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My neighbor Sharon is the type of person who competes over everything, even Christmas lights. When her petty jealousy turned my festive yard into a muddy mess, she thought she’d won. But karma struck her with a surprising twist and gave her the spotlight she deserved.
You ever have that one neighbor who seems to thrive on being a pain in the rear? For me, that’s Sharon. I’m Evelyn — 35, mom to two mischievous cats, and a lover of low-key Christmas cheer. I live in a quiet neighborhood, the kind where most people wave when they pass by.
But Sharon? She doesn’t just wave. She sizes up your yard, your decorations, and probably your soul, thinking of ways to OUTDO you.
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A woman decorating a Christmas tree | Source: Unsplash
Last year, the Homeowners’ Association (HOA) hosted a “Best Christmas Yard” contest. Honestly, I wasn’t even planning to enter, but Sharon made it impossible to ignore.
“Hey, Evelyn!” she called out one November morning, leaning over our shared fence. Her nails were perfectly manicured — bright red, as if she’d already decided she was Mrs. Claus. “Are you decorating this year? For the contest?”
“What contest?” I asked, genuinely clueless.
Her smirk widened. “Oh, the HOA is hosting this fun little competition. Best yard gets a plaque or something. I figured you’d want to know. Not that I need the competition.”
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An arrogant woman standing behind a fence | Source: Midjourney
I rolled my eyes. “Wow, Sharon. Humble as always.”
“Humble?” she scoffed. “I prefer the term ‘professionally festive.’ Someone has to set the neighborhood standard.”
She laughed like she’d already won. I just shrugged.
“Thanks for the heads-up. I almost forgot about that,” I said.
Sharon went all in. Two days later, her yard looked like Christmas had exploded. Inflatable Santa? Check. Reindeer? Check. Thousands of twinkling lights synced to “Jingle Bell Rock”? Double-check. She even roped off sections for photo ops, charging five bucks per picture.
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A yard flaunting stunning Christmas decor | Source: Midjourney
“Five-dollar Christmas memories!” Sharon announced to anyone within earshot. “Limited time offer!”
Me? I threw up a few string lights, hung an old wreath I dug out from the attic, and set out some candy canes. It wasn’t much, but the neighborhood kids loved it. They’d walk by, munching cookies or tugging on their parents’ sleeves, pointing at my yard like it was Santa’s little hideout.
That was all I needed.
The HOA announced the winner at the annual block party. I wasn’t even paying attention until I heard my name.
“And the Best Christmas Yard goes to… EVELYN!”
I blinked in disbelief. My yard? Seriously?
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A stunned woman | Source: Midjourney
I went up to accept the certificate, feeling more awkward than proud. From the corner of my eye, I saw Sharon standing stiff as a nutcracker. Her lips were pursed so tight I thought they’d disappear.
“Congratulations,” she said when I passed her on my way back to my seat. Her tone? Sweet as vinegar, with an undertone that could curdle eggnog.
“Oh my,” she continued, her smile so forced it looked like it was held together with Christmas ornament wire, “I’m just THRILLED for you. Who would’ve thought… a few candy canes and some string lights could beat my PROFESSIONAL display?”
“Thanks, Sharon,” I replied, keeping my voice light.
She leaned in closer, her voice dropping to a whisper. “I’m sure it was just a clerical error. These things happen.”
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An annoyed woman | Source: Midjourney
The rest of the evening, she avoided me, but I caught her glaring a few times. Her fake smile was so rigid I was half-expecting it to crack like an icicle.
Honestly, I thought that’d be the end of it… just some harmless competition. I should’ve known better. Especially with Sharon.
Christmas morning, I packed up the car and headed to my mom’s. She wasn’t doing great health-wise, so I wanted to spend the holiday with her. When I came back two days later, my jaw hit the floor.
There was a muddy path leading from the sidewalk straight to my front door. My yard — my clean, festive yard — was a disaster zone. Mud covered everything. And right next to it, in giant letters, was the message:
“BEST YARD.”
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A yard with a muddy track | Source: Midjourney
I stared at it, rage bubbling up inside me. Who else could’ve done this? It was classic Sharon — over-the-top, childish, and just plain mean.
“I should go confront her,” I muttered, then quickly backtracked. “No, no. Confronting Sharon is like voluntarily walking into the Grinch’s cave. With a welcome mat. And maybe a fruit basket.”
I grabbed a shovel and trash bags, my internal monologue running wild. “Confrontation? Pfft. She’d probably have surveillance cameras. Or worse… witnesses prepared with sworn testimonies about my ‘aggressive yard behavior’.”
