Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
Motorist Fills Pothole Without Consent- Private Company Gets Enraged
Authorities in Cornwall, England, along with the Public Works Department, have been searching for an enigmatic driver who allegedly took matters into their own hands and filled in a massive pothole in the center of the road with cement.
Although residents of Cornwall had to endure extra difficulties to avoid the region at the top of Tanhouse Road and Bodmin Hill in Lostwithiel due to the enormous hole that was in the midst of the tarmac, British people are well aware that the roads aren’t always the greatest.
The road was declared formally closed at the start of April. A representative for the Cornwall Council stated that the road’s surface degradation was caused by an ongoing dispute with drainage.
However, following a month of total government inaction, an unnamed person became quite agitated over the enormous pothole and made the decision to personally fill it with concrete over the first weekend of May. For a little while, the do-it-yourself fix succeeded, and the road was briefly reopened. However, Cormac, the road repair business employed by Cornwall Council, once again stopped the road since their crew hadn’t completed the work in a formal manner.
The Cornwall Highways chiefs are currently searching for the individual who is in charge of this. They added that the signs had been taken down without permission by an unidentified person who had completed the work.
The firm stated that until it catches up with the backlog of pothole repairs, the route would be closed until June 9th. “If information regarding who carried out the works becomes known in the community, I would be grateful if details could be shared,” stated a manager at Cornwall Highways. Colin Martin, the Cornwall councilor for Lanreath and Lostwithiel, said that this pothole served as the “ideal illustration of how the public sector as a whole is collapsing as a result of underfunding.”
“The road has been closed again and will remain closed until it is ‘properly’ repaired by Cormac,’ but they say this could be weeks away as all available teams have been diverted to filling smaller potholes on roads which are still open,” Mr. Martin said in an interview with Cornwall Live. The cash allocated for preventative maintenance and road resurfacing has been reduced by the Conservative-run Cornwall Council throughout the last two years. This imprudent choice has led to potholes popping up all throughout Cornwall more quickly than Cormac can patch them.
This is not the first time a citizen has taken up the role of the local government. A Toronto citizen noticed in 2017 that the community garden would benefit greatly from a new set of park stairs. However, the city estimated that it would cost between $65,000 and $150,000. Thus, for a meager $550, the man built it himself. Continue reading to learn what they did since, of course, the city was not at all pleased.
Leave a Reply