Caroline got a job as a cleaning lady in New York and went to her first assignment. It was a beautiful house in Manhattan, but she was shocked to find a picture of her mother in the office. Then, a man walked in.
Caroline had recently moved to New York with her friend, Melissa, to chase their Broadway dreams. Before they could find an apartment, they needed jobs. Melissa got a position at a clothing store, and Caroline was hired by a domestic cleaning agency.
The job was perfect for her. It wasn’t too demanding, and she enjoyed cleaning because it helped her relax. Plus, if no one was home, she could practice her singing.
Caroline couldn’t stop thinking about her mother before starting her first job. Her mother, Helen, had never wanted Caroline to follow her dreams or live in New York.
Caroline grew up in Philadelphia and didn’t have a father, as Helen never talked about him. Helen also had a strong dislike for New York and had always been overprotective of Caroline, which made her feel trapped.
When Caroline and Melissa planned their move, Caroline knew her mother would not approve. She worried Helen might even fake being sick to make her stay. But Caroline was determined to pursue her dreams, so she left a short note on her mother’s dresser while Helen was asleep and left.
It had been a few days, and Helen hadn’t called, which felt strange, but Caroline thought her mother was probably just angry. She hoped Helen would come around once she made it on Broadway. For now, Caroline focused on her cleaning job.
The agency director had told her that an older man lived in the house alone, so it wasn’t very messy. Following the instructions, Caroline used the key under the mat to enter the house and started cleaning right away, beginning with the kitchen, then the living room, and finally moving to the bedroom.
Caroline was nearly finished with her cleaning when she noticed a photo of her mother on the office mantelpiece. She hesitated before asking, “I’m almost done, sir. But may I ask a question? Who is this woman?”
She was standing at the entrance of the serious-looking office. There were no instructions against entering, so she carefully continued her work, avoiding the desk area.
The office was impressive, with a beautiful fireplace, a mantelpiece, and large bookshelves lining one wall. It looked like something from a movie.
Caroline quickly and thoroughly cleaned the office but stopped when she saw the photo on the mantelpiece. The woman in the picture looked like her mother, but much younger. She wondered aloud, “Why is my mother in this man’s pictures?”
Just then, she heard footsteps, and an older man entered the room. “Oh, hello there! You must be the new cleaning lady. I’m Richard Smith. I own this house,” he said with a friendly smile. “Are you finished in here?”
Caroline replied, “I’m almost done, sir. But may I ask a question?” She hesitated, hoping he wouldn’t mind her asking about the photo. “Who is this woman?”
Richard put on his glasses and looked at the photo. “Ah yes. That’s Helen. She was the love of my life,” he said.
Caroline’s curiosity was piqued. “What happened to her?” she asked.
Richard sighed, “She died in a bus crash. She was pregnant at the time. I couldn’t even go to her funeral because her mother hated me. It was a tough time. I tried to move on, but I never really did. I still love and miss her.”
Caroline felt a chill. “Sir, I’m sorry to intrude, and thank you for sharing that. But this woman… she looks so much like my mother. It’s incredible.”
Richard looked confused. “What do you mean?”
Caroline explained, “Well, my mother, also named Helen, looks just like this woman. Of course, she’s older now, but the resemblance is striking. I’m almost sure this is her,” she said, pointing to the photograph.
Richard asked Caroline, “Helen? Your mother’s name is Helen? Where did you grow up?”
“Philadelphia,” Caroline replied, shrugging. She suddenly realized that if the woman in the photo was her mother, this man might be her father.
Richard put his hands over his mouth in shock. “This can’t be possible…” he whispered. “Can I have your mother’s phone number?”
“Sure,” Caroline said and gave it to him.
“Can you stay here while I call her?” Richard asked. Caroline agreed.
Richard made the call from his office phone. After a few rings, her mother’s voice came on the line. “Hello? Is it you, Caroline?”
Richard glanced at Caroline but spoke first. “Is this Helen Geller?”
“Yes. Who am I speaking to?” Helen responded from the other end.
Richard’s voice wavered with emotion as he said, “Helen, it’s Richard.”
“Helen, who? Wait a minute. Richard Morris? What do you want after all these years?” Helen’s voice became cold.
Caroline and Richard looked at each other, puzzled. Richard pressed on, “What do you mean after all these years? I thought you were dead!”
“What?” Helen replied, confused.
Richard explained that he had lost Helen and their unborn baby in an accident. He told her how her mother had kept him away from the funeral and didn’t tell him anything afterward. But Helen was baffled and told him her side of the story.
“My mother said you called and decided you wanted nothing to do with me. So I raised my daughter on my own,” Helen explained. Caroline was stunned by this unexpected twist.
Richard continued, “Helen, I would never have left you. I never moved on. I’ve thought about you and our baby every day. I’ve been in pain for almost twenty years.”
Helen was silent. Then she said, “I can’t believe Mom would do this. But that was her way. I don’t know what to do now. Wait. How did you find out I’m still alive?”
Caroline spoke up, “Mom, I’m here.” She quickly explained what had happened and assured her mother that she was okay in New York.
Helen was in disbelief. “I can’t even ask my mother why she did something so cruel. She passed away years ago. But anyway, when are you coming back home, Caroline?”
Caroline replied, “I’m not coming back until I make it on Broadway. And now, I have another reason to stay here.” She glanced at Richard with a small smile.
Helen said, “Fine, but I’m coming to New York soon,” and then hung up. Richard and Caroline stared at each other in silence for a moment before speaking.
“So, I guess you’re my dad,” Caroline said with a smile. Richard laughed, and that helped them start to connect.
What can we learn from this story?
1. Let your children follow their dreams. Caroline left because her mother was too protective. It’s important to guide your children but let them make their own choices.
2. Sometimes, parents don’t always have your best interests at heart. Helen’s mother did something awful to both Helen and Richard, and they might never know why.
3. Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
Matt Heath: My parting message: Enjoy things while they are around
A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
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