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A woman holding a shovel on a muddy track | Source: Midjourney
Muttering under my breath, I started scooping the sloppy mud. “Petty, immature… How does she even have time for this? Miss ‘I sync my Christmas lights to Broadway musical numbers’.”
I paused, my shovel mid-scoop. “If I go over there, she’ll play the victim. She’ll have tea. Probably Christmas-themed. With little gingerbread man coasters.”
Another scoop of mud. “Nope. Not worth it. She’d turn this into a three-act Christmas drama where I’m the villain.”
As I continued scooping, my frustration grew. “Best yard, huh? More like best mud sculpture. Congratulations, Sharon. You’ve truly OUTDONE yourself this time.”
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A frustrated woman with her face covered in mud | Source: Midjourney
I grabbed another trash bag, still grumbling. And as I started scooping up more mud, karma decided to make a surprise appearance.
“Evelyn! WAIT!”
I looked up to see Sharon sprinting toward me, her face pale as snow.
“What do you want?” I asked, holding my shovel mid-air. “Come to offer more landscaping advice?”
“Please don’t throw the mud away!” she begged, her voice shrill and desperate. She looked like a deer caught in headlights — if that deer was wearing designer winter boots and had a manicure.
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An anxious woman screaming | Source: Midjourney
I blinked. “Why would I keep mud? You think I’m building a mud castle here? Planning some avant-garde Christmas sculpture?”
She hesitated, wringing her hands. “I, uh… I lost something. My engagement ring. I think it might’ve fallen off when I was… uh…”
“When you were writing ‘BEST YARD’ in my lawn?” I finished for her, raising an eyebrow. “How convenient.”
Her face turned beet red. “Look, just… don’t throw it out, okay? I’ll clean it up myself!”
I crossed my arms, smirking. The power dynamics had suddenly shifted, and I was living for every second. “Oh no, Sharon. You wanted to make a mess? Fine. But I’m finishing the cleanup. If your ring’s in here, you’re welcome to dig for it. In the dumpster!”
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A furious woman frowning | Source: Midjourney
Her eyes widened in pure horror. “Evelyn, please —”
“Better get started,” I interrupted, tossing another shovelful of mud into the trash bag. “I hear mud is great for exfoliation. Consider this your Christmas spa treatment.”
Sharon looked trapped, like a perfectly coiffed rat in a very expensive mousetrap.
An hour later after I was done, she ended up elbow-deep in garbage, sifting through mud in her designer boots.
“You find it yet?” I called, standing on the porch with a cup of coffee, enjoying the show like it was my personal holiday parade.
“Not. Helping,” she snapped, wiping mud from her face. Her perfectly highlighted hair now looked like a mud sculpture gone wrong.
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A woman sifting through a garbage bag | Source: Midjourney
Neighbors started coming out of their houses, pretending to “take a walk” or “check the mail.” Soon, half the block was watching Sharon dig through trash bags like a raccoon… a very well-dressed, increasingly frustrated raccoon.
One guy across the street whispered to his wife, “Did you see her boots? That’s gotta be at least $400 ruined right there.”
“I’d be more worried about the coat,” his wife replied, stifling a laugh. “Those designer labels don’t exactly scream ‘mud-friendly’.”
Sharon overheard and shot them a look that could freeze Santa’s sleigh mid-flight.
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An annoyed woman frowning | Source: Midjourney
An hour later, she let out a triumphant shriek that could’ve shattered glass. She held up the ring like she’d won an Olympic medal for Most Dramatic Mud Excavation.
“Found it!” she yelled.
I clapped slowly, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. “Congrats. Now about the rest of the mud…”
She shot me a death glare so intense it could’ve melted the North Pole. She shoved the ring into her pocket, and stomped back to her house. The sound of her squelching boots was music to my ears.
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Close-up shot of a woman holding a diamond ring | Source: Midjourney
The next morning, I stepped outside with a cup of coffee, expecting to see Sharon’s inflatable Santa waving cheerfully like always. But her yard was… EMPTY. No twinkling lights, no music, not even a stray candy cane. Just an eerie, stripped-down lawn that looked like it was bracing itself for a mid-January thaw.
“Whoa,” muttered Greg, my neighbor from two doors down, as he shuffled past with his dog. “Sharon finally gave up?”
“Looks like it,” I said, pretending to study my shrubs while biting back a grin.
