I take it that everyone of us must navigate our own lives and take responsibility for our decisions? However, it is in our nature as humans to want to help friends who are actually in need. However, what would you do if your friend—the one you always stand by—started confiding in you about all of their issues, repeatedly, and with no sign of stopping? This Reddit member is exactly in that predicament. She wondered if she was managing the matter with her buddy correctly, so she looked to the large internet community for advice.
I(32F) am a single mother of two kids (6M and 5m F). I am a single mother by choice (my kids are donor conceived).
I am lucky enough to have a good job (French teacher in a private school), and a paid off house (parents’ life insurance and inheritance).
Before I had either of my kids, I made sure to have a year’s living expenses saved, then I would take a sabbatical to recover from birth, as well as bond with my kids. While on sabbatical, I still tutor some kids for some extra income.
My friend (34F), just had a baby 2 months ago. She is the breadwinner in her household, and her husband has been unemployed since he was laid off during COVID.
It was great to be pregnant at the same time, as well as having a friend with a newborn. But it has turned sour.
She has been saying how jealous she is of me being able to take off a whole year from work, how she would have loved to not worry about losing their home, how she doesn’t even have a couple hundred dollars in her savings account, let alone a whole year’s worth of living expenses….
I usually ignore it, or brush it off, because I kind of can understand the stress she is under.
Well, starting about 10 days ago, she started hinting at not being able to afford daycare, and any mention of her husband taking care of their kid is brushed off. Then she started remarking on how much free time I must have, which I deflected by saying -truthfully- that being a single mom to a baby and a small kid left me no free time actually.
Then last night she came out with it, and asked if I could “do her a favor” and watch her kid while she’s at work. I was firm, but polite, when I said that I couldn’t, that I am not capable of watching two kids under 6 months.
She started almost begging me, saying she can’t afford daycare, and if she is not back at work, she will lose her job, and they will end up homeless. I again brought up her husband, and she said that he was not good with kids, and isn’t capable of taking care of her kid.
I kept saying no, she kept pushing, until it escalated to her calling me heartless, and me telling her that it’s not my problem she chose to have a kid with a useless man.
Now she blocked me, I am feeling very guilty about what I said, and feeling like an AH.
My Wife’s Fitness Addiction Seemed Innocent – When I Found Out the Truth behind It, It Broke Our Family
My wife Jane’s love for fitness started as a healthy habit. But little did I know, her trips to the gym were hiding a shocking secret that would shatter our family.
Woman exercising on a mat | Source: Pexels
Jane had always been into fitness. She loved working out, especially during college. Recently, though, her gym routine took over her life. What started as a few visits a week turned into a daily obsession.
At first, I thought nothing of it. Jane was 40 and still in great shape. She balanced her job with taking care of our kids, who were five and nine.
About 18 months ago, she started going back to the gym. It fit into her schedule, so I didn’t see a problem. Then, things changed.
Woman training at the gym | Source: Pexels
She began going every day, even on weekends. She started doing double sessions, one in the morning and one in the evening. It felt extreme, especially since she was four months pregnant.
I noticed she was irritable when she missed a session. “It’s like she’s a junkie needing a fix,” I thought. I shared my concerns, but Jane got upset. “The gym is my time,” she said. I suggested working out together, but she refused.
Woman using a leg press machine at a gym | Source: Pexels
I confronted her one evening after she got back from the gym. “Jane, we need to talk,” I began, trying to keep my voice calm.
She sighed. “Peter, can this wait? I’m exhausted.”
“No, it can’t wait. I’m worried about you. You’re at the gym all the time. It’s not healthy, especially with the baby on the way.”
Jane’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t understand. The gym helps me relax. It’s my escape.”
“Escape from what?” I asked, my frustration growing. “From me? From the kids?”
Woman working out at the gym | Source: Pexels
She threw her gym bag on the floor. “No, Peter. It’s not about you or the kids. It’s my time. I need it.”
“You’re overdoing it,” I insisted. “You’re missing out on time with us. The chores are piling up. People are starting to notice. Some even think you might be having an affair.”
Her face flushed with anger. “An affair? Seriously, Peter? That’s absurd.”
“Is it?” I shot back. “Because it feels like you’re hiding something. You won’t even let me join you at the gym.”
A couple quarreling | Source: Pexels
“That’s because I need this for myself!” she shouted. “Why can’t you understand that?”
“Because it’s tearing us apart,” I said, my voice breaking. “I miss you, Jane. The kids miss you.”
Jane’s expression softened for a moment, but then she shook her head. “I can’t give this up, Peter. I won’t.”
We stood there in silence, the distance between us growing. Finally, she picked up her bag and walked past me. “I’m going to bed,” she said quietly. “We’ll talk about this later.”
