At 37, I thought I could finally date in peace until my Mom crashed dinner with a list of rules… and somehow ended up on a date with my boyfriend.
I always knew I had a mom. But sometimes, it felt like my mom was my whole life. I was 37, but that didn’t stop her from asking me every single day:
“Are you wearing warm socks?” or “Are you sure he looked at you with respect and not… interest?”
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I worked in a museum, adored art history, lived in my own apartment, had a bank account, and had two degrees… Yet every time I saw “Mom calling” on my phone, I instinctively straightened my posture.
She controlled everything. From when I should go to bed to what color I painted my nails.
Once, I ordered salmon delivery, and 20 minutes later, she called.
“I saw him go into your house. Was that him?”
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“Mom, are you spying on my house?”
“I just sat in the car nearby. In case of suspicious movement.”
She had binoculars. And a notebook. She called it “just in case.”
As a child, it was cute. At 20, it got annoying. By 30, I began to question our “normal.”
At 37, I met Theo.
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For the first time in my life, I didn’t tell her right away.
It was my first grown-up secret. And, of course, it lasted exactly three days. Until Mom ruined everything.
But I’ll tell you that in a moment.
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***
I was preparing for my dinner with Theo. I baked a pie I found online, not from Mom’s sacred recipe book.
Even if it came out a bit burnt and the chicken was a little dry — those were my mistakes. My life.
I could already imagine my mother’s face if she saw the meal — a guaranteed explosion. I smiled quietly to myself while checking the candles.
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A week earlier, she declared, “I want to meet him. In person. At my house. At the table. With my questions.”
“Mom, let me be an adult for once. I’ll decide when to introduce you.”
She backed off for once. It felt odd, but I didn’t think much of it. Big mistake.
That night, Theo came over for the first time. He brought tulips, non-alcoholic wine (knowing I was tired after work), and a cake from the bakery I always visit during lunch.
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“I just wanted to get everything right,” he smiled, setting the plates.
“Theo, with you, it always feels right.”
Something warm and calm bloomed in my chest. We talked for hours. Laughed. Dreamed.
“Imagine… a little house by an old lighthouse,” he said.
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“And in the basement — an archive of old love letters.”
“You’d preserve them, and I’d write new ones.”
Candles were burning low. Music hummed softly. He touched my hand.
“I thought after all the heartbreaks, nothing would ever happen again. And then you came along…”
And at that exact moment…
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“ACHOO!”
From the closet. We froze.
“You’re not alone?” Theo shot me a look.
I got up. Opened the closet.
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“Mooom?!”
She sat in the dark. With a headlamp. And a thermos.
“What… what are you doing?!”
“Oh, hi! I was just checking if you’re storing things in your closet without lavender,” she mumbled, not even trying to sound convincing.
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“You broke into my apartment?!”
“I was just making sure. Listening. Evaluating. I didn’t interfere!”
Theo, somehow, still managed to smile politely.
“Good evening. I’m Theo. Very nice to meet you.”
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“Theo. Short. Like most male patients,” Mom said, sitting on the couch. “Sit. Let’s get to know each other.”
I wanted to run. But Theo sat down. Bravely.
And the interrogation began.
“Do you have a job?”
“Yes. I teach literature…”
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“Do you work 9 to 5?”
“Flexible hours.”
“So, no structure. Got it. Do you drink alcohol?”
“A glass of wine, sometimes…”
“Sometimes means regularly.”
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“Mom…”
“Quiet, Eliza. I’m asking.”
Then she turned back to him again, “How many women before my daughter?”
“I… excuse me?”
“Are you deaf?”
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“No, I just think that’s a bit…”
“You should always think. Before approaching a woman with serious intentions.”
Theo looked at me. As if to ask, “Is this a joke?”
I tried to say with my eyes, “No. This is my life.”
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Mom stood up. “Now, a test.”
“What?” we both said.
“Wipe the table. With a sponge. No streaks. If there’s even one mark — you’re not for her.”
“Mom, enough!”
I was desperate and angry. But to my greatest surprise…
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Theo stood up, went to the kitchen, found the sponge… and wiped. It was perfect. She checked the surface and ran her finger across.
“Hmm. Survived. For now.”
Then, Mom dramatically handed Theo a paper. He smiled while skimming it, then slowly, he frowned before handing it to me.
“I think I should go. I’ll call you.”
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He left. Just like that. I finally looked down at the letters she wrote in thick black marker.
RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGTER
1. Have a job.
2. Understand I don’t like you.
3. I am EVERYWHERE.
4. You make HER cry — I make YOU cry.
5. Be home 30 min early.
6. SHE is my PRINCESS. Not your conquest.
7. I don’t mind going to jail.
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Daugter. With a typo. That said it all.
“Mom, it’s time for you to go.”
“Oh, sweetie, if he leaves at the first sign of trouble, is he even a man?”
“He didn’t leave me. He said he’d call.”
“Same thing.”
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“Maybe he just didn’t enjoy being around you?”
“You’re overreacting.”
“You crossed the line, Mom! Please, leave. I want to be alone.”
Mom’s words echoed in my head.
Has Theo really left… forever?
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***
Three days passed. No texts. No calls. I caved and sent him a short message:
“I’m sorry for how everything went. You didn’t deserve that.”
Seen. No reply.
And then — a knock at the door. I opened it, my heart racing. It was him and he was there with flowers.
“Come on. I’ve planned a date… for you and your Mom.”
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I blinked. “What?”
“Just trust me.”
We picked up my Mom. She barely got in the car before starting her usual commentary.
“Where are we going? I have to defrost the freezer!”
“Surprise,” Theo smiled.
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The first stop? His lecture.
Mom and I sat in the back. Theo stood in front of a class full of students, talking about love in literature.
“To be with someone doesn’t always feel poetic. But it’s always worth it.”
“Oh, I might fall asleep here,” Mom whispered.
“Mom. Shhh.”
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“If he’s trying to seduce us both with lectures — he failed.”
I gave her a look. But I held on. I knew this wasn’t all Theo had planned.
Next stop — a boat ride. On the lake, with a plaid blanket, strawberries, and tea in a thermos. (Yes, the exact tea Mom liked. He remembered.)
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“Yet another romantic coma,” Mom muttered, but this time, she was chuckling.
As we floated, Theo turned to her gently.
“So, Barbara. What are your hobbies?”
She raised an eyebrow.
“Hobbies? Suspicion. Avoiding scams. Crosswords when I can’t sleep.”
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“I bet you’re good at them.”
“I once found three typos in The New York Times. Sent them a letter. And you didn’t find one.”
“You planted that typo?”
“Of course, sweetie — it was a test for your Theo.”
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“A test? For spelling? Mom, he’s a university professor!”
“No, more like a test for politeness,” she smirked. “He passed.”
Then she leaned to move closer to the edge… and slipped.
SPLASH.
She fell right into the water. I gasped. Then, she laughed so hard I nearly joined her.
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“YOU LAUGHING? I COULD DROWN!”
Theo jumped in without hesitation. Swam straight to her, helped her out, and wrapped her in a blanket. Soaked, shivering, furious — but secretly touched. Back on land, she was about to stomp away.
“I need to go home. I’m done.”
Theo calmly said, “There’s a sports store nearby. Time for a wardrobe refresh.”
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He disappeared. Came back ten minutes later with two matching athletic outfits. One for me. One for Mom. She held hers suspiciously.
“How did you guess my size?”
“Easy. You’re built perfectly for a Medium. Athletic and classic.”
She smiled. Barely. Quietly. But I saw it. She loved attention.
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We changed. And then — the climbing wall.
“Last challenge, I promise,” Theo grinned. “Climbing wall. One climbs, the other keeps the rope. Trust exercise.”
“Oh no. I’m 60!”
“Exactly. Perfect age for adventure.”
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To my absolute shock, Mom went first. Halfway up, she shouted:
“THEO! IF I FALL — I’M HAUNTING YOU!”
She didn’t fall. She reached the top. And when she came down, her eyes were gleaming.
“Okay, professor. Not bad.”
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“To end the day,” Theo said, “I’d like to make you both dinner. My place.”
Mom looked at me. “I have no choice. I need to see where this man lives. Maybe I’ll discover his secret lair.”
***
Theo’s house was beautiful. Clean. Warm. It smelled like citrus and cedar. I’d never been there before. And I was stunned.
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“Did you buy this on a teacher’s salary or rob a bank?” Mom asked, peeking into the kitchen.
“Started saving in high school. Plus I teach online courses on the side. Hard work pays off.”
“Well, look at you,” she muttered. Then, louder, “Does the fridge clean itself, or are you just this weird?”
Theo just laughed.
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We sat on the terrace. Theo grilled steaks nearby while the sun dipped low. Mom leaned back. Actually relaxed.
“You know… he’s not so bad, honey.”
“Really? Wow. Mom, you’re on fire today.”
“I was too distrustful. Because your father left. And I didn’t want you to get burned like I did.”