The neighborhood buzzed about it all day. Apparently, Sharon had packed everything up at the crack of dawn. Rumor was, she’d been too mortified to face anyone after her mud-wrestling performance in my yard. One neighbor swore she heard Sharon muttering something about how “the spotlight wasn’t worth it.”
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An empty yard on a snowy day | Source: Midjourney
“More like the mud-light wasn’t worth it,” I mumbled to myself.
By afternoon, people were strolling by my yard to compliment my decorations again. “So simple, so sweet,” Mrs. Hargrove cooed. “You really deserved that win.”
“Effortless Christmas charm,” I replied with a wink. “Sometimes less is more.”
I just smiled and thanked them, my heart doing a little victory dance. Not because I’d won, but because I knew Sharon was probably inside her house, peeking through the blinds, stewing in her own embarrassment.
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A cheerful woman smiling | Source: Midjourney
That night, as I watered my poinsettias, Sharon stepped out to check her mailbox. She glanced my way, and for a second, I thought she might wave or say something civil.
Instead, she turned on her heel and marched back inside, slamming the door behind her so hard I thought the Christmas wreaths might shake.
I chuckled, shaking my head. “Maybe next year, Sharon. Maybe next year!”
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A furious woman standing at the doorway | Source: Midjourney
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
Santa’s Favorite Laughs: 11 Christmas Jokes to Brighten Your Holiday
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Ho ho ho! Feeling festive? These Christmas jokes will have you laughing louder than Santa’s belly shake. Warning: excessive cheer, snort-laughing, and spontaneous caroling may occur. Proceed with caution… and cookies!
Jingle all the way to laughter! Grab your eggnog and settle in for some holiday hilarity. These jokes are Santa-approved and guaranteed to make you laugh harder than your uncle after too much Christmas pudding.
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Santa Claus laughing in the snow | Source: Midjourney
1. The Christmas Trap
Mike drummed his fingers on his desk, staring at his phone. His wife Janet gave him a knowing wink from across the room, already struggling to contain her laughter. Time for their annual Christmas scheme.
“Hey kiddo,” Mike said after his 20-year-old son picked up in Fairbanks, trying to sound devastated. “I hate to drop this bomb, but… your mother and I are getting divorced.”
“WHAT?” Ryan’s voice cracked so hard that his neighbor’s cat fell off the windowsill. “Dad, you can’t be serious! You just posted those matching Christmas sweater photos!”
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A shocked young man holding a phone | Source: Midjourney
“Dead serious. Can’t stand looking at her cookbooks anymore. Three hundred and forty-two sugar cookie recipes is where I draw the line. Call your sister in Sydney. I’m done talking about it.”
Ryan immediately called his sister Ashley, nearly dropping his phone in his panic. “Dad’s lost his mind! They’re getting divorced over a cookbook!”
“OVER MY DEAD BODY AND EVERY CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT I OWN!” Ashley screeched, making her office plants wilt. She speed-dialed home. “Listen here, old man! Don’t you DARE sign anything! Ryan and I are flying home TONIGHT!”
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A shocked woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
Mike hung up and high-fived Janet, and both of them doubled over with laughter. “Works every year. Both kids coming home for Christmas. And they’re buying their own tickets!”
Janet wiped tears from her eyes. “Should we tell them this is how we got them to come to Thanksgiving too?”
“Nah,” Mike grinned. “Let’s save that trick for Easter!”
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An older man with a wicked grin | Source: Midjourney
2. The Christmas Angel
Eleanor had been working in the Dead Letter Office for five years, but she’d never seen anything quite like this — an envelope addressed simply to “God” in shaky handwriting that looked like it had been written during an earthquake.
Inside was a letter that made her heart squeeze:
“Dear God, I’m Martha, 85 years young and running low on miracles. Some sneaky youngster with unusually fast hands swiped my purse yesterday with my entire month’s pension. $120. I’ve got five dear friends coming for Christmas dinner, and now I can’t even afford a can of cranberry sauce. I know you’re busy with world peace and all, but could you spare a miracle for an old lady with a sweet tooth and empty cupboards? Love, Martha (the one with the crooked garden gnome collection at the end of Maple Street).”
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A lady postal services worker reading a letter | Source: Midjourney
Eleanor shared the letter with her coworkers. By lunch, they’d collected $116, raiding coffee funds, lunch money, and that secret candy bar stash everyone pretended not to know about.
