According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Abandoned Dog Tied to Tree Now Safe as Owner Faces Charges
The discovery of an abandoned puppy chained to a tree was quite heartbreaking. The dog is now in good hands, and the owner is facing consequences, so thankfully this is a happy ending.
On April 22, while strolling with his dog through South Windsor, Connecticut’s Frank Niederwerfer Wildlife Sanctuary, a man happened found the abandoned animal, bound to a tree limb.
The dog was healthy overall, but his red eyes and pressure on his neck from the collar were clear signs of his suffering, as CT Insider reported.
An investigation into the dog’s desertion was started right once by the kind-hearted bystander who contacted the authorities. Even more generously, Desmond’s Army Animal Law Advocates offered a $5,000 prize for any information that resulted in an arrest.
The Tyler Regional Animal Care Shelter adopted the dog, who had a collar tag that read “Kobe.”
The shelter said that Kobe was doing well in spite of his trying ordeal. He received a microchip, vaccinations, and neutering.
“He is learning manners and personal space, and his eyes are almost healed,” the shelter wrote on Facebook. “Everyone who sees him is giving him attention, and he is LOVING it.”
Positively, Janiya Bradford, a 26-year-old Manchester, Connecticut resident, the previous owner, eventually stepped forward. According to police, she made her decision mostly because of the extensive attention she received on social media.
Sgt. Mark Cleverdon of the South Windsor police told NBC Connecticut, “I genuinely believe that the public’s strong reaction compelled the suspect to come forward and talk to us.”
Such abandonments are distressingly regular, occurring “every day,” according to community service worker Kaley Curtis. Finding the criminal, nevertheless, is uncommon.
Bradford was charged with animal abuse and was freed on a $5,000 bond while she awaited her June 5 court appearance.
Kobe, who is now going by “Obie,” has wonderful news: adoption will be possible shortly. His dislike of men means that his household must be exclusively female. Considering how much support there is for him, he should have no trouble finding a loving home.
That Kobe, who is now Obie, was abandoned in such a manner is tragic, but it is comforting to know that he is getting the love and care he deserves. May he soon come across a caring family! Do not hesitate to share this inspirational tale!
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