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“But Mom, it’s my life. I need to make my own mistakes. Walk my own path.”
“Theo is wonderful. It’s obvious he loves you. I mean, he jumped in a lake to save his future mother-in-law.”
We both laughed.
“And he could’ve dropped me on that climbing wall. But he didn’t. That’s some nerve control.”
Theo joined us, carrying two plates.
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“Hungry?”
“Always,” Mom said.
“Even for this? Because I have one more course.”
Theo knelt on one knee.
“Eliza, these past three months have been the best of my life. You’ve brought color back into everything. And your mom… we’re friends now.”
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“Almost,” Mom added.
“Not even the rule list could scare me away. I want to share my home, my life… all of it. And yes, even see your mom — but no more than twice a week.”
He laughed. I gasped.
“Will you marry me?”
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I blinked. Heart racing.
“Sweetheart,” Mom nudged me. “I’d have said yes already.”
“YES. Of course — yes!”
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***
Mom changed.
She started Pilates, bought her first floral swimsuit, and we no longer lived in a co-dependent loop. We were separate but always family.
Finally, our coffee dates felt like chats between old friends.
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She told me about her fitness class. I told her how Theo’d forgotten to take out the trash and called it a “creative delay.”
I finally became myself. And I think — she also did.
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I Spotted Something Strange About the Bride at My Best Friend’s Wedding – Lifting Her Dress Revealed a Shocking Surprise to All
Weddings are supposed to be filled with joy, but as I watched Shanize approach the altar, a knot formed in my stomach. Something was wrong, and I couldn’t ignore it. When I finally stepped forward to lift her gown, the truth I found left me frozen in shock.
I’ve known Dave for over 30 years. We grew up together, shared secrets, and laughed through awkward teenage years. So, when he told me he was getting married to Shanize, this stunning, graceful woman he met a year ago, I was thrilled for him.
Honestly, I didn’t think anyone could ever tie him down, but here we were on his wedding day.
The ceremony was perfect — almost too perfect. Shanize looked like she had stepped right out of a bridal magazine, her long white dress gliding down the aisle. I should’ve been lost in the beauty of it all, but something wasn’t right.
At first, I thought it was just nerves. Weddings are nerve-wracking, right? But as Shanize took one step, then another, I noticed her walking oddly. It wasn’t the poised, confident bride’s walk you’d expect. Her steps were small, unsure, almost as if she was stumbling.
I leaned over to whisper to Dave’s sister, Heather.
“Do you see that?” I murmured, trying to keep my voice low.
Heather frowned, glancing at the aisle. “See what?” she asked, oblivious.
“Shanize,” I said, gesturing subtly with my chin. “She’s walking weird. Like… like something’s wrong.”
Heather squinted and then shrugged. “You’re overthinking it. She’s just nervous, Janice. I mean, it’s a big day.” She gave me a reassuring smile, but it didn’t calm the uneasy feeling bubbling inside me.
Maybe. But something about the way Shanize’s dress moved gnawed at me. Was her dress too tight? Had something happened before the ceremony? I tried to push the thoughts away, but as she got closer to the altar, I couldn’t ignore it anymore. Her steps weren’t just slow; they were almost labored.
I leaned over again, unable to resist. “Heather, I swear something’s off.”
“Janice, stop it,” Heather whispered, her tone sharp. “You’ll ruin the moment. Don’t make a scene.”
I looked back toward the altar. Dave was standing there, his eyes sparkling with love. When our eyes met, he gave me a thumbs-up and mouthed, “Can you believe it?”
I forced a smile back at him, nodding, but inside, something wasn’t sitting right.
The closer Shanize came to the altar, the more unsettled I felt. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who noticed.
“She’s gliding!” someone whispered behind me, a man’s voice laced with amusement. Something about that comment chilled me to my core. I leaned in toward Heather again, my voice barely above a whisper. “Did you hear that? Gliding? That’s exactly it. She’s not walking right.”
“Janice, for God’s sake,” Heather hissed, her patience thinning. “You’re going to embarrass Dave. Stop acting like this!”
But I couldn’t stop. As Shanize drew nearer, I squinted at her feet, trying to make sense of it. The flow of her dress was unnatural. I couldn’t take it anymore. My body moved before my mind could catch up.
“I have to check,” I muttered, stepping forward. I heard Heather’s sharp intake of breath as I edged past her, my eyes locked on the bride.
“Janice!” Heather hissed behind me, her voice tight with panic. But it was too late. I was already there.
