I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along.Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
Connie, pregnant dog who was rescued from shipping container, dies after rare illness — rest in peace
The story of “Connie the Container Dog,” a canine who was miraculously found by Coast Guard officials after becoming stuck in a shipping box, is among the most memorable animal rescue stories of the year. When it was revealed that Connie was pregnant, the narrative took a different course.
However, there has been a tragic development in the tale: Connie passed away following the infection of an uncommon virus.
The tale of Connie: discovered in a shipping container
Early in the year, Connie gained notoriety following an unexpected and improbable rescue.
According to a U.S. Coast Guard Heartland Facebook post, a group of marine inspectors from U.S. Coast Guard Sector Houston-Galveston were on duty on January 31 and were randomly choosing shipping containers for inspection.
After being selected at random from hundreds of containers, they were startled to hear an odd sound emanating from a container 25 feet above the ground.
In a TikTok video, a cop can be heard saying, “It’s scratching, dude.” They discovered there was a live dog confined inside the flat when they heard barking as well.
It had been a week since the golden retriever had been there. The officers surmised that she was a stray dog that had been hidden in a junkyard automobile because the cargo unit was packed with abandoned cars that were being transferred abroad for parts.
The Coast Guard officials called a nearby animal sanctuary and gave her some water. She was hungry and exhausted, but most of all, she was relieved to be saved.
“The moment we opened it, the little dog’s face was peeking out. Petty Officer 2nd Class Ryan McMahon stated, “She was right there like she knew we were going to be there to open it for her.”She simply didn’t seem afraid at all. Being in the arms of those who would look after her and leaving that dim place made her appear happier than anything else.
With approximately 10,000 containers at the Bayport Container Terminal on the Port of Houston, it was a true marvel she was found at all.
According to McMahon, who spoke to AP, “it would take at least another week to get to where she was going (on a cargo ship) and two weeks without food or water.” “I doubt she could have survived.”
Unexpected pregnancy
“Connie the Container Dog” was the moniker given to the saved dog. She was first adopted by the neighboring Pasadena Animal Shelter before being sent to the Maryland-based Forever Changed Animal Rescue.
There, during a routine check-up, the veterinarians revealed an unexpected development in the case: Connie was expecting! She was, it turned out, carrying puppies the entire time she was in the freight container, and her pregnancy was still healthy in spite of the trauma.
“We are hopeful given what we could see, even though her pregnancy is guarded due to her going without food and water for eight days or more. The fetuses have strong heartbeats and were bouncing around,” stated Forever Changed.
Connie successfully gave birth to eight gorgeous puppies in February. Given Connie’s physical condition, there were some health issues, but the mother and the puppies survived.
Peace be with you, Connie
However, Connie’s joyful ending was tragically fleeting. Connie’s death was confirmed by Forever Changed Animal Rescue on June 28.
Connie battled pythiosis, an exceedingly rare and aggressive fungal ailment that dogs can contract by drinking or swimming in contaminated water, until she passed away, according to the shelter, which expressed its “devastatement.” They claimed it was most likely something she picked up while living as a stray in Texas.
They tried everything they could to assist Connie fight the infection, but according to Forever Changed, she “declined rapidly.” They were heartbroken that she passed away so quickly after finding a home, given everything she had endured and survived.
The rescue stated, “We just couldn’t believe that this was how her story was supposed to end, after everything she had been through and survived.” “She had the sweetest spirit of any young dog, but she was also such a fighter—a real survivor.”
“She was finally receiving the love and happiness she deserved—she had finally found THE MOST PERFECT family.” Even if we are happy that she experienced a few blissful months of love and happiness, it will never seem like enough. She was due for more.
“Connie, we sincerely apologize.” Sweet girl, you would still be with us if love had the ability to save you. We will always love and miss you. You deserved so much more because you fought so hard. You can relax, ideal girl. You won’t ever be forgotten, for sure.
Despite the terrible end to her life, Connie is said to have left an amazing legacy with her inspirational narrative and the eight healthy puppies she is left with, according to Forever Changed.
It is also the desire of Forever Changed that Connie’s tale encourages people to adopt pets similar to hers. They stated, “There are thousands of dogs in Texas who are #justlikeConnie and are either living horrible lives on the streets or are put to death in shelters every day.”
Dogs are routinely left behind and disposed of like rubbish. Since nearly all of these dogs are still in good health, they are running around the streets and breeding uncontrollably, which means that entire litters of puppies are either put to death in shelters or suffer on the streets as well.
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