Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
My Cheating Husband Told Me I am Hideous And Ugly. I Gave him a Taste of His Own Medicine
I still remember the day vividly. His words cut deeper than any blade ever could. “You should be grateful I stay with you because nobody else could stand looking at that hideous face every day.” His cruel comment replayed in my mind like a broken record. At 67, I knew I wasn’t as young as I once was, but I had always believed in my inner and outer beauty. When I dressed up and put effort into my appearance, I still caught a look or two from strangers. His betrayal and harsh words completely shattered my self-esteem.
I was devastated. This was the man I had loved, the father of our four children, the person I had devoted my life to. How could he be so cruel? For days, I was in a daze, hurt and saddened by his words and actions. But then, a realization hit me. This man didn’t love me anymore. He thought that because we were old, he could do whatever he wanted without consequences.
“Okay, Mister Martin,” I thought to myself. “Let’s play it your way. I will make you regret this.”
The Perfect Facade
For the next three days, I played the role of the perfect wife. I served him his meals on time, cleaned the house meticulously, and even showed him extra respect. The satisfaction on his petty little face was almost unbearable. He thought he had won, that he had put me in my place. Little did he know, I was just setting the stage for what was to come.
Behind the scenes, I was planning my revenge. I spent hours researching and thinking of ways to hit him where it hurt the most. The first step was to gather evidence of his infidelity. With the help of a private investigator, I collected photographs, messages, and even videos of his escapades.
The Day of Reckoning
The very next day after my perfect facade, I executed my plan. It started like any other day. I made him breakfast, kissed him goodbye as he left for work, and waited patiently. When he came home, he was greeted by our children, all four of them. They had no idea what was about to happen, but I needed them there for what was to come next.
I gathered everyone in the living room and handed out envelopes containing the evidence of his infidelity. As they opened them, the room filled with gasps and shocked expressions. Martin’s face turned from confusion to horror as he realized what was happening.
For Illustrative purpose only
“Martin, you thought you could humiliate me and get away with it?” I said, my voice steady and strong. “You thought I would just sit back and let you walk all over me? You’re wrong. I’ve had enough.”
I looked at our children, their eyes wide with disbelief. “This man,” I continued, “has betrayed not only me but our entire family. He doesn’t deserve our love or respect.”
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