Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
He sang, he conquered, and now he’s a million-dollar winner! The AGT Million Dollar Champion is officially named Richard Goodall. AGT judge Heidi Klum had goosebumps on top of goosebumps, and it’s easy to see why….
“They said my name and flipped it open while I was waiting there. Whoa! The confetti drops. Holding the card that AGT host Terry Cruz used to declare the winner, Richard Goodall exclaimed, “Magic.”
It has taken a while to hear his name. In the spring, Goodall began the audition process. Everything started when a video of him singing to West Vigo pupils was uploaded on Tik Tok. Among those who witnessed it was AGT judge Howie Mandell.
Howie Mandell stated from the AGT red carpet, “When I saw him, when he stepped on our stage, you felt the love that not only I had for him, but the hope he would win.” “You just knew that everyone at home would feel the same strong urge to cast a ballot.”
And voters did. He ranked #1 according to viewer votes. That same engaging charisma won over other judges as well.
“In the competition, he made such progress. America grew to love him. the actual individual. the actual dream. After today, his life will change,” AGT Judge Sophia Vigara remarked.
“I get chills just thinking about him singing on that stage,” the person said. It truly is lovely. He has a lovely voice. He’s really delicious, Heidi Klum, an AGT judge, continued.
Goodall expressed gratitude to WTWO on the red carpet for sharing his trip.
“You guys have supported me the entire way,” “You guys have supported me throughout the entire process,” grinned Goodall.
Additionally, he commended the Wabash Valley residents for their unwavering support.
“Wabash Valley, Terre Haute, Indiana, is appreciated. In an emotional moment, Goodall bowed his head and murmured, “Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Goodall mentioned that one of her “top shelf” bucket list items was to sing with the band “Journey.”
Regarding his future goals, he mentioned going back to work as a school janitor for a short spell. In addition, he mentioned wanting to purchase a home with his wife Angie. Despite having strong ties to Terre Haute, he admitted that he could consider purchasing a home in Florida as he dislikes the harsh Indiana winters.
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