An up-close image of a sad woman | Source: Pexels
I wasn’t insecure. I also worked out and stayed in shape for my job. But Jane’s obsession with the gym was different. She was over-exercising and neglecting chores, leaving them all to me. People around us noticed.
They commented on her constant gym visits and how she’d changed. Some even hinted at an affair. It made me afraid to face our close circle of friends and family. I felt embarrassed and ashamed. The rumors were like a dark cloud hanging over me.
A pensive man looking out the window | Source: Pexels
Every time I saw someone whispering or casting a sympathetic glance my way, it cut deep. I started to avoid social gatherings, fearing the inevitable questions and silent judgments.
Emotionally, I was a wreck. My mind was constantly racing, filled with thoughts of Jane’s strange behavior and the possibility of her being unfaithful.
A man standing by the window | Source: Pexels
I felt betrayed, but more than that, I felt helpless. I couldn’t shake off the anxiety that gnawed at me every day. My confidence was shattered, and I started doubting myself. Was I not good enough? Had I failed as a husband? These thoughts consumed me, making it hard to focus on anything else.
I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I needed answers. Recently, I followed her to the gym. I waited 20 minutes before going in as a visitor. After changing clothes, I walked into the main hall.
A fitness club lined with gym equipment | Source: Pexels
I was amazed. There was Jane, teaching aerobics to about 20 men. “She must be working here as a trainer,” I thought. I went to the registration to check. They confirmed it – Jane was conducting personal lessons there.
Relief washed over me. This explained her absence. I decided to wait for her near the hall. When the training ended, the men left. But then I went in and saw Jane kissing a man. Anger surged through me.
A couple kissing while lifting barbells | Source: Pexels
“What are you doing?” I shouted. “Are you cheating on me?”
Jane’s eyes widened in shock. “Peter, what are you doing here?” she stammered, pulling away from the man.
“I followed you, Jane. I had to know what was going on,” I said, my voice trembling with rage. “And now I see it. Who is he?”
The man stepped forward, his expression smug. “I’m James,” he said. “Jane and I… we love each other.”
“Love?” I echoed, my heart breaking. “Jane, you’re pregnant with our child. How could you do this?”
Jane’s face crumpled, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Peter. I didn’t mean for this to happen. But James and I… we just connected.”
A close-up of a woman crying | Source: Pexels
“Connected?” I repeated, feeling a surge of bitterness. “While I’m at home, taking care of everything, you’re here with him?”
James put an arm around Jane, and I wanted to punch him. “We’ll make it work, Peter. I’ll take care of her, and the baby too,” he said confidently.
I looked at Jane, searching her eyes for any sign of the woman I married. “Is this really what you want?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.
Jane nodded, her eyes full of pain. “Yes, Peter. I’m sorry. I can’t live a lie anymore.”
I turned away, feeling the weight of betrayal crush me. “Then we’re done,” I said, my voice hollow. “I’ll file for divorce. And I’ll demand a paternity test.”
I walked out of the gym, my world shattered, leaving Jane in tears.
A close-up of a sad woman holding a tissue | Source: Pexels
I filed for divorce and demanded a paternity test. Jane took her belongings and left with her lover.
It broke me. Our 15-year marriage ended so abruptly. Jane explained, “I finally found true love at 40.”
She was willing to share custody of our kids. The paternity test confirmed I was the father of her child.
A man and a woman reading a document | Source: Pexels
Months later, I heard from relatives that James had been treating Jane poorly. He also started being distant toward Jane, just like she was to me. He snapped at her every chance he got and made her feel worthless.
Jane, who once thrived on attention and affection, was now craving the love and support she had taken for granted. James, once attentive and caring, became cold and dismissive.
A man sitting on a couch | Source: Pexels
He would leave the house for long hours, sometimes not even bothering to tell Jane where he was going. The vibrant woman I once knew was now a shadow of herself, living in constant anxiety and regret.
Arguments became frequent. Jane would plead, “James, please talk to me. We can work through this.”
But James would snap back, “I don’t have time for this, Jane. You’re always nagging. Just leave me alone.”
A distant couple sitting on a sofa | Source: Pexels
Each harsh word and cold shoulder chipped away at her. She realized too late the mistake she had made. The man she left me for was not the loving partner she thought he would be. He made her feel insignificant and alone.
Jane found herself reflecting on our life together, understanding now the stability and care she had traded away. When we spent time with the kids, she barely looked me in the eye.
People sitting on a couch with their devices | Source: Pexels
She was embarrassed about how her life had turned out. Her once confident demeanor was now replaced by a sense of shame and regret. She tried to put on a brave face for the kids, but I could see the pain behind her eyes.
She was haunted by the choices she made, knowing she had thrown away a stable and loving family for a relationship that quickly soured.
Surprisingly, it amused me. She deserved it for her betrayal. I moved on, focusing on our kids and rebuilding my life without her.
A man and his children looking at a tablet | Source: Pexels
Leave a Reply