My heart pounded, and my hands trembled as I reached out. The world seemed to slow down as I bent over and lifted the hem of Shanize’s gown just a few inches. I wasn’t even sure what I expected to see — maybe some malfunction with her shoes or a wardrobe mishap. But what I found defied all logic.
The entire church fell into stunned silence.
Underneath the beautiful white gown was something so out of place and shocking that my mind went blank for a second. Men’s shoes. Large, polished men’s shoes.
I blinked, half convinced I was hallucinating. I glanced up, but no one moved. No one breathed. Shanize — no, this person — didn’t react, but I did. I knelt down further and looked closer. My stomach churned as I noticed the fabric of the suit pants, slightly hidden by the dress. And then, my eyes darted upward to the face.
That’s when I realized.
This wasn’t Shanize.
It was a man. A man in a wig, a veil covering most of his features, but now that I was up close, I could see the truth. My throat went dry. I stood, my hands trembling at my sides, and met Dave’s eyes.
“Janice…?” Dave’s voice wavered, his happiness crumbling into confusion as he watched me. “What’s going on?”
I didn’t know how to answer him.
For a moment, no one moved. The entire church was frozen, mouths agape, eyes locked on the man standing at the altar, dressed as the bride. The weight of what I’d uncovered hung in the air like a bomb waiting to explode.
Dave’s face was pale, his eyes wide, darting between me, the man in the wedding dress, and the confused guests. He staggered backward, nearly tripping over his own feet.
“What… What the hell is this?” His voice cracked, thick with disbelief.
The guests started whispering, their voices like a swarm of bees filling the room.
The man in the dress — the fake Shanize — stood tall, a smirk spreading across his face. Slowly, deliberately, he reached up and pulled the veil from his head, letting it drop to the ground. The wig came off next with a flourish, revealing short, dark hair. The transformation was complete, and the church erupted in confused chatter.
“Surprise,” he said, his voice filled with smug satisfaction. “You didn’t even notice, did you?”
Dave blinked, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. “Where’s Shanize?” he demanded, his voice barely holding together. “Where is she?!”
The man — Dave’s best man — chuckled, shaking his head. “She’s gone, Dave. Left days ago. But don’t worry, she knew about this. She’s the one who asked me to do it.”
The murmurs in the church grew louder, and I could hear people shifting uncomfortably in their seats. I stood there, numb, unable to process what I was hearing. Dave’s best friend — the one standing there in Shanize’s wedding dress — had been in on this?
Dave’s face twisted in confusion and anger. “What the hell are you talking about? What did you do to her?” His voice rose in panic as he stepped forward, his fists clenched. “Where is she?!”
The best man held up a hand, signaling for calm, though his eyes glinted with triumph. “Oh, she’s safe. Don’t worry. But she wanted you to feel this moment, Dave. She wanted you to know what it’s like to be blindsided.”
Dave’s confusion deepened. “What are you talking about?”
The best man smiled a cold, sharp smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “She found out, Dave. About you and Vanessa.” His voice dropped to a near-whisper, the words dripping with malice. “The bridesmaid you’ve been sneaking around with? Shanize knew.”
The air left the room. Dave’s face drained of all color, his eyes wide with horror. “No… no, that’s not… That’s not true.”
“Oh, but it is,” the best man interrupted, his tone vicious. “She found out a few days ago. She could’ve called off the wedding, but where’s the fun in that? No, she wanted to make sure everyone saw who you really are.”
I felt my knees weaken, and I gripped the back of a pew for support. My mind raced. Dave? Cheating on Shanize with one of the bridesmaids? I glanced over at Vanessa, sitting just a few rows away. Her face was pale, her hands trembling as she stared at the floor, unable to meet anyone’s eyes.
Dave shook his head frantically. “No, no, this isn’t happening.”
But the best man stepped forward, his voice rising with each word. “This is happening, Dave! You betrayed her! You threw away your chance at happiness for a cheap fling, and now you’re paying for it.”
The room erupted in chaos. Guests were talking over each other, shouting questions, trying to piece together what had just happened. Some stood, ready to leave, while others stared in disbelief at the man in the wedding dress, still standing proudly at the altar.
Dave’s eyes were wild with panic as he looked at me as if I could somehow save him from this nightmare. “Janice,” he gasped, reaching out toward me. “Please, you have to believe me. This isn’t what it looks like!”
I stared back at him, my heart breaking. “Dave… what have you done?”
The church fell silent again, and the best man’s cold voice cut through the air like a knife. “This is your punishment, Dave. For what you did to her.”
And with that, he turned on his heel, leaving Dave standing there alone — shattered, exposed, and utterly broken.
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