According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Ways BFF Relationships Have Changed From The ’90s Versus Today
We all experienced that a person BFF escalating up in the ’90s
— that one particular particular person we’d have late-evening mobile phone phone calls with,
gossip with about how strict our parents had been, coordinate outfits with.
And when you think about best mates in the ’90s compared to nowadays, you notice that a whole lot has adjusted,
but the fundamentals remain the exact same: you however expend late evenings on the cellphone with your BFF
and you even now gossip with her. You also nevertheless coordinate outfits but then faux it was a total accident.
Actually, factors aren’t all that diverse just after all. We’re just older and drink way extra wine.
Best buddies are the siblings we by no means had. Or possibly we did have siblings
but we just did not like them incredibly considerably. Although your siblings stole your favourite
toys and ran all around exterior with your schooling bra on your head (*cough* happened to a friend…),
your very best friend was the a single you’d make prank calls with, and the shoulder
to cry on when you caught your crush holding fingers with some other chick on the playground.
We would not be the place we are with no our finest buddies
— both equally again in the ’90s, and to this day, even nevertheless times might have adjusted a minor.
1. The Fights We Get Into
In the ’90s: Your BFF thoroughly promised to take treatment of your digital
pet while you have been away on trip, and then she permit it die. You could not glance at her the exact same after that.
Right now: Older people really do not actually battle anymore. Alternatively,
we depart passive-aggressive comments on Fb and purposely really do not like every single other’s Instagram posts.
2. How We Make Up Afterward
In the ’90s: This was the pre-smartphone era so getting by a combat
with your BFF usually associated passing her a observe in class, full
with plenty of frown faces, dotting the i’s with hearts so she realized how
unhappy you had been with no her, and ending it with “LYLAS” — “love you like a sis,”
for everyone who forgot how we made use of to abbreviate stuff.
Now: The peace offering usually requires a $12 Starbucks espresso consume and a smiling selfie of you two collectively to put the previous at the rear of you.
3. Friday Night Entertainment
In the ’90s: We’d head to the mall and acquire faux nose rings from Claire’s, ideal prior to sneaking into an R-rated film. We were so terrible.
Now: Who goes out any longer? Not us. Give us anything on Netflix to binge watch and a bottle or 12 of wine, and we’re good to go. Can you say FriYAY?
4. Playing Wingwoman
In the ’90s: Right after deciding who the like of your lifetime was employing
the almighty cootie catcher, you’d phase a operate-in throughout science course, although your BFF kept other ladies away.
These days: Just about every BFF is aware the way to aid you obtain lasting appreciate: spending 14 hrs trying to find him on Fb with practically nothing but his center identify.
5. Squad Targets
In the ’90s: In essence, lifetime was all about acquiring a few a lot more women as cool as you so you could fake to be the Spice Women.
Now: Well, the superior information is you only need one far more person to do the One Ladies dance,
but you’re not significantly of a people particular person these times, so your BFF is additional than plenty of.
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