher in a private school), and a paid off house (parents’ life insurance and inheritance).

Before I had either of my kids, I made sure to have a year’s living expenses saved, then I would take a sabbatical to recover from birth, as well as bond with my kids. While on sabbatical, I still tutor some kids for some extra income.

My friend (34F), just had a baby 2 months ago. She is the breadwinner in her household, and her husband has been unemployed since he was laid off during COVID.

It was great to be pregnant at the same time, as well as having a friend with a newborn. But it has turned sour.

She has been saying how jealous she is of me being able to take off a whole year from work, how she would have loved to not worry about losing their home, how she doesn’t even have a couple hundred dollars in her savings account, let alone a whole year’s worth of living expenses….

I usually ignore it, or brush it off, because I kind of can understand the stress she is under.

Well, starting about 10 days ago, she started hinting at not being able to afford daycare, and any mention of her husband taking care of their kid is brushed off. Then she started remarking on how much free time I must have, which I deflected by saying -truthfully- that being a single mom to a baby and a small kid left me no free time actually.

Then last night she came out with it, and asked if I could “do her a favor” and watch her kid while she’s at work. I was firm, but polite, when I said that I couldn’t, that I am not capable of watching two kids under 6 months.

She started almost begging me, saying she can’t afford daycare, and if she is not back at work, she will lose her job, and they will end up homeless. I again brought up her husband, and she said that he was not good with kids, and isn’t capable of taking care of her kid.

I kept saying no, she kept pushing, until it escalated to her calling me heartless, and me telling her that it’s not my problem she chose to have a kid with a useless man.

Now she blocked me, I am feeling very guilty about what I said, and feeling like an AH.

Georg Stanford Brown and Tyne Daly’s interracial marriage stood the test of time despite the prejudices they faced…

 Hollywood actors Georg Stanford Brown and Tyne Daly only dated for five months before deciding they wanted to be together forever.

Their love affair began in the 1960s when interracial marriage was considered taboo, illegal, and punishable by law.

They married on June 1, 1966, just one year before interracial marriage became legal across the U.S. As late as 1960 such marriages were illegal in 31 states in the U.S.

Georg Stanford Brown had moved from Havana to Harlem when he was 7 years old and then moved to LA 10 years later where he finished his education, majoring in theater arts.

Although, initially choosing the path of theater arts to ‘do something easy’ he ended up enjoying it and returned to New York to attend the American Musical and Dramatic Academy, working as a school janitor to pay his tuition, earning $80 a week.
It was there that he met his future wife Tyne Daly where they both studied under Philip Burton, Richard Burton’s mentor.
Brown is perhaps best known for his role as Officer Terry Webster, one of the stars of the ABC television series “The Rookies” that aired from 1972 to 1976.

He was also well known for his character Tom Harvey in the mini-series “Roots.”

During his long career as an actor and director, Brown played a variety of film roles, including Henri Philipot in The Comedians and Dr. Willard in Bullitt. In 1984 he starred in The Jesse Owens Story as Lew Gilbert.
When Brown married American singer and actress Tyne Daly she was a household name for her iconic role-playing Mary Beth Lacey, the gun-toting working-mother cop in the hit show “Cagney and Lacey.”

When the couple got married they faced racial prejudice but chose to ignore it – until they appeared on an episode of “The Rookies” together and shared their first on-screen interracial kiss.
Network censors wanted the scene deleted, but the couple stood their grounds, taped, and aired the segment without any issues from those closest to them.
In an interview with the Washington Post in 1985, Daly said she never saw being married to Brown as interracial. She does not, she says, “like pigeonholes.”
She is married to “another member of the human race. I gave up categories a long time ago,” she added.

The couple has three daughters Alisabeth Brown, born December 12, 1967; Kathryne Dora Brown, born February 10, 1971; and Alyxandra Beatris Brown, born October 1, 1985.

Daly said when their daughter Alyxandra was born, “on her birth certificate, under ‘race,’ we put ‘human’; under ‘sex’ we put ‘yes’, and under ethnic origin, we put ‘citizen of the world.’”
Describing her marriage to Brown, Daly said: “I have a good and interesting marriage that has gone on for quite some time and he’s an interesting fellow and we have some fascinating young children . . .”

Brown went into directing, and in 1986, he won a Primetime Emmy Award for Best Director in a Drama Series for the final episode of “Cagney & Lacey.”
Daly went on to star in many Broadway shows playing the role of Madame Arkadina in “The Seagull” in 1992, Cynthia Nixon in the 2006 comedy “Rabbit Hole,” and Maria Callas in “Master Class” in 2011, among others.
In 1990, after 24 years of marriage, Brown, and Daly filed for divorce. Even though their marriage had stood the test of time, they had to go their separate ways due to irreconcilable differences.

Despite divorcing after more than two decades this couple’s love and their fight to ignore the prejudice they faced is an inspiration.

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