A week after Christmas, another letter arrived:
“Dear God, You’re a real peach! That $116 you’d left in my mailbox made for the best Christmas dinner ever! My friends said it was divine intervention. I’d say they’re right! Even my arthritis felt better!
P.S. Some sticky-fingered postal worker must’ve skimmed $4 off the top. Might want to look into that. I hear you’ve got connections with Santa’s naughty list! Love, Martha.”
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A cheerful older lady enjoying Christmas dinner with her friends | Source: Midjourney
3. North Pole Chaos
“Code Red! Code Red!” Junior Elf Timothy squeaked into the North Pole intercom, his voice cracking like ice in hot cocoa. “Four senior elves down with candy cane flu! The toy production line looks like a modern art exhibition!”
Santa rubbed his temples, watching the trainee elves turn teddy bears into abstract sculptures. Mrs. Claus chose that perfect moment to chirp, “Honey, Mother’s coming for Christmas! She’s bringing her entire fruitcake collection… even the one that set off the North Pole airport security!”
In the stables, Rudolph was organizing a reindeer union strike, demanding premium carrots and heated stalls. Dancer was in labor (terrible timing), and Prancer had eloped with a local moose named Bruce who promised her a cabin in the woods.
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Startled Santa Claus | Source: Midjourney
Santa trudged to load the sleigh, only to hear an ominous CRACK! The floor splintered like thin ice, sending toys scattering everywhere like confetti at a New Year’s party gone wrong.
Stumbling inside for coffee, he found the elves had replaced it with sugar-free hot chocolate with a tag that read: “It’s healthier, Boss!” The milk jug slipped from his hands, shattering into a million pieces that sparkled like evil little stars on the kitchen floor. The cleanup broom looked like it had been through a beaver party. Suddenly, the doorbell buzzed.
DING DONG!
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Santa Claus holding a broom | Source: Midjourney
Santa yanked open the door, ready to cancel Christmas entirely. There stood a tiny angel, struggling under a massive Christmas tree that made her look like a sprite with an oversized umbrella.
“Special delivery!” she beamed, twinkling with festive cheer. “Where would you like me to stick it?”
And that’s why Christmas trees have angels on top, sporting slightly alarmed expressions and questioning their career choices.
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An angel under a Christmas tree | Source: Midjourney
4. Heavenly Volume
Tommy and Jack were spending Christmas Eve at Grandma Rose’s house, famous for her legendary sugar cookies and selective hearing that rivaled military-grade noise-canceling technology.
At bedtime, Tommy (age 6) knelt beside his bed and began his strategic prayer:
“DEAR GOD, I WOULD REALLY LOVE A NEW XBOX…”
“AND A REMOTE CONTROL DINOSAUR THAT ACTUALLY BREATHES FIRE…”
“AND MAYBE A ROCKET SHIP WITH REAL ROCKET FUEL…”
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A little boy praying | Source: Midjourney
Jack (age 8) nudged his brother, rolling his eyes. “Dude, volume control! God’s not streaming on Spotify!”
Tommy shot back with a mischievous grin that would make elves proud. “Yeah, but Grandma is doing her Christmas shopping tomorrow, and her hearing aid’s been acting up since she tried to bluetooth it to her toaster!”
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A little boy looking up and laughing | Source: Midjourney
5. The Shopping Surprise
Linda lost track of her husband Dave at the crowded mall during last-minute Christmas shopping. After 20 minutes of searching between the endless sea of panic-buying shoppers, she called his cell.
“Dave, where on earth did you disappear to? The mall closes in an hour!”
“Honey,” his voice softened mysteriously, “remember that fancy jewelry store from our first Christmas together? The one where you fell in love with that stunning sapphire necklace, but we were so broke we could barely afford the window shopping?”
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A man talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
Linda’s heart fluttered, her anger melting faster than a snowman in July. “The one on Fifth Street? Oh my god, Dave… you didn’t…”
“Well,” he paused dramatically, “I’m in the dollar store next door. They’re having a massive sale on gift bags! Three for a dollar! Want me to grab some?”
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A woman gaping in shock | Source: Midjourney
6. The Carol Critic
“Hey Emma,” her little brother Charlie called from the doorway, munching on his third candy cane of the morning. “You should totally join the Christmas choir at school! They’re still accepting applications!”
14-year-old Emma stopped practicing her scales, hope blooming in her eyes. “Really? You actually like my singing? After all this time?”
“Nah,” Charlie grinned, revealing red and white striped teeth. “But they only perform once a year, and I already know which day to wear my noise-canceling headphones!”
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A stunned teenage girl holding a songbook | Source: Midjourney
7. The Gift Switch
At the office Christmas party, Tom was bragging about the amazing gift he got his wife Sarah, waving his phone around with photos.
“Check it out, man. Diamond earrings! Cost me a fortune, but worth every penny!”
His coworker Steve whistled, sipping his fourth cup of spiked eggnog. “But didn’t Sarah specifically ask for that new SUV? The one she’s been hinting about since last Christmas?”
“She did,” Tom smirked, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “But try finding a fake Ford Explorer that’ll fool your mother-in-law!”
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A man holding a pair of earrings and laughing | Source: Midjourney
8. The Budget Tree
“Dad, pleeeease can we get a real Christmas tree this year?” little Jimmy begged for the hundredth time, giving his best puppy dog eyes. “I’m tired of explaining to my friends why our plastic tree smells like a basement and old tennis shoes!”
Frank grabbed his axe and wallet, sighing dramatically while secretly winking at his wife. “Fine. The things I do for Christmas spirit…”
He returned suspiciously quickly with a perfect tree, not a drop of sweat in sight.
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A man holding an axe | Source: Midjourney
“That was fast,” Jimmy said, eyeing the pristine axe. “Did you even use it?”
“Nope!” Frank grinned proudly. “But the tree lot guy offered a 75% discount when I started examining the trees with it! Sometimes the best lumberjack is the one who never swings!”
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A stunned boy | Source: Midjourney
9. The Biblical Bird
Three brothers — Richie, Steve, and Joe — gathered for their annual post-Christmas brag-fest about their gifts to their 80-year-old mother.
Richie puffed up his chest. “I built her a mansion with an elevator and a meditation room!”
Steve smirked, twirling his car keys. “Amateur. I bought her a Rolls-Royce with a personal chauffeur!”
Joe leaned back, sipping his cocoa. “You guys are so last season. Remember how Mom loves the Bible but can’t see well? I found this amazing parrot that recites the entire Bible on command. Took the church elders twelve years to train him. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse!”
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A person in church holding a parrot | Source: Midjourney
Their mother’s thank-you notes arrived the next week:
“Dear Richie: The mansion’s lovely, but I’m too old to remember which of the 7 bathrooms I left my glasses in.
Dear Steve: The car’s beautiful, but my driver keeps falling asleep during my stories.
Dear Joe: The chicken was pretty small but delicious! Especially with the sage stuffing!”

Roasted chicken on the table | Source: Midjourney
10. The Window Shopping Incident
Karen spotted the perfect Christmas party dress sparkling in the store’s window display, guaranteed to make her the talk of the office party.
“Excuse me,” she called to a passing saleswoman. “Could I try on that gorgeous shimmery dress in the window? The one with the sequins?”
The saleswoman clutched her pearls, looking thoroughly scandalized. “Absolutely not, Ma’am! We have perfectly good fitting rooms for that sort of thing. This isn’t that kind of establishment!”

A dress displayed in a store | Source: Midjourney
11. The Santa Hotline
Sophie was driving her mom crazy with constant battles with her teenage sister Madison. The latest war was over borrowed (stolen) Christmas sweaters and who ate the last gingerbread cookie.
Mom had enough. “That’s it! I’m calling Santa!”
She dialed her brother Bob, resident Santa impersonator extraordinaire. Sophie’s eyes grew huge as Mom detailed her crimes against sisterhood, including the Great Hair Dryer Incident of last Tuesday.
“Santa wants a word with you,” Mom handed over the phone, trying not to smirk as her master plan unfolded.

A smiling woman holding a phone | Source: Midjourney
Uncle Bob dropped his voice to subterranean levels. “Sophie, Sophie, Sophie… No presents for girls who torment their sisters. I’m watching! And yes, I saw you hide that cookie under your pillow!”
Sophie nodded solemnly through the lecture, then hung up with a suspicious gleam in her eye.
“Well?” Mom asked, expecting victory. “What did Santa say?”
Sophie shrugged, skipping away. “He said Madison’s getting coal this year. Apparently, she’s the real troublemaker. Also, he said you should check your own cookie stash, Mom!”

A little girl smiling | Source: Midjourney
And there you have it, folks! If these jokes made you laugh, share them faster than your relatives share embarrassing childhood stories at Christmas dinner! Keep spreading the holiday cheer with these 10 More Best Christmas Jokes. Ho ho ho!

Cheerful Santa Claus laughing | Source: Midjourney
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