Becoming a mom to a second child decades after my first one was meant to be positively life-changing. But my son announced he was expecting a child too, and that’s where our clashes began! His pregnant girlfriend threw tantrums making demands I wasn’t willing to accommodate!
An unhappy pregnant woman lying in a hospital bed | Source: Freepik
My son, Kyle, was born when I was 20 and still a child myself, but I think I did the best for him as a parent.
This year was supposed to be one of joyful experiences. First, at forty-two, 22 years after welcoming Kyle, I chose to become a mother for the second time! The second happy thing that happened also left ME shocked!
A happy pregnant woman looking at herself in a mirror | Source: Pexels
Kyle, who was in his final year of college, broke the news of his girlfriend’s pregnancy when I was four months along! I hadn’t expected that before the year was out I’d become a mother and soon afterward, a grandmother!
I am not going to lie, but I wasn’t very thrilled about my son becoming a parent at a young age like me. From my own experiences, which include being a single parent, bringing up a baby when you’re still pretty much one is HARD.
But, I refrained from saying anything because Kyle seemed excited.
A young pregnant couple | Source: Pexels
“That’s amazing, Kyle! I can’t believe you’re going to be a father!” I exclaimed, hugging him. “Thanks, Mom! Well, you’re going to be a first-time grandmother!” he replied, returning the warm embrace.
“Our children are going to be born a few months apart!” I realized this as we discussed the matter further.
Despite the initial shock, I embraced my new role. I started supporting them both emotionally and with a lot of financial help. Our lives, already intertwined, were about to grow even closer—or so I thought.
A worried woman | Source: Pexels
The tension began when I recently gave birth to my beautiful baby girl. Kyle and his girlfriend, Sarah, were some of the people who visited me in the hospital. “Congratulations! You’re now a parent to two gorgeous children!” Kyle said as he tied down balloons and his girlfriend gave me flowers.
“Aw! Thanks for coming through, guys. The flowers and balloons are lovely!” Luck was on their side because right at that moment, the nurse wheeled in my baby girl for me to feed her. “What is my baby sister’s name?” my son asked while touching her tiny fist.
A happy woman cradling her newborn baby | Source: Getty Images
“I named her Clara,” I proudly told them. The name held sentimental value to me and it was one I thought would usher in a new chapter for our growing family. But, Kyle and his girlfriend had other ideas!
When they found out her name, my son’s girlfriend gave out a piercing scream! I swear, I thought I had become deaf! My baby girl broke out in her own bawl, frightened by the unexpected sound!
I held my precious bundle close to me and tried to comfort her.
An upset woman screaming | Source: Pexels
Their visit to the hospital should have been a happy occasion, but it dissolved into chaos! The nurse came rushing back in, concerned about baby Clara. Sarah had screamed so loudly that I feared for the hospital’s windows!
Their demand was immediate and absurd: I was to change Clara’s name. “The point is, this name…” Kyle tried to argue, his face red with frustration. The nurse, realizing that some serious drama was about to unfold, asked:
“Can I take Cla… I mean, the baby back? I’ll bring her in again later when things are calmer.”
A nurse holding a baby | Source: Getty Images
With my newborn safe from the spectacle that was unfolding, I stood firm as I said “NO,” the weight of my decision unequivocal. Sarah tried saying something but Kyle grabbed hold of her arm.
They stormed out of the hospital, leaving a wake of bewildered nurses and a very tired new mom.
A couple walking away together | Source: Freepik
Days turned into weeks, and the issue seemed to simmer down. Yet, Kyle and Sarah announced they had chosen a new name for their daughter: Paxtyn. The name fell flat between us during a tense family dinner. My unintentional grimace set off a firestorm.
“It’s your fault!” Sarah accused, her voice sharp with resentment. “You stole the only name I liked, and now you ruin this one too!”
“Could you please stop shouting? My baby is trying to sleep in the other room,” I implored her.
An unhappy couple at a dinner | Source: Pexels
Kyle, caught between us, tried to mend fences. “Mom, could you reconsider it? Just to keep peace?” His eyes pleaded for some compromise.
But the idea of changing my daughter’s name to appease them felt wrong. “I cannot believe you’d ask me to rename my child,” I told him, the absurdity of the situation not lost on me. “Firstly, my baby came before your child.”
“Secondly, you guys NEVER mentioned wanting to name your child that.”
Let me tell you, that dinner ended then and there as we couldn’t reach a compromise.
A woman arguing with someone | Source: Pexels
Their threats escalated over the next few days. “You have two months to fix this,” Kyle warned over the phone.
It seemed he was implying that by the time their child was born, I should’ve changed my daughter’s name. Sarah grabbed hold of the phone. She said, “We’ll call your granddaughter Paxtyn and I’ll enjoy it when I tell my friends her ridiculous name!”
An upset woman talking on the phone | Source: Pixabay
I couldn’t believe this young woman’s nerve! She was saying she hates ME more than she loves HER daughter. “You’re willing to have her ridiculed for the rest of her life to punish ME?” I asked incredulously.
When my son snatched the phone back, I questioned if he even liked the name Paxtyn, and he hung up!
A man talking on the phone | Source: Pexels
In a moment of exasperation, I texted Sarah, trying perhaps foolishly to extend an olive branch. “I’ve been thinking about it, and I kind of like the name Paxtyn,” I lied.
Her response was swift and venomous. “To hell with you!”
That text ended not only the conversation but also my financial help to them. It was a harsh line to draw, but necessary for my sanity and respect. I refused to be blackmailed over a name, especially one that meant so much to me.
A woman texting on her phone in her bedroom | Source: Pexels
In the quiet that followed, I held Clara close. Her innocent eyes are wide and uncomprehending of the adult complexities swirling around her. I whispered promises of love and protection, a vow to keep her world as pure and joyful as possible.
As for Kyle and Sarah, the distance between us grew. They chose to keep the name Paxtyn, a constant reminder of the rift. Yet, despite the heartache, I remain hopeful. Time, I believe, heals and teaches in equal measure.
A young couple with their child | Source: Pexels
Someday, they might understand why I had to stand my ground. For now, I focus on Clara, my unexpected blessing, and let the storm of that year slowly fade into memory.
A woman holding her baby at the beach | Source: Pexels
Kyle’s mother had to put her foot down and some boundaries but things didn’t end well in her relationship with her son. Unfortunately, Ella had a similar situation with her daughter, but she fell pregnant. The pregnant daughter ended up breaking her mother’s trust, causing a strain between them.
Am I a Bad Mother for Kicking My Pregnant Daughter Out?
Hi, I’m Ella, and I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster lately. I’m a single mom to my 19-year-old daughter, Rose, who’s been dating Nathan, a guy I surprisingly warmed up to, considering I’m pretty guarded.
A young and happy couple | Source: Pexels
They seemed perfect together until one day Rose dropped a bombshell—she was pregnant and engaged to Nathan. Just as I was wrapping my head around becoming a grandmother and accepting their future together, my world turned upside down!
I came home early one day, expecting a quiet afternoon, only to find Rose in a compromising situation with another man! The heartbreak and betrayal I felt at that moment were overwhelming. I asked the stranger to leave immediately and confronted Rose.
A couple caught in bed together | Source: Freepik
Her tearful pleas and explanations did little to calm the storm inside me. In a moment of hurt and anger, I told her she needed to leave our home. Now, I’m left questioning everything. Should I tell Nathan about what happened?
Did I overreact by asking Rose to leave? I’m torn between my love for my daughter and the betrayal I feel. What would you do in my shoes?
An upset woman thinking about something | Source: Getty Images
These bugs come out at nighttime, and attacking victims, they silently kill or leave them with a lifelong infection
When Emiliana Rodriguez was a little girl, she recalls watching friends play a nighttime soccer match when one of the players abruptly died on the pitch.
Unaware of what had transpired, Rodriguez, a native of Bolivia, developed a phobia of the dark and the “monster”—the silent killer known as Chagas—that she had been told only appears at night.
Chagas disease is a unique sort of illness that is spread by nocturnal insects. It is also known as the “silent and silenced disease” that infects up to 8 million people annually, killing 12,000 people on average.
Emiliana Rodriguez, 42, discovered she had to live with Chagas, a “monster,” after relocating to Barcelona from Bolivia 27 years ago.
“Night is when the fear generally struck. I didn’t always sleep well,” she admitted. “I was worried that I wouldn’t wake up from my sleep.”
Rodriguez had specific tests when she was eight years old and expecting her first child, and the results indicated that she carried the Chagas gene. She recalled the passing of her buddy and remarked, “I was paralyzed with shock and remembered all those stories my relatives told me about people suddenly dying.” “I wondered, ‘What will happen to my baby?’”
Rodriguez was prescribed medicine, though, to prevent the parasite from vertically transmitting to her unborn child. After her daughter was born, she tested negative. Elvira Idalia Hernández Cuevas, 18, was unaware of the Mexican silent killer until her 18-year-old son was diagnosed with Chagas.
Idalia, an eighteen-year-old blood donor from her birthplace near Veracruz, Mexico, had a positive diagnosis for Chagas, a disease caused by triatomine bugs, often known as vampire or kissing bugs and bloodsucking parasites, when her sample was tested.
In an interview with the Guardian, Hernandez stated, “I started to research Chagas on the internet because I had never heard of it.” When I read that it was a silent murderer, I became really afraid. I had no idea where to go or what to do.
She is not alone in this; a lot of people are ignorant of the diseases that these unpleasant bugs can spread. The term Chagas originates from Carlos Ribeiro Justiniano Chagas, a Brazilian physician and researcher who made the discovery of the human case in 1909.
Over the past few decades, reports of the incidence of Chagas disease have been made in Europe, Japan, Australia, Latin America, and North America.
