When Millie Smith and Lewis Cann found out they were expecting a baby, they were overjoyed. As there was a history of twins in Millie’s family, she had a strong feeling that she was going to give birth to two little ones, and her instincts were right. The ultrasound confirmed that she was indeed expecting twins, but the doctors told them that one of the babies had a very small chance of survival.
ragically, one of their daughters was born at 30 weeks with anencephaly, a serious condition that affects the development of the brain and spinal cord. They learned that their precious baby had only moments or hours to live.
Knowing this, Millie and Lewis wanted to give her a name before they said goodbye. They chose the name Skye. Millie explained: “We felt she needed a name before she arrived. Knowing she wouldn’t be with us for long, I wanted her to have a name in those fleeting moments”.
The name “Skye” symbolized a connection to a place they could always remember when they looked up to the sky. “We held Skye close as she died. It was the most heartbreaking moment of our lives, but I’m proud that she fought to spend that time with us.” Skye only lived for three hours, a brief time filled with love while her parents cherished her beauty and presence.
After her death, Millie and Lewis were supported by a “bereavement midwife” and given access to a “Daisy Room”, a special room where parents could spend time with their baby before and after death. However, after Skye was gone, her memory seemed to fade; no one spoke of her, leaving Millie feeling like her daughter had never existed, which made her angry.
“Most of the nurses knew what had happened, but as the weeks went by, people stopped mentioning Skye. Other families around me had no idea about our loss”, Millie recalls.
While her other daughter, Callie, was still in the NICU, another mother who knew nothing about Millie’s situation remarked how lucky she was not to have twins. “None of the other parents knew about Skye, and that innocent comment almost broke me. I left the room in tears but didn’t have the heart to explain”, Millie said. “A simple sticker could have prevented this.”
This experience inspired Millie to design a sticker for incubators to mark the loss of one or more babies in a multiple birth. She chose butterflies to symbolise the ‘flown away’ babies and used the colour purple, which is suitable for any gender.
From this idea grew the Skye High Foundation, which promotes the Purple Butterflies initiative and helps raise awareness in hospitals around the world. The foundation also offers a range of purple butterfly merchandise.
“Although I can’t prevent these situations from occurring, I believe the more support we can provide through initiatives like the stickers, the better it will be for others who suffer this loss. It’s an incredibly tough journey”, said Millie. Today, her surviving daughter Callie is seven years old.
The Tale of Resilience: Carrot, Egg, or Coffee Bean?
The grandma took the carrot out of the pot after a while and asked her granddaughter to explain what had happened to it. The granddaughter said that the carrot had become softer due to the heating water. The sage woman nodded before going on to the following pot.
She then removed the egg and asked about its metamorphosis. The granddaughter retorted that the hot water had solidified the egg. After considering her granddaughter’s observations, the grandma nodded once more.
The wise woman finally looked at the pot of coffee beans. She requested her granddaughter to tell her thoughts about the water that the coffee beans had been submerged in and the coffee beans themselves. The granddaughter retorted that the water had been transformed by the coffee beans, giving it a fresh flavor and scent.
The grandmother thoughtfully asked her granddaughter which of the three things—the carrot, the egg, or the coffee beans—she thought she looked most like.
After giving the topic some thought, the young woman understood the deep lesson her grandmother’s straightforward yet poignant illustration held. She realized that, similar to how boiling water shapes an egg and a carrot, life’s challenges may mold us in various ways.
When faced with hardship, the carrot, which is initially tough and stubborn, softens and becomes malleable. In a similar vein, when faced with hardship, the egg hardens with its protective shell. But the coffee beans, the epitome of tenacity and willpower, have the ability to change their situation and give them courage and optimism.
The granddaughter was very affected by this moving story. It reminded her that she had options when faced with obstacles in life. Adversity might either harden her and rob her of her fragility, like the egg, or it may make her weak and pliable, like the carrot. Alternatively, she may take a cue from the coffee beans and use her inner fortitude and fortitude to change the course of events and reach new heights for herself.
Which one then are you? Which are you, the coffee bean, the egg, or the carrot? Never forget that every obstacle presents a chance for development, transformation, and perseverance. Accept the lesson from this story and strive to be the coffee bean that rises above hardship, motivating others in the process.
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