Smaller houses and apartments don’t stop many Japanese couples from sleeping in different beds or even rooms. This is not some kind of an intimate issue or problem with the relationship, but something that they believe is good for them.
We at Bright Side found out why married couples in Japan choose to sleep separately, and we really like their reasons.
They have different sleep schedules.
The first thing that makes Japanese couples decide to go to bed separately is different work schedules. Waking up your significant other just because you got home late from work or have to leave early won’t result in good quality rest for them. This is why spending the night in a different room makes sense. This will give them both an undisturbed and healthier sleep.
Babies sleep with their mothers.
Japanese mothers sleep with their children and this is considered very important, so the father needs to decide if he wants to share the same bed or go to a different room. Even science has proven that co-sleeping can help parents and children get a more restful sleep. It helps the child to maintain a stable temperature and heart rate (which is really critical in infancy) and at the same time, it decreases the chance of sudden infant death syndrome. Also, this contributes to the child having better self-esteem, becoming independent faster, and doing great in school.
For them, sleeping separately means peace.
While many couples who start to sleep alone think that divorce is at their door, the Japanese see it differently. They value their sleep a lot and they don’t want to be disturbed while sleeping. This means that they don’t need and don’t like to put up with snoring, restless sleep, kicking, etc. Even though some don’t have the opportunity to sleep in different rooms, they still wish they could get their beauty sleep.
Couples have a history of sleeping separately.
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Futons are filled with cotton, which provides support and comfort. In the past, only single sized ones were used as beds. So, even if you wanted to cuddle up with your loved one, you would have ended up between the sheets, on the cold floor, and you wouldn’t feel comfortable. Today there are families that still use this type of bedding, especially because it doesn’t take up a lot of space and it is easy to store.
Do you sleep separately from your partner? Do you think this type of practice might be even better for your relationship?
HE DIDN’T VISIT HIS MOM FOR 7 YEARS – WHAT HE FOUND WILL SHOCK YOU
Olive finally got a good job right when her son, Chris, left for college. She was so happy to be able to help him with everything he needed. As Chris stood at the train station, about to leave for New York, Olive reassured him, “Chris, don’t worry about anything. I’ll pay for as much as I can. If you need anything, just call me.”
For most of Chris’s life, Olive had struggled to make ends meet. She raised him on her own and studied at night to improve their situation. While Chris always had food and a roof over his head, Olive could never afford the things other kids had. His gifts were often second-hand, and Olive felt guilty for not being able to give him more.
Despite this, she loved him deeply and worked hard to ensure he had the best future possible. Seven years passed, and they only talked through video calls, but one day, Chris returned home and was shocked by what had happened.
Olive was finally earning a decent salary and felt proud she could give Chris anything he needed. “Thank you, Mom,” Chris said, hugging her tightly before getting on the train to New York.
Years passed, and one day, Chris decided to visit his mom. He knocked on the door of his childhood home, but there was no answer. Confused, he peeked through the window—and couldn’t believe what he saw. The house was completely empty.
***
“Mrs. Franklin, you should come to visit! I’m so huge now!” Chris’s fiancée, Rosalie, said cheerfully during a video call, showing off her baby bump. Olive smiled through the screen, but something weighed heavily on her mind.
“Mom, I wanted to ask you something,” Chris began, scratching the back of his head nervously. “Since Rosalie and I are about to graduate and we’re having a baby, I was wondering if you could help us with a house. We’ve already found one in New Jersey. We can’t afford to live in the city, but it’s beautiful, and it reminds me of home.”
Olive stared at her son, deep in thought. “Well, I… don’t know,” she hesitated, thinking about her savings and the hard work she’d put in over the years. She was finally planning for her retirement.
“Please, Mom,” Chris pleaded, explaining the cost of the house and how much they needed for a down payment. He also mentioned that Rosalie didn’t have any family to help them out.
After a long pause, Olive sighed. “Ok, Chris, ok. I think we can work something out.” She knew it would mean using up her entire savings and living even more frugally, but it was possible.
Chris’s face lit up. “Thank you! Thank you, Mom! I don’t know what I’d do without you!” he said, nearly in tears. Olive smiled back, knowing that all her sacrifices were worth it.
***
“I wish you guys could come this Christmas,” Olive said in front of her computer, as she had done many times over the years. It had been seven years since Chris left home, and he hadn’t returned to their Maryland hometown. All their communication was through video calls. Olive was missing out on her granddaughter’s life, and it hurt her deeply. But everyone was always busy, and she felt lonelier with each passing year.