Kissing bugs are mostly found in rural or suburban low-income housing walls, where they are most active at night when humans are asleep. The insect bites an animal or person, then excretes on the skin of the victim. The victim may inadvertently scratch the area and sever the skin, or they may spread the excrement into their mouth or eyes. This is how the T. cruzi infection is disseminated.
The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that between 6 and 7 million people worldwide—roughly 8 million people in Mexico, Central America, and South America—have Chagas disease; the majority of these individuals remain oblivious to their illness. These estimates are provided by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The persistent infection might be fatal if untreated. According to the Guardian, Chagas disease kills over 12,000 people year, “more people in Latin America than any other parasite disease, including malaria.”
Despite the fact that these bugs have been found in the United States—nearly 300,000 people are infected—they are not thought to be endemic.
While some people never experience any symptoms, the CDC notes that 20 to 30 percent experience gastrointestinal or heart problems that can cause excruciating pain decades later.
Furthermore, only 10% of cases are detected globally, which makes prevention and treatment exceedingly challenging.
Hernández and her daughter Idalia went to see a number of doctors in search of assistance, but all were also uninformed about Chagas disease and its management. “I was taken aback, terrified, and depressed because I believed my kid was going to pass away. Above all, Hernandez stated, “I was more anxious because I was unable to locate any trustworthy information.”
Idalia finally got the care she required after receiving assistance from a family member who was employed in the medical field.
“The Mexican government claims that the Chagas disease is under control and that not many people are affected, but that is untrue,” Hernández asserts. Medical practitioners misdiagnose Chagas disease for other heart conditions because they lack knowledge in this area. Most people are unaware that there is Chagas in Mexico.
The World Health Organization (WHO) has classified chagas as a neglected tropical disease, which means that the global health policy agenda does not include it.
Chagas is overlooked in part because, according to Colin Forsyth, a research manager at the Drugs for Neglected Diseases Initiative (DNDi), “it’s a silent disease that stays hidden for so long in your body… because of the asymptomatic nature of the initial part of the infection.”
Forsyth went on to say, “The people affected just don’t have the power to influence healthcare policy,” making reference to the impoverished communities. It’s kept hidden by a convergence of social and biological factors.
Chagas, however, is becoming more well recognized as it spreads to other continents and can also be transferred from mother to child during pregnancy or childbirth, as well as through organ and blood transfusions.
The main objective of the Chagas Hub, a UK-based facility founded by Professor David Moore, a doctor at the Hospital for Tropical Diseases in London, is to get “more people tested and treated, and to manage the risk of transmission, which in the UK is from mother to child,” according to Professor Moore.
Regarding the WHO’s 2030 aim for the eradication of the disease, Moore stated that progress toward it is “glacial” and added, “I can’t imagine that we’ll be remotely close by 2030.” That seems improbable.
Two medications that have been available for more than 50 years to treat chagas are benznidazole and nifurtimox, which according to Moore are “toxic, unpleasant, not particularly effective.”
Although the medications are effective in curing babies, there is no guarantee that they will prevent or halt the advancement of the condition in adults.
Regarding severe adverse effects, Rodriguez remembers getting dizziness and nausea as well as breaking out in hives. She completed her therapy, and she gets checked out annually.
Moore goes on to say that while creating stronger anti-Chaga drugs is crucial to stopping the disease’s spread, pharmaceutical companies are currently not financially motivated to do so.
As president of the International Federation of Associations of People Affected by Chagas condition (FINDECHAGAS), Hernández is on a mission to raise awareness of the condition until there is a greater need on the market for innovative treatments.
In Spain, Rodriguez is battling the “monster” as part of a campaign to increase public awareness of Chagas disease being conducted by the Barcelona Institute for Global Health.
“I’m tired of hearing nothing at all,” Rodriguez declares. “I want Chagas to be discussed and made public. I’m in favor of testing and therapy for individuals.
They are being heard, too.
World Chagas Disease Day was instituted by the WHO on April 14, 1909, the day Carlos discovered the disease’s first human case.The WHO states that “a diversified set of 20 diseases and disease categories are set out to be prevented, controlled, eliminated, and eradicated through global targets for 2030 and milestones.” And among them is Chagas.
To prevent a possible infestation, the CDC suggests taking the following steps:
Close up any gaps and fissures around doors, windows, walls, and roofs.
Clear out the rock, wood, and brush piles close to your home.
Put screens on windows and doors, and fix any tears or holes in them.
Close up gaps and crevices that lead to the exterior, crawl areas beneath the home, and the attic.
Keep pets inside, especially during the evening.
Maintain the cleanliness of your home and any outdoor pet resting places, and check for bugs on a regular basis.
If you believe you have discovered a kissing insect, the CDC recommends avoiding crushing it. Alternatively, carefully put the bug in a jar, fill it with rubbing alcohol, and then freeze it. It is then recommended that you bring the bug’s container to an academic lab or your local health authority so that it can be identified.
Please tell this tale to help spread the word about an illness that goes unnoticed!
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