Olive was working harder than ever, still helping Chris financially. She had already depleted her savings once, and now, after helping him start a business, they were almost gone again. Olive never asked Chris for anything in return, but she wished they would at least visit her, as she couldn’t make the trip herself.
“We can’t, Mom. Not this year,” Chris said, shaking his head apologetically during another video call. “But thank you for the gifts you sent Mallory. She loves them. You’re an amazing grandma.”
“Can you put her on the screen?” Olive asked gently. She smiled as she watched her granddaughter, but the longing to hold her was overwhelming.
***
What Olive didn’t know was that Chris was finally planning a surprise visit. He couldn’t afford plane tickets for Rosalie and Mallory to come with him, but he was excited to see his mother after so many years.
However, when his taxi pulled up in front of the house, Chris frowned. It was 9 p.m., and the house was completely dark. He told the driver to wait for a moment and stepped out. Something was off. The porch furniture was gone, the plants his mother had always cared for were missing, the garden was overgrown, and even the welcome mat was no longer there. His heart sank as he walked toward the door.
Chris knocked on the door again, but there was still no response. He peeked through the window and was shocked—everything inside was gone. *Did Mom move? Why didn’t she tell me?* he thought, feeling a knot of concern form in his chest.
“Chris? Is that you?” a familiar voice called out.
He turned around to see Mrs. Torres, the elderly woman who had lived next door his entire life. “Mrs. Torres! Hi!” he greeted.
“What are you doing here, kid?” she asked, surprised.
“I’m here to see Mom. Do you know where she is?” Chris asked, frowning, feeling more confused by the second.
“Oh, dear. Your mother moved away about two years ago. She sold the house, but the new owners only moved out a few weeks ago. I’m not sure who’s moving in next,” Mrs. Torres said, her face scrunching up as she spoke.
“She never told me,” Chris muttered in disbelief. “Do you know where she went?”
“Yes, I have her new address somewhere. Come inside,” Mrs. Torres replied, leading him to her house. After a few minutes, she handed Chris a piece of paper with the address written on it.
Chris read it and frowned deeply. The address was in a part of town known for being run-down. “Do you know why she moved to that area?” he asked Mrs. Torres, feeling uneasy.
“No, honey. But I know she has a roommate now,” Mrs. Torres said with a shrug, leaving Chris even more puzzled.
Feeling anxious, Chris returned to the taxi and gave the driver the new address. The car pulled up to a shabby apartment complex on a poorly lit street. The building’s paint was peeling, and it looked neglected. Chris hurried inside, noticing there was no security as he easily made his way up to the apartment.
When Olive opened the door, her eyes widened in shock. “Chris? What are you doing here?”
“Mom! What is going on? Why did you sell the house?” Chris asked, bewildered and upset.
Olive sighed heavily and stepped aside, inviting her son into the small, cramped living room. Once they sat down, she began to explain.
“The first time you asked for money for the house, I still had some savings left, so I used them to help you and Rosalie. But when you asked for money for your business, I didn’t have anything saved up. So, I decided to sell the house and give you most of the profit,” Olive said, her voice calm but tinged with sadness.
Chris was stunned. He had no idea. The realization that his mother had sold her home to help him was like a punch to the gut. “Mom, why didn’t you tell me? I never would’ve taken that money if I had known. I feel terrible… I’ve been so careless,” he said, his voice breaking with guilt.
“But, sweetheart, I just wanted you to succeed,” Olive explained softly. “I couldn’t give you much when you were younger, and I wanted to make up for it. I didn’t want you to struggle…”
Chris shook his head, his heart heavy. “Mom, you didn’t fail me. You gave me everything that mattered. I wish I had seen that sooner,” he said, his voice filled with regret.
“Mom, you gave me everything I ever needed,” Chris said, his voice shaking with emotion. “I only asked for help because I thought you could afford it. I shouldn’t have asked. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for not checking on you, for not visiting, and for letting you live here, with a roommate, at your age. I’m so sorry.” Tears of frustration streamed down his face.
Olive, with tears in her eyes, hugged her son tightly. They held each other, both overwhelmed with emotion. Chris made many promises that night, vowing never to let her struggle again. Later, he called Rosalie and explained everything. Together, they agreed it was time to move Olive closer to them.
Fortunately, Olive found a new job in New Jersey quickly, and within a few months, they had built an in-law suite for her. Olive was finally close to her family and could enjoy every moment with her granddaughter, Mallory.
Chris worked hard and repaid his mother every penny she had given him for the house and his business, which had become a huge success. Their family was comfortable, and most importantly, Chris never let his mother sacrifice for him again. Olive never missed another precious moment of her granddaughter’s life, and Chris made sure that she would always be taken care of